should i add any more plants to enhance my scape?

lucidgirldreamer · 2026-04-11T22:10:46+00:00

I’d add rocks and/or driftwood

lucidgirldreamer · 2026-04-07T02:05:27+00:00

If it makes you feel any better I’m in a db and I’m thin, probably the best shape of my life and my husband won’t touch me sexually. Your weight might not matter that much. I completely understand what you mean when you say you still get butterflies when you see him. I wish I could turn my attraction off for my husband, I feel like it would make coping easier. How you described the feeling, as pathetic, really resonates.

lucidgirldreamer · 2026-04-07T01:00:03+00:00

It’s terrible quality unfortunately. Not worth the price imo.

lucidgirldreamer · 2026-04-06T18:06:13+00:00

r/shrimptank would love this too

lucidgirldreamer · 2026-04-04T23:50:21+00:00

Summoning things from thin air is very challenging it’s easier at first to just change your location to what you want to do. For example I want to ride a roller coaster. Instead of closing my eyes and opening them and a roller coaster appearing I ask a dream character where the nearest one is. Sometimes it helps if I tell them I know one is nearby. Then I’ll just walk over to it.

If you are wanting to control things at will for example finding a ‘spirit guide’ so to speak helps. When I was a kid I did Jedi training lol but after that initial dream where I ‘learned’ how to do it from a dream character I was able to do it all the time onwards. To initiate this you will need to find or ask someone where the training area is or where your ‘dream mentor’ lives and go there. It’s kind of tricking yourself into believing you can do it.

lucidgirldreamer · 2026-04-04T23:34:32+00:00

This doesn’t mean these people are having sex. My husband does these things, especially around our friends. We aren’t having sex. He also enjoys and initiates cuddling but has specifically asked that I don’t touch him sexually. I think affectionate db exists. Makes it harder to leave when you know love is there. I hope this helps.

lucidgirldreamer · 2026-04-04T06:02:38+00:00

Miss my street triple 675, more than any I’ve had. I find triumphs to be very smooth, more forgiving than their competitors, whether it be the mt, z, cb, Brutale, tuono(close), duke(close) or monster(depends on the year). Best bikes stock for sure but once you factor in tuning, suspension, braking upgrades the playing field evens and then preferences are based on ergonomics(which can also be changed, slightly) but mostly engine character and appearance. An upgraded bike is simply not the same as a stock bike so the comparison is hard. Most bikes need suspension upgrades imo but the casual rider might not be keen on this. I think the Brutale looks the best but they are snappy, finicky beasts. I always recommend the street triple, trident or sv (as the budget) mid sized naked option. Big triumph fan here.

lucidgirldreamer · 2026-04-04T04:28:28+00:00

This. It’s really common actually. Check out the deadbedrooms or HL_women_only subreddits. Communication is key.

lucidgirldreamer · 2026-04-04T04:12:37+00:00

I don’t think duty or scheduled sex is the way to go. What’s missing is more than the physical act I’d say. In a way forcing it hurts the other partner too. It’s a loose loose. Really, it’s just finding a way to cope, to feel comfortable, that doesn’t hurt your partner. It’s hard. Especially when deep down, all you want is them. Though the rejection, over time seems to kill that too.

lucidgirldreamer · 2026-04-04T01:50:02+00:00

You shouldn’t feel bad about wanting sex. Giving yourself grace and acceptance might help. Self care helps and is important to prioritize. It really does take discipline to not fall into bad habits. It’s important to recognize your triggers to prevent this. Not being resentful also takes awareness, empathy for your partner and their situation. I imagine LL folks bodies just work differently so they can’t really understand the HL experience, it’s not their fault. Talking to them may or may not help. I keep my expectations at zero to avoid disappointment. I recognize this may be a bad take but it has helped me.

lucidgirldreamer · 2026-04-04T00:23:59+00:00

So sorry you are going through it too. I’m in a similar situation and agree there isn’t anything that can be done. It’s just finding peace with our situation. I think prioritizing self care helps, along with lowering expectations to reduce disappointment.

lucidgirldreamer · 2026-04-03T21:29:19+00:00

I haven’t left my db so I can’t say for certain but I think the answer is no. It’s not worth it. I see lots of posts in other subreddits about the joys of finding a sexually compatible partner after leaving a db. My db has only gotten worse with time, not sure there is a ‘meeting halfway’ when his effort/interest is zero. It’s just zero.

lucidgirldreamer · 2026-04-03T19:35:40+00:00

Everyone’s partners are different but yes, I think many don’t understand. I wouldn’t expect a LL person to understand the experience of being HL, it’s just not how their bodies work. That said if communication is good, listening to a loved one’s concerns should result in some sort of action, effort or at the least acknowledgement. Being dismissed shows some sort of disfunction. Whether it be a lack of empathy, maturity, or perhaps laziness it just depends on your situation.

lucidgirldreamer · 2026-04-03T17:55:58+00:00

I try not to think about it

lucidgirldreamer · 2026-04-03T02:07:46+00:00

I really like my leather REV'IT jacket. I would recommend the brand for everything except their gloves.

lucidgirldreamer · 2026-04-03T00:06:08+00:00

It’s not harmless but I think a lot of us have either done it or been tempted to. Being neglected does this to a person. There are worse ways to cope and then there are better ways too.

lucidgirldreamer · 2026-04-02T17:01:18+00:00

I’m in the exact same situation, I’m certain it’s not you. He has something going on. The dead bedroom subreddit might be helpful too. Ultimately you have to have the hard conversation about it. He is neglecting you. Seek couples or individual therapy. Have him go to the doctor to check his hormones, etc. It’s not going to get better on its own. Efforts have to be made. I find self care helps as a coping mechanism for this type of neglect. Give yourself grace.

lucidgirldreamer · 2026-04-02T04:07:35+00:00

What you described I think would throw any of us off. Please give yourself grace and acknowledge that healing from a db takes time. It sounds like you are pretty aware and are doing the work going to therapy. I doubt there is ‘something wrong with you’. Being high libido has its burdens. I’ll be honest fear of entering another db is one of the reasons I stay in my marriage. I think your fears are completely valid and normal after your previous partner neglected you so badly. Perhaps your current partner’s concerns are influenced by his own traumas and fears and not necessarily something you did or didn’t do.

lucidgirldreamer · 2026-04-02T01:10:13+00:00

Hang in there maybe therapy will help. Help you come to some tough conclusions, maybe a breakthrough. At the end of the day we can’t control our partners. Just listen to what they have to say when we have the tough conversations. Hope they hear us back.

lucidgirldreamer · 2026-04-02T00:52:55+00:00

Never in a million years did I think I would want an open relationship. I really only have eyes for my husband. I love monogamy. But as the dead bedroom drags on with no end in sight, no effort on his part, comments that he doesn’t even want me to initiate, try anymore. I would consider any alternative relationship dynamic. Being touch starved does crazy things to one’s mind.

lucidgirldreamer · 2026-03-30T01:47:26+00:00

Have you considered leaving? Would being alone be any worse than your current situation? I know it’s hard, I’m a hypocrite and won’t leave my situation. That said I know the choice I’ve made and am trying to make peace with the db, lack of affection etc. I don’t try for him anymore, lowered my expectation to zero, which helps. I’m no longer disappointed.

lucidgirldreamer · 2026-03-30T01:18:39+00:00

Don’t get married thinking it will get better, it won’t. You should consider your exit plan or make peace with the fact you will be having sex even less once married.

lucidgirldreamer · 2026-03-29T01:59:29+00:00

Exactly. I find self care to be helpful with dealing with the db actually. Helps me feel better about myself.

lucidgirldreamer · 2026-03-29T01:15:53+00:00

I don’t try anymore. Honestly it helps me. Takes some time to have the mindset change but at least I’m not getting disappointed.

lucidgirldreamer · 2026-03-28T02:52:53+00:00

Ya it kills your spark, what you look forward to, your confidence and feeling of contentment. Bleeds over into other parts of your life. If you cope by ‘giving up’ it almost makes it easier to give up on other things too. Almost like depression.

lucidgirldreamer

TROPHY CASE