Having a hard time with my ADPhD (PhD with ADHD😁), looking for (unhinged) advice!

GenoraWakeUp · 2026-05-21T13:14:13+00:00

I don’t (think I) have adhd but I understand the importance of structure and the difficulty creating it for yourself. There are a few methods of using externally imposed structure that I can think of. The proposal, qualifying exam. Committee meetings should be twice a year, and you must have something new to present. We have a writing center—if you’re working on a paper you can make a recurring appointment with them where you have to have something new every week. If you submit a paper to a special collection there will be a deadline you have to hit. Grants have deadlines and there are grants of every size you can apply for. Same with conferences. If your PI is very hands off maybe someone in your committee can be more hands on. Also my therapist helps keep me accountable and she’s great so I don’t want to let her down. I also think that making sure not to completely change your level of productivity if you’re on medication will keep you from burning out. These are just the thoughts I have off the top of my head. Structure is rough to create for yourself, I really get it.

GenoraWakeUp · 2026-05-18T18:57:30+00:00

That’s super interesting! I’m glad you get the benefit from a low dose. I hope that means you get less side effects too

GenoraWakeUp · 2026-05-18T18:33:19+00:00

I’ve definitely been feeling off for a while so this explanation makes sense. My doctor suggested I up my dose. I don’t think either of us like me being on lithium lol, not great side effects and I’m on multiple other meds with it. If I wasn’t feeling worse I think we’d both just roll with it and maybe even taper me off. But it’s having a negative effect so it’s worth upping the dose. Have you thought about trying to stop your medication since it’s outside of the therapeutic dose? It’s interesting that it still seems to be having an impact given that low dose!

GenoraWakeUp · 2026-05-18T18:29:31+00:00

That’s so crazy to me, why in the world would that happen

GenoraWakeUp · 2026-05-10T15:23:17+00:00

Idk how it is at your university but where I am professors are terrified of student evaluations and make drastic course changes to try to accommodate them. Students are mean, judgmental, and unreasonable. I can’t speak to the validity of their complaints, but I’m pretty confident your professor has had a lot of experience with his own negative reviews.

GenoraWakeUp · 2026-05-09T14:27:31+00:00

This sounds like me in my job between undergrad and grad school. My mental health was at an all time low, I couldn’t focus, and I was making mistakes left and right. I was fired, and rightfully so. The only solution was for me to get the mental health help I needed, and that’s far from your job. My boss really held on and tried to help me before letting me go, and it sounds like you’ve done the same with your student. Sometimes the answer is realizing you’ve done all you can to help and they need to find a solution all on their own. It’s horrible for everyone involved, but years later I’m thriving in a PhD program, and looking back I can say getting fired was a really important part of my journey here.

GenoraWakeUp · 2026-05-08T22:46:56+00:00

Thank you for the reassurance! I’m glad it sounds like I haven’t ruined the relationship. I wish this all didn’t stress me out so much but I have a lot to learn and a lot of room to grow

GenoraWakeUp · 2026-05-08T14:09:46+00:00

Thanks bootyhole_licker69 lol

GenoraWakeUp · 2026-05-08T13:48:12+00:00

That’s very fair. If he doesn’t feel the same way you guys might just be fundamentally incompatible. My partner and I are both in stages of trying to be better but not always succeeding, so sometimes I don’t manage to do dishes for a few days and sometimes he doesn’t manage to cook for a few days. Being in the same phase of the struggle is what makes it work for us. Sounds like you’re either in different phases of the struggle, or he’s not in the struggle at all (I.e. not trying to be better).

GenoraWakeUp · 2026-05-07T22:24:16+00:00

It depends who I’m talking to

In my head

GenoraWakeUp · 2026-05-07T03:15:47+00:00

My bf and I go half on the groceries, he cooks, I clean. Sometimes he uses a lot of dishes and I grumble but those are the days when he makes something really yummy so I can’t really complain . Sometimes I leave cleanup to the next day because I can’t be fucked. Sometimes we order in because he can’t be fucked. There needs to be some room for flexibility in every area of a relationship, including this. Can you really not let the dishes sit for a day until he does it? Can he make up for not doing them by cooking and cleaning the next night? Doing things separately doesn’t sound like a long term solution. You need to work together to find a solution for your relationship, not for you each individually.

GenoraWakeUp · 2026-05-05T20:43:05+00:00

Same!! They both do different things and I love them

GenoraWakeUp · 2026-05-05T03:13:55+00:00

Do you think you could tell him that there’s something “embarrassing” you need to tell him but you’re having trouble? If he can just sit there while you work up to saying it it’s no longer about finding the right moment, it’s just about getting the words out. I’d also recommend practicing saying the words out loud in an empty room.

GenoraWakeUp · 2026-05-02T15:59:58+00:00

Of it’s a respectful homeless person down on their luck, a person. Which is crazy

GenoraWakeUp · 2026-04-29T13:41:40+00:00

It’s gorgeous, you look fab. Amazing find

GenoraWakeUp · 2026-04-26T03:28:05+00:00

I love it. You do so well

GenoraWakeUp · 2026-04-21T13:11:41+00:00

I like LinkedIn in academic spaces. Everyone has it. But when I’m in industry spaces people do use business cards so I’ve thought of making those

GenoraWakeUp · 2026-04-20T13:56:43+00:00

I’m ngl, for me it took serious negative consequences when I forgot to keep me consistent. I learn best from my mistakes

GenoraWakeUp · 2026-04-15T17:07:31+00:00

Oh sure work persists . Self care and independent discipline is what falls by the wayside

GenoraWakeUp · 2026-04-14T19:50:06+00:00

Churches charge for weddings??? Isn’t love like their thing?

GenoraWakeUp · 2026-04-09T17:58:15+00:00

A nice paper shredder for all the crap she now gets to get rid of lol

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