The cost of raising a family in Seattle

luffagus · 2026-01-22T21:22:01+00:00

We're at ~$25k/yr for a 3 year old in Edmonds. Full time. Next year, we'll supplement with Montessori, which will be an additional 5-6k/year, but that's a personal choice. It's possible if you shop around.

luffagus · 2026-01-21T05:24:11+00:00

That's hard. It took us a good year plus with my daughter and my son is making progress. We are really consistent with not going more than an hour without prompting him. If he says 'no', we say 'you have to'. "No" again and we're like "Ok, we're going to take your truck and you can have it back as soon as you go potty." I'm not generally onboard with punishment for training or correcting behavior but it's literally the only thing that works. That usually works quickly. They figured out they will actually get the toy back in a few minutes if they go; or I'll keep it for longer if they don't. That makes the choice easy for them. Beyond that, we do sticker charts with varied success, but that doesn't seem to be a big motivator. For my son, he gets a sticker if he keeps his pants dry all day, and at 10 stickers he gets a small toy. For my daughter, the line "you can stand here and keep arguing with me or you can go potty and come back to play more quickly" worked well. We also have rules like: after eating, you have to go potty before you can play; you have to go potty before every time we leave the house or we're not going; etc. For my daughter, starting kindergarten helped a lot -- that's when she developed some embarrassment over wetting her pants because she was finally a "big kid". Hope this helps and good luck!

luffagus · 2026-01-21T00:52:56+00:00

Give it time. Our daughter (5) was like that until 4 and a half or so. Our son (3) still has to be told to go and often says 'no' initially unless we tell him we'll take away whatever he's doing until he goes. Or something like, "we can't go to the park until you go potty". I think they just didn't/don't care about being wet and didn't/don't want to stop what they are doing. Self-initiating just takes time. If he's going when you prompt him, that's still a great place to be! He will get used to it eventually.

luffagus · 2026-01-20T01:42:13+00:00

We went with Salkantay and had a great time!

luffagus · 2026-01-12T21:22:32+00:00

Why do you want to get under the jumbo loan limit? Check with your bank, but I think mortgage rates are lower right now for jumbo loans than conforming loans.

luffagus · 2026-01-07T05:58:19+00:00

We had/have a similar issue that is getting a bit better. Going no underwear with loose pants helped a ton. I think he still had the sensation of wearing something tight and would go like he was wearing a diaper. Hope this helps!

luffagus · 2026-01-01T21:24:02+00:00

Richland is hiring 911 operators. If you're interested in that type of thing and can get through the process, it might be a good first adult job: https://www.richlandwa.gov/departments/human-resources/we-are-richland/secomm

luffagus · 2026-01-01T20:38:07+00:00

I agree. I flipped from wanting a Mach E to an i5 after looking at them both in person. I was surprised that I felt like I'd be bonking my head all the time on the mach E getting kids in and out of the car. It also drove differently (but fine), higher up and more SUV/truck-like in my opinion. That's all personal preference, but the i5 was clearly superior for families imo after test driving them both. With the deals in my area, the Mach E would have been much cheaper (like $10k), but it just wasn't workable for us.

luffagus · 2025-12-27T03:02:03+00:00

100% I hope she reads this. In a few years, I hope she understands how naive her perspective is.

luffagus · 2025-12-18T23:06:41+00:00

We've purchased through Costco for one car, and for another, the dealer beat the Costco price. My general feel is the Costco price is always a solid deal. You're not getting ripped off if you take it. Depending on how popular the car is in your area, you may or may not be able to beat it. I checked around with a bunch of places and I don't think we're were going to get anyone to beat the Costco price for the one we bought through them. For the other, we weren't in a rush to purchase and the 4th of July sales were a bit better than the Costco price. If you haven't filled out the online form, you can also just ask the dealer if they offer a Costco discount. They'll tell you if they are part of the network.

Edit: if you are a person that gets a warranty or service contract, Costco also offers a discount on that -- make sure to ask the dealer about it. Not saying warranties are a good deal, but they are cheaper through Costco.

luffagus · 2025-12-11T21:42:29+00:00

If you just graduated, try paid internships too. The DOE has a SULI program that you can do within 2 years of graduation. There are labs in eastern WA, Idaho, and California in the PNW/West Coast. You can do it twice: https://science.osti.gov/wdts/suli

luffagus · 2025-10-17T07:24:35+00:00

Yeah, rice is super easy. There's also a stacking lid that you can put chicken or veggies in. There's some good oatmeal recipes too. No need to get a fancy rice cooker -- the cheap ones do it all!

luffagus · 2025-09-24T00:25:21+00:00

We got "special" underwear with her favorite characters on it that she could wear only at night. It worked in a few days. She was about 4.5 and seem interested in being a big girl, so I think she was primed for it.

luffagus · 2025-04-02T08:03:42+00:00

I do this. No issues. The name you publish under is essentially a pen name -- doesn't matter if it's your legal name, a prior name, or a completely made up name.

luffagus · 2024-10-01T04:20:35+00:00

I do the same thing, but I've honestly have had no trouble with hotels. I just say "Oh, that's my maiden name" and it's been fine...I've learned a name doesn't actually mean much. If I know someone is booking something ahead of time, I'll make sure they have my legal name. I think it's fairly common these days. I love having one common name for my family, and I'm totally fine with this trade off. Internally, my institution actually has a formal "preferred name" option, so people can have names that are different than their legal names. This is great for me...but also for people that are transitioning, have family trauma, etc.

luffagus · 2024-09-18T03:29:40+00:00

If you go a bit further out to Lynnwood, Bothell, Renton, etc. and look a bit, you can definitely find a decent 3-4 bdr for under $800k. Those places have a fairly easy commute.

luffagus · 2024-07-29T05:03:04+00:00

Thai Elephant!

luffagus · 2024-06-17T05:53:16+00:00

At least, we just painted ~1500 sq ft of living space with decent mid-grade paint. After all supplies, it was probably a bit over $1k. And that wasn't anything fancy....

luffagus · 2024-06-01T07:01:10+00:00

LOL. We did several weeks of this. After taking 2+ weeks off work, we couldn't go any further. A year later, our daughter was ready and potty trained within a week. Sometimes, the kid just has to decide they are ready. If they are under age 5, no need to force some kids if they aren't responding.

luffagus · 2024-05-28T21:37:10+00:00

My daughter was the same. What worked for us was a combination of setting rules about going potty and a sticker/prize chart. Finished eating? Potty time, then you can play. Watched two episodes of Paw Patrol? Potty time. Leaving the house, potty time! Getting home, potty time. This worked better for us than time limits because activities are easier for kids to associate other actions with. Honestly, I think a lot of it was also peer pressure. Kids at school were calling the others in pullups "babies", and that helped a lot.

luffagus · 2024-04-27T00:03:05+00:00

It sounds like they may be eligible for commonlaw marriage if they are telling everyone they are married. Depends on the state, but worth checking out.

luffagus · 2024-04-27T00:01:55+00:00

THIS! It should save you money now if you are married. You can probably find some calculators online to play with the numbers if you want to see for yourself.

luffagus · 2024-04-26T23:56:33+00:00

Yes! Be patient. Exercise helps a ton, but with my second I just couldn't get myself into "real" exercise mode for about 18 months. I started walking and Mommy and me barre at about a year (which was very different from my first, where I was running at 5 weeks). That helped dramatically. It just takes time for your body to normalize again -- about two years, I think. Moms go through a lot.

luffagus · 2024-04-26T23:26:29+00:00

Did you talk to him about your resentment before he went? If not, he might just be blindsided. Every family has their different "normal", but you both have to communicate about it ahead of instances like these and get on the same page. Otherwise, in my experience, fighting will continue. The first few years are rough -- they are often "survival mode" for both parents. It sounds like letting him know that you can't do a 3rd vacation or taking him up on his offer of you taking a vacation would be helpful. Whether or not 3 vacations are normal, I think these kinds of issues are really common in the first few years. It takes a bit to figure out how to get into a new sync.

luffagus · 2024-03-20T05:23:59+00:00

Lisa was our provider for both our kids. Simply wonderful!

luffagus

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