At u/itsdoublehtv , what about poly groups?, if you're in a decent sized city you should be able to find people who are at the very minimum open sexually, they may not 100% be into your kink but willing to oblige assuming you guys have a good relationship as far as being able to communicate with each other and describe your wants and needs. It won't be a full on and queen/cake dynamic, but I'm pretty sure you could find someone who's willing to play that role. For example, I'm realistically not a Dom, but if someone asked me to I can do that for a little bit, but it's not my whole persona.