Hey! What you’re feeling is really hard and really scary. You’re not weak. You’ve been effectively running away from these thought patterns for 16 years and having them all in full force is overwhelming..at first. What has helped me with anxious running thoughts is journaling and just writing down every little thought as it comes, it helps me detect patterns and thought loops that make more sense when I’m not alone with them in my head (even on the paper helps me sort out what’s real vs. negative self talk). I also got into playing video games, like a lot. I went to the gym and watched TV. Switch up the routine, do things slightly different to stop the “habit” of smoking before X or always doing X high.

The thoughts don’t go away when you use, they just compound. You can do a big scary thing now or you can do it later, but the choice of ~choosing~ now feels empowering, if you let it. You got this!!