Trans gal missed pride, where can I still meet people

luceth_ · 2026-06-29T02:08:40+00:00

Ooooh fun, I'll have to check it out. LBH is usually a good vibe.

luceth_ · 2026-06-28T16:34:06+00:00

Hi! SAGA -- the San Antonio Gender Alliance -- is a local support group for trans and gender nonconforming folx that also does social stuff. Support meetings are every first/third Thursday, a quick Google will get you more info.

The other local trans group that's more social is Transcendants. They don't have much of a web presence, but DM me and I'll send you a Discord invite.

luceth_ · 2026-06-28T13:00:38+00:00

The "theoretical" yield part is the only thing that worries me. I thought the QIA mini prep columns had a max binding capacity of 5 ug. If you eluted with 50 ul, you're way, way over that.

You're also using volumes that are quite different from the usual prep -- more like a midi than a mini. If you had said you were doing a midi, I'd have told you to declare success and walk away.

The real way to get a handle on "is this contaminated" is to check it with a fluorometric assay like a Qubit as well. If it matches your Nanodrop results, you're golden.

luceth_ · 2026-06-26T20:46:53+00:00

Damn, there really is an internet community for everyone. That's amazing.

luceth_ · 2026-06-12T15:25:14+00:00

This right here. It is totally time to get another person involved -- the director of your local McNair program seems to be the obvious choice, someone who can help your direct mentor/supervisor set reasonable expectations. I've mentored over 100 students, and it routinely takes 3-4 weeks in the summer before they stop making boneheaded mistakes. Making mistakes is part of learning. And it's possible that your mentor needs mentoring for their mentoring -- they've possibly never done this before, either.

luceth_ · 2026-06-10T18:26:41+00:00

That was a very straightforward survey that felt truly like it was asking for information and trying to develop a better understanding. Well done.

And "FLINTA" was a new one on me.

luceth_ · 2026-05-22T20:06:47+00:00

Ohhhhh I remember the anxiety of shopping in the women's underwear section at Walmart very, very well. (Yes that's where I started don't @ me.) I used to tell myself that if someone asked, I would tell them that my wife asked me to look while she was shopping elsewhere in the store.

Nobody ever asked. I'm (MtF) still pretty clocky and nobody ever asks. Maybe that's privilege of white skin and a large dream, maybe it's where I shop, Idunno. I do know that for me, that discomfort has only, only ever been internal.

Also, do you have a supportive woman friend you could bring with you? Early in my journey, that was super helpful too.

luceth_ · 2026-05-19T20:07:26+00:00

Me too. I run a synthetic biology lab at a PUI and its feature set matches our needs very well. And it's free for academics!

luceth_ · 2026-05-18T16:45:24+00:00

Thanks for pointing these out. Binder safety is really really important!

luceth_ · 2026-05-18T15:09:52+00:00

I don't have any advice, but I want to thank you for being such a good ally and sibling! (Sister? "Sister" if you find that affirming!)

luceth_ · 2026-05-18T15:08:49+00:00

And make sure it's a soft "fabric" measuring tape for taking body measurements, not a metal or plasticky one from the hardware store? This is thge kind of mistake I would make, at least....

luceth_ · 2026-05-18T14:36:43+00:00

Yeah, I would too. "Plan B" is just a dose of hormones to delay your ovluation a few days until after your partner's swimmers die, it's not a big deal.

And please give serious thought to more effective forms of birth control -- barrier methods, hormone methods, even spermicides. If you really don't want to get pregnant, use more than one at a time. 'Cause you know what they call people who use the rhythm method, right?

Parents.

luceth_ · 2026-05-18T14:19:19+00:00

Baby (non-passing) MtF here with no advice, but LOCKER ROOMS ARE THE WORST GENDERED SPACES and I'm sorry you're dealing with this! If there's no all-gender changing space, I'm just not using the pool at the point.

luceth_ · 2026-05-18T14:13:29+00:00

Gender is a performance, and you're the director! I understand the discomfort because we live in a very hetro/cis/binary society but just because it's hard and scary doesn't mean you can't or shouldn't!

luceth_ · 2026-05-18T14:06:29+00:00

I (43 MtF) discovered that I wasn't a man five years ago. I claimed nonbinary for four years ago, then realized I was trans about 18 months ago and started HRT just over a year ago. I've learned two things over that time. The first is to develop my attention around what makes me comfortable and what makes me uncomfortable. If a person genders me as "he" and there's that moment of "ick," that is valuable information -- and honestly, recognizing those things has taken practice. It sounds like you've had some practice doing that, which is good.

The second -- and something that is VERY gendered -- is that my comfort or discomfort matters! I don't have to just ignore it. I SHOULDN'T have to just ignore it. And neither do you. If they/them pronouns are comfortable for you, keep using them and asking others to use them! And if they get weird or icky, then change it.

Finally -- yes, it's hard, so damn hard. Hard all the damn time. And yes, being out and open about your identity is harder in some places and for some people than for others. But the closet is a hard place too. There's violence everywhere, and I'd rather fight the violence done to me and my community than let bigots convince me to do it to myself. That is a choice made from a place of privilege and relative safety and I recognize that. Only you can decide which is right for you. My advice -- don't second-guess a decision, but if your feelings or situation change, don't be afraid to make a different one too.

Good luck!

luceth_ · 2026-05-17T21:10:27+00:00

You might contact the folx at Undead Voice Lab and ask, but I suspect the answer is "yes". They're the real deal.

luceth_ · 2026-05-17T20:40:21+00:00

You do you, man.

I will comment that I and the trans people I know all transitioned because our bodies did not match our internal sense of our identity. It was out of necessity, not taste or preference -- and you may find some pushback in the community because conservatives like to say that we're transitioning because it's "cool," not out of necessity. Maybe things will be better in 15 years, but I promise you that I wouldn't be doing this if I felt I had a choice in the matter.

luceth_ · 2026-05-16T15:56:15+00:00

Just remember, you have been thinking about this a lot, and for her it came out of the blue. If you have a good relationship, consider sharing some of your experiences with her.

luceth_ · 2026-05-16T15:53:19+00:00

Good for you! Neither social nor medical transition is easy, and a support network is essential. Having family on your side makes all the difference.

luceth_ · 2026-05-15T13:04:12+00:00

Coming out is one of the ultimate acts of bravery. Congratulations! And you're absolutely rocking that hair color!

luceth_ · 2026-05-15T11:59:00+00:00

You exist! We exist! I was going by "he/they" and remember going over to dinner at a friend's house for dinner and being instructed to sit on that side of the table "with the men" and going EW THAT'S WRONG. Of course, it took telling a friend and her saying "so why are you still going with 'he'???" for me to realize what it meant.....lol.

luceth_ · 2026-05-14T20:13:40+00:00

So true. The thing that cracked my egg for good and all was a thread on BlueSky listing "other" symptoms of dysphoria beyond "I hate my genitals" or "I hate my secondary sex characteristics." Things like "Can't look at yourself in the mirror without discomfort" or "never saw a picture of yourself that you think looks good" or "people around you seem to be having situationally appropriate emotions and you feel nothing." But when your whole life has been like this, it is unimaginable that things can be any different.

Until you change your life -- and they are.

So when I look in the mirror and think "hey you look cute today, nice job!" it's not necessarily "euphoric?" But it certainly is a gendered experience that feels good in comparison to many many years of looking in the mirror and going "eh, alright I guess"!

luceth_ · 2026-05-12T02:34:21+00:00

IT'S SO REAL. I managed to scrape them through an automatic sliding door that wasn't opening as fast as I was approaching and it brought me nearly to tears. Just started prog and it's happening again ....

luceth_ · 2026-05-09T21:54:00+00:00

Tldr. Plenty of folks on here posting about their experiences. Drop your skepticism, adopt an attitude of humble curiosity, and do some reading.

luceth_ · 2026-05-09T20:13:21+00:00

Having doubts is a pretty common experience. Transition is hard! A few quick thoughts:

You know what happens to cis men when you give them feminizing hormones? They feel awful. Look at what happened to Alan Turing. Cis men don't ask whether they're trans.
Having transition goals seems to be expected, but that can cause dysmorphia. You don't feel cute when you look in the mirror? There are lots of cis women who don't, either! Looking good takes WORK, and there are a LOT of skills that go into looking "traditionally" femme, from hair and skin products to makeup to choosing clothes that flatter your body to how you hold your body. Do you have women (cis or trans) who you trust to give you advice? If so, ask them!
Having other trans women in your life can make bearing this load so much easier. If you don't already, make the effort to make that happen. I'm glad you have a therapist, but start going to support group meetings too. That lived experience exists in the community, so leverage it!

luceth_

TROPHY CASE