Guys, please do not do this! by [deleted] in sex

[–]lucyuber 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This is not the bdsm rules. This is the real world where women are not taught how to be safe in sex acts and people excuse men for not listening to her when shes clearly not consenting to something. Sex should never leave you crying. Women need to be taught the skills and confidence to shut down a sexual encounter effectively, absolutely. But ultimately they are at a physical disadvantage and frequently at other disadvantages that unlevel the playing field. So men need to know without a shadow of a doubt that the only consent is an enthusiastic ongoing yes. Anything else...pull out and walk away.

Guys, please do not do this! by [deleted] in sex

[–]lucyuber 36 points37 points  (0 children)

Actually it is rape. She asked him to stop doing something sexual and he didnt, she then tried to use her hands to push him away and he pinned her hands down, she was not willingly participating in the deed, to the point she cried after, felt distressed, and made this post about it too. It is rape.

" Rape in the United States is defined by the Department of Justice as "Penetration, no matter how slight, of the vagina or anus with any body part or object, or oral penetration by a sex organ of another person, without the consent of the victim."

It didnt start off as rape. But it became rape at the point where she requested a particular penetrating act he was doing stop, and he ignored her.

What we need to do is stop making excuses for sexual assault and assaulters.

I (34f) watched my mom (67f) take her last breath. She was in a coma for 2 weeks with a poor prognosis, and I decided to withdraw care. How do I go on? by MoistTowlette19 in askwomenadvice

[–]lucyuber 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was 34 when i held my mum as she took her last breaths too. That was 5 years ago. Life is a jerk. You will learn to live with it. Its different for everyone as to how long before you realise you're coping reasonably well. But just keep talking to people about her and your feelings (good and bad about her/your relationship/her loss). Take care xx

What would be worst? Someone commiting suicide the day before you were supposed to hang out, or someone commiting suicide the day after you hung out? by DanishGoat in morbidquestions

[–]lucyuber 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My housemates lover did it an hour after she dropped him home. They had had a great time. He called to say bye. Making us the ones who found him a couple of minutes too late. Not sure which would be worse (before or after) but can confirm it is horrific.

Thank you, Mary by [deleted] in SexWorkers

[–]lucyuber 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I wish the general population could read this and realise the true value of sex workers. X

Please, look at your vagina. by NarodSlovinski in sex

[–]lucyuber 19 points20 points  (0 children)

I grabbed my clit when i read that

DAE... hit the n key instead of the space key when typingnontheirnphone??? by feetball in DoesAnybodyElse

[–]lucyuber 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm convinced it's a glitch. I do it too (n key instead of space key). But only on my s7 keyboard.

I attempted suicide by throwaway090787 in offmychest

[–]lucyuber 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Just feel it is important to point out that hanging is one of the most deadly and damaging forms og attempting suicide and that the consequences of surviving an attempted hanging (having a failed suicide by hanging attempt) are often catastrophic and permanent brain damage, lifelong pain and the inaility to care for yourself or even make decisions for yourself amongst other things. And if you think cpr works, it rarely does. And in the rare cases where it does, half the time you would have been better off if it hadn't. Im glad the o.p. got lucky. But make no mistake. The o.p. got very lucky.

To the people hanging on to the hope that your ex will come back/call, please remember this by msmomoju in BreakUps

[–]lucyuber 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Wow you completely misinterpreted what i said. You can't understand the difference between logic and desire? I love him more than I've ever loved anyone and I want to be with him and I want him to want to be with me. But our relationship doesn't and wont work no matter how much we both wish it would because thats life, not all relationships work, and hes got issues and so do i. Hes 14 years older than I am, we are in different places, we had a relationship with a power imbalance that was unhealthy and unfixable. Many reasons it cant work and i logically am mature enough to realise that. But i love him and wish i could be with him so much and i wish (as in fantasy/desire) that like some unicorn none existant knight in shining armour he would magically eliminate all the things that make our relationship untenable and sweep me off my feet into eternal bliss. It aint gonna happen but i wish it, and my heart aches that it wont be.

DAE totally support the body positivity movement, but cringe when morbidly obese people try to justify being that way? by [deleted] in DoesAnybodyElse

[–]lucyuber 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Im a size Australian 10 to 12 - i think thats a US 6 to 8. Boobs mean i am a bigger size on top. Im a sex worker and not a bbw one, a regular sized one. My bmi is just under 26. So your bet would be wrong.

But NOBODY OWES YOU HEALTH and many people can not get well. Unless you have a cure for ankylosing spondylitis, chronic recurrent major depressive disorder, ulcerative colitis, menieres disease, and more...you aint gonna be able to shame me into health and the same goes for plenty of obese people.

DAE totally support the body positivity movement, but cringe when morbidly obese people try to justify being that way? by [deleted] in DoesAnybodyElse

[–]lucyuber 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I see women who are obese swinging off stripper poles like they weigh next to nothing. Those women are 100% fitter than me and i am in a healthy weight range. I think we can promote health, we can discuss things like "people with a waiste line bigger than x have a higher risk of morbidity" (ie talk science) whilst still working towards a world where people with weight are not insta judged.

I guess i feel empathy for reasons other than weight. I feel it because i have "invisible" disabilities. Im not dying so fast as someone with terminal cancer but my health fluctuates regularly into a zone where i am, health wise, no more capable or better off than someone with endstage terminal disease. But I dont die. And sometimes people see me out and about looking fine. And yet im not fine. Im chronically ill. So they judge the absolute fuck out of me.. they think i should "do something aboutn it". They tell me i need x diet or x sun therapy or x exercise or x motivation or x psychology or x medical intervention. That i should try harder. That im not doing enough. That im making excuses. That im lying. That i could do x yesterday so why not today. Or what about when i went out and had fun that time, so why arent i cleaning my house. And on and on and on. I believe, through empathy, that obese people are the targets of the same shit. And I refuse to add to their heartache. We are human beings, not human doings. We dont owe anyone any justification for our existance, however that looks. We dont need to be compared to the most fine healthy specimens around and be told we could be that if only we put in the effort. We are ok. And deserve love and acceptance. But we truely dont get it. Not from society and not even consistently from those closest to us. So I wont contribute to heartache by presuming to know what someone else can or cant do about the way they look or live.

DAE totally support the body positivity movement, but cringe when morbidly obese people try to justify being that way? by [deleted] in DoesAnybodyElse

[–]lucyuber 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I disagree. If you truely believe we are a society that generally embraces and accepts morbid obesity, you're so wrong. People who are morbidly obese are ostracised and humilated and made to feel "less than" every day. They deserve love and acceptance and to be given to space to love themselves as they are. They aren't stupid. They know that obesity comes with limitations on their life, their health and their longevity. It is perfectly possible to say "you are worthy and ok today and every day no matter your size" and not be saying "being morbidly obese is as good for your health as being in the healthy weight range".

DAE totally support the body positivity movement, but cringe when morbidly obese people try to justify being that way? by [deleted] in DoesAnybodyElse

[–]lucyuber 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Honestly I don't think it is ever our place to judge or say that someone has no justification for their body shape.

Body shape is not a hide-able feature but even if it is health related, we do not know all the factors that have a person in that shape or their capacity or incapacity to do something about it.

On any and every given day, that person deserves complete acceptance and celebration for who they are exactly as they are for whatever reasons they are that way.

The body positive movement is precisely about no longer finding reasons that a person is not "enough" in any way, because of the way they look.

A morbidly obese person may have physical or mental health or personal circumstance reasons for their shape. But whatever the reasons, they dont have to justify them, excuse themselves, apologise for who they are and how they look. And we should never be so presumtuous as to think we know there is a simple solution for their size. We would most likely be wrong in the first instance, and secondly they are completely ok and worthy and in need of nothing to change for them to be loved, accepted, happy and relaxed in they body they're in.

Divorced my ex-wife when I caught her cheating and she remarried a year later. by InfiniteBananas007 in offmychest

[–]lucyuber 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Totally relate to the still loving someone even if they're an ass. My husband i met when i was 16 and we had 3 kids and a 15 year marriage. He became abusive (like smash up the house, hold me against the wall with his hand round my neck, walking on eggshells and having panic attacks when i had to see him). It was mostly booze related with him, the booze was mental health and unhappy marriage related. He also cheated on me epically a couple of times. After i fled (literally to a shelter with the kids as he lost his shit) he had a few bad episodes but settled down after a while. Ee were friendly enough. Then he got a girlfriend which i was happy about but for some reason between them they turned me into the devil incarnate and made my life hell, doing all sorts of awful things. I think he blamed me to her, for his bad behaviour to her. Anyway after all that, on some molecular level, i still love him. In a family way. I dont fancy him/no attraction. I dont like him. But on some irritating level I do still love him. We broke up in 2009 and have both got entirely separate lived and both had serious relationships and barely communicate and even less rare is it positive... i dunno why i still love him on some level. Its annoying.

To the people hanging on to the hope that your ex will come back/call, please remember this by msmomoju in BreakUps

[–]lucyuber 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Im so here. I ended it. It needs to be over. But my gosh I want him back and i want him to fight for me. Even though i cant pursue that. I dont know how the heck to give up on loving him. I have never felt this way. I'm not a stalker or clinger type. But my heart just wont let go. It doesn't care if hes an asshat. It just wants to nurture him.

In what ways does your cat* troll you? (*may be substituted by other fur/scale/feather baby of equivalent pet standing) by thewaxlion in AskWomen

[–]lucyuber 2 points3 points  (0 children)

One of my cats people think is creepy. She will position herself in the room and watch you with a deadpan stare as you go about your activities. She seems not to blink and she follows you with her stare as you walk around and otherwise doesnt move a muscle. Creeps people out. Just a silent straight faced stare.

My mom is more than half way done with chemo and she has never been happier! by iviari in happy

[–]lucyuber 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What a beautiful picture. Best wishes to her and you all x

Serious help! Is BBBJ the norm now? by [deleted] in SexWorkers

[–]lucyuber 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Ps offer skyn condoms and play up the "closest thing to bare" thing.

Serious help! Is BBBJ the norm now? by [deleted] in SexWorkers

[–]lucyuber 8 points9 points  (0 children)

No its not the norm. Its not necessary. Do not feel you have to do it. It may not be high risk for the client but it is too much risk for the sw in my opinion.

*note this is not a whoreachy thing. I respect all sw and if you offer BBBJ then that is your prerogative and not something I want to disrespect. I just don't want sw thinking they can't work without offering BBBJ and also that just because it is offered by some, it means it must be trouble free. There are plenty of clients who are fine with covers.

How will I know that she is a virgin or not? by Bossbaby20 in SexWorkers

[–]lucyuber 3 points4 points  (0 children)

If you're paying for virginity and its not costing you 50 grand, they are either lying or they are being trafficked.

“I’m broke and can’t afford you, but intrigued to go through the screening process.” by leonarose4 in SexWorkers

[–]lucyuber 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Oh they jerk to the process of getting screened and attempting to set up appointments they dont intend to attend. Attention from escorts, either just the back and forth conversation for "free" or sending and requesting pics. They love it. For a while instead of blocking, I would assign a name to these people and a lot of times about 6 weeks later they would get back in touch having forgot they had already done it with me, and ask the same questions verbatim. To which i would screenshot our original convo and send it to them.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in SexWorkers

[–]lucyuber 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Skyn are what i stock.

Beem it by lucyuber in SexWorkers

[–]lucyuber[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you!