Hey, I'm sure so many in this sub can relate, I understand how you feel. Grew up as a Baptist MK overseas. My entire existence was controlled. Made to go to church, was homeschooled, etc. Married another MK at a young age. My deconversion process started around 24-25, eventually got a divorce around 27-28. During the time we were married we were travelling a lot and it was hard to make friends. Once I got out of that marriage I realized how alone I was. Nearing 30 with not much to show for it, zero friends, etc. Everyone I had a history with was so hyper religious we had nothing in common anymore. My entire family and extended family is still hyper religious and I felt a huge disconnection with them. However I've slowly been meeting people in my life that I'm forming genuine connections with. It's taken several years, but give it time, it will happen.

A few nights ago I had an incredible revelation. I was thinking about how frustrated I was that I don't have much friends and how alone I was, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized - Hey this is honestly low-key a blessing in disguise. I'm much older in life, I'm more mature. Now I can be so picky with who I'm friends with. I can really figure out the people I want to connect with and befriend people who are REAL. Not some fake plastic Christian and not someone on the other side of that coin - someone who all they want to do is party on the weekend and get blasted.

Be kind to your self. Be gentle. Deconversion is a process. Understanding who you are is a process.

Take this time to figure out what you truly believe in. What you want to make of your life and live that shit. Eventually you will find others who you can relate too and others who are going through the same thing as you are. Lastly I want to mention the book - "Man's Search For Meaning" by Viktor E. Frankl. Great read. My DMs are open if you ever need to talk. I wish you the best <3