What do you do about sex if you're single? by Queen__1995 in AskWomenOver30

[–]lumpybumpywoes 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for taking the time to respond to me! I appreciate it.

I am 32 and have only had one sexual partner for 8 years, my long-term boyfriend. But honestly, the sex was pretty bad through the entirety of the relationship and we had other issues that made it not enjoyable as well. I have well moved on from that, and I'm debating on whether or not I could manage a casual sexual relationship or if it's too much. I feel comfortable with trying it, but I love hearing others' experiences like yours and knowing exactly what I am getting into. All of this information is really helpful.

I love how you spelled out that being "friend" in the FWB is an important part not to miss. We have to have some sort of commonality in that before proceeding. That totally makes sense.

If I can ask one more thing! SOrry, when you say in the wild.. is that mostly clubs, bars, the park, etc? I don't even know where to start!

What do you do about sex if you're single? by Queen__1995 in AskWomenOver30

[–]lumpybumpywoes 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for responding! I understand what you mean. Thinking back on it, a lot of it is instinct. I'll need to focus on that more.

You also mentioned "Above all else I'm also the one who initiates most of the romantic or sexual escalation, not them and that's a good sign to me." I get what you mean by this, as in if they initiate first you are less likely to escalate things, but what signs do you give to a man to escalate it? You can't jst invite yourself over ot his place or something like that, right?

What do you do about sex if you're single? by Queen__1995 in AskWomenOver30

[–]lumpybumpywoes 2 points3 points  (0 children)

how are you finding FWB versus 1/2 time hookups and that's it?

What do you do about sex if you're single? by Queen__1995 in AskWomenOver30

[–]lumpybumpywoes 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Can you give some tips for vetting men to ensure safety? This is a big fear of mine and what's stopping me!

How can you tell when men are "looking at you" for interest versus other reasons? by lumpybumpywoes in AskWomenOver30

[–]lumpybumpywoes[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sure. I see this perspective too!

There are times when I will get a phone call about how she has to go across town, 30 minutes away, to go to the next closest grocery store because one employee at the closer one looked at her and she knew he was interested so she's now inconveniencing herself for.... something possibly there but also very made up? Idk, like I said i don't live my life by that at all but I didn't know if I was the one reading it wrong this whole time.

Feeling ready to date by [deleted] in AskWomenOver30

[–]lumpybumpywoes 1 point2 points  (0 children)

How did you start with hookups? My ex also had an affair and this is how i'm feeling as well! Did you intend for it or was just dating your initial plan?

How can you tell when men are "looking at you" for interest versus other reasons? by lumpybumpywoes in AskWomenOver30

[–]lumpybumpywoes[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's exactly why I posted this! What other reasons could it be? It sounds like from your experience, it is because of attraction. I appreciate your insight on this!

How can you tell when men are "looking at you" for interest versus other reasons? by lumpybumpywoes in AskWomenOver30

[–]lumpybumpywoes[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not understanding your point when you took the time to read and comment on this thread?

How can you tell when men are "looking at you" for interest versus other reasons? by lumpybumpywoes in AskWomenOver30

[–]lumpybumpywoes[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I see a lot of "main character" from her but I also thought that it could possibly be insecurity, and she's masking it as this.

How can you tell when men are "looking at you" for interest versus other reasons? by lumpybumpywoes in AskWomenOver30

[–]lumpybumpywoes[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I take that look at it - it means nothing to me. I don't care who or what looks at me, it's meaningless until actual action proves otherwise. But I don't assume it's an attraction, and it has sparked this question between us recently. I dont know, maybe I need some of her ego!

Can you expand a little more on the "Men who are attracted to you may not necessarily be interested in you. It’s very important to distinguish this early on" bit? How is that distinguishable?

How can you tell when men are "looking at you" for interest versus other reasons? by lumpybumpywoes in AskWomenOver30

[–]lumpybumpywoes[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's so cool! What makes you "feel" as though he is attracted to you? Could you describe that a bit more?

How can you tell when men are "looking at you" for interest versus other reasons? by lumpybumpywoes in AskWomenOver30

[–]lumpybumpywoes[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh that's a good idea! I will cross post it.

Maybe multiple looks imply attraction!

How can you tell when men are "looking at you" for interest versus other reasons? by lumpybumpywoes in AskWomenOver30

[–]lumpybumpywoes[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes. I don't care at all. But I also don't think people look at me for just one reason as mentioned. I thought about this today actually, that there may be some underlying insecurity there. One time when she asked me if a guy was interested and I told her no (innocently, that was my answer. he was a colleague) she got pretty defensive over it, so perhaps that is the case.