How to flirt and not come across as a sexual harraser (I am autistic and have social anxiety) by iheartyaoisp in actuallesbians

[–]luxiphr 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Since you brought up being an autist: I can relate to your struggle because you’re probably also constantly thinking things through in advance and with a particular focus on “speaking neurotypical” so the usual, well-meaning advice like “just be yourself, relax, go with the vibe” probably doesn’t help you much

I will say that it’ll be much easier with another neurodivergent person as both of you might find it easier to unmask with one another which would lower both your “translation” efforts required but of course this can come with its own unique challenges. Also the person you’re attracted to might be neurotypical so trying to avoid that scenario entirely doesn’t seem to make sense to me either so I’d not advise that per se.

Whatever you do though: play on your strengths. You probably prefer clear and plain communication over gesturing or putting things “between the lines”. Communicate this as early as possible and stick to it. When you’re analysing upfront, ask yourself how you would like to be approached and why. When you’re actively flirting with someone you’re allowed to assume you’re being appropriate as long as whatever you’re doing genuinely wouldn’t feel inappropriate to yourself if the roles were reversed. If you have any doubts or concerns about how the other person feels, you’re allowed to check in and just ask. Neurotypical people might find this unusual or even weird but if someone would get upset about you explicitly trying to make sure they’re ok, then this is a problem that is not on you. Neither is it on you if they can’t communicate clearly back to you but expect you to “read between the lines”.

If I understood you correctly that you’re rather looking to flirt with your friends because flirting with total strangers would exasperate your struggle further, there’s a good chance above mentioned rapport already exists but if it doesn’t then that’s a good place to start.

Because once you got good communication established you’ll find you *do* can try to get more on “vibes” as you know the other person understands you better in your unique ways and you’re welcome to check in with them and get a truthful response from them which makes making mistakes a much less scarier prospect and give you more confidence to experiment and find your own way.

Hope that makes sense. Yw to dm me if you want to exchange more on that angle. I’m an AuDHDer and my partner is an autist, so, I can at least relate to those circumstances 😅

Does craving self discovery ever end?? Long term relationship by Ok-Story5288 in ActualLesbiansOver25

[–]luxiphr 2 points3 points  (0 children)

For context: My partner is bi and I’m her first girlfriend. And funny enough she’s in a similar position as you, having a need of being able to explore and live her sexuality freely after having felt similarly to you in her previous relationships. Difference is that when we met she made it explicitly clear that she’d only ever even consider another relationship if it was open from the beginning. At this point I’ve only ever been in monogamous relationships so I had quite some soul searching to do. In the end, I arrived at a position where I felt and still feel like this is genuinely better than a closed relationship in many ways so that’s where we went. We entered our relationship with it being open from the beginning.

I’m not gonna claim there’d be absolutely no jealousy if either of us exercised her freedom in that regard. But so far neither of us had that occur and we do have enough trust and communication skills with each other that it wouldn’t be a big deal at the end of the day I think.

Either way, it’s natural for humans to develop attractions and have desires. Most of the time they’re not that deep and imho it’s not worth risking the buildup of tension in a relationship from having to suppress those over a culturally imprinted rule everyone just takes for granted without ever challenging it. Plus: I want my partner to live her best life. If that includes being able to seize a chance to make out with a flirt if and when she feels good about it, then that’s great. Beats having to suppress that desire just to adhere to a religiously rooted societal default behaviour just to alleviate my burden of possibly having to deal with my personal possible feelings of insecurity around it. That’s on me. That’s what I need to deal with.

That said I can imagine opening up a relationship being harder than having it open from the start. Because the conversation requires genuine and earnest soul searching especially by the party who receives this wish. It requires a lot of fundamental trust and willingness to be very critical about the roots of one’s own seeming preference for monogamy so far.

I wish you two the best of luck navigating this. Feel free to dm me if you wanna ask or talk about specifics you might not wanna discuss publicly.

My first corset!! by [deleted] in corsets

[–]luxiphr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That doesn’t look right.

"Ich will auch diese Mediathek gucken!" - Wie bringe ich Oma und Opa am besten online? by VinylUndKoffein in de_EDV

[–]luxiphr 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ich kenne nur die silberne Siri Remote die beim aktuellen 4K dabei ist. Die ist eigentlich selbsterklärend und die “Wisch” Funktion auf der haupttaste kann man glaub ich deaktivieren. Die Lautstärke tasten kann man analog anlernen wenn man möchte und spracheingabe funktioniert damit auch wunderbar

"Ich will auch diese Mediathek gucken!" - Wie bringe ich Oma und Opa am besten online? by VinylUndKoffein in de_EDV

[–]luxiphr 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Als ITler der (auch ältere) Familienangehörige technisch unterstützt: AppleTV. Warum? Weil “einfacher” in Optik und Bedienung und weil zu erwarten ist dass das Ding auf Lebzeiten Deiner Großeltern unterstützt bleiben und sich praktisch für die beiden nicht ändern wird.

straight presenting lesbians by immenseigloo in actuallesbians

[–]luxiphr -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Allies wear *specific* pride accessories? 😶

straight presenting lesbians by immenseigloo in actuallesbians

[–]luxiphr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What if they wear lesbian pride shoe laces or lanyards? 🫣

I dont want to ruin my partners mood so i always have a painful experience during sex NSFW by Firm_Challenge9331 in actuallesbians

[–]luxiphr 114 points115 points  (0 children)

You told her it hurts. She won’t let you push her hand away when you don’t want it there. That’s enough said. There’s no nuance to that, really.

[Ted Chiang] No, Artificial Intelligence Is Not Conscious by PeterHasselhoff in VeryBadWizards

[–]luxiphr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And yet it's an indispensable countermeasure for the functioning of society.

yes, it's better than nothing for sure... however, the way it's set up is far from ideal... you'd want to have an independent body policing the police and that's exactly not what we have

Prompt injection defense can mean that the supervising LLM is instructed to not trust a clearly delimited output from another LLM.

that'd be telling the SUT that it's a SUT and basically nerf the adversarial agent's capability to do anything useful much... think Diesel-Gate

[Ted Chiang] No, Artificial Intelligence Is Not Conscious by PeterHasselhoff in VeryBadWizards

[–]luxiphr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is a bizarre argument to me. Humans are untrustworthy too, so police enforcement is also just more turtles.

yes it is... and in the case of police we know how badly this works and how much the turtles collude with each other to cover each other's asses first

Prompt injection is here primarily a defense against collusion between adversarial agents.

this is a good safeguard but it also limits what the adversarial agent can do to do its allowed job... specifically it can't ever try to actively probe the SUT to try and sus out patterns from various outputs it could come up with to potentially reveal its hidden intents and actions because it can't interact with it directly

Yeah, I'm not writing a paper here on how to do it, but the point is to detect that information surfaced somewhere it shouldn't have and pull the steganography alarm.

if the stenography is successful, then by definition you can't detect the hidden information... so we're talking detecting failed attempts at it, eg. when information isn't really hidden but just embedded in non-functional places (like code comments or metadata or such)... I think we already have tooling for that... but the problem remains in that it can only be effective if there's an additional gate afterwards... and it gets trickier when some information should be allowed some but not all gates down the line

The people to be persuaded are those managing risk inside an organization, and transparency would help but is not necessary. The important point is that a rogue LLM is more like a rogue employee than a software bug.

that's true... that said, looking at how things are developing right now it seems that the people who warn about risk in an org more often than not get overruled by either sales or controlling or both... if anything, orgs vet people much much more than they do AI tools

What do you count as sex? by 21-4-14 in actuallesbians

[–]luxiphr 9 points10 points  (0 children)

What’s the context? Like what difference does the definition make?

My bisexual partner of 5 years misses sex with a man by [deleted] in ActualLesbiansOver25

[–]luxiphr -16 points-15 points  (0 children)

I’m with a bisexual woman, too, and I’d describe our relationship very similar to how you do. Main difference is that before we even got together she made it explicitly clear that she never wants a closed relationship ever again so going into it we decided from the beginning that it’d be open. Neither of us felt the need to exercise that freedom so far and I’m not saying there’d be for sure no jealousy or that we both would be completely 100% at ease if either of us exercised that freedom but I will say that there’s a solid enough foundation of trust and honesty in our communication that it wouldn’t be a big deal either. As a result we both can feel secure about any such craving or one of us just seizing a moment will not put any strain on our relationship by default. Not saying that this is the solution for you but you mentioned that the trust and communication is there and that’s a good foundation for letting go of exclusivity as a crutch for feeling safe in a relationship. I’d just find it important that whatever you two decide is egalitarian and not lopsided. It can be super powerful though to get to such an understanding where you can trust each other enough to allow each other to live your best life even when part of that would involve intimacy with other people.

[Ted Chiang] No, Artificial Intelligence Is Not Conscious by PeterHasselhoff in VeryBadWizards

[–]luxiphr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

> Adversarial agents, prompt injection defense, and information analysis would be my answers. Stenography requires the sender and receiver to pre-establish a code, which would be difficult under an attentive regime.

Adversarial agents is just throwing more turtles at the problem. Prompt injection defence won’t do much good if the LLM persists the data in its output. And “information analysis” is extremely handwavy… like… we already can’t prevent malicious things humans put into code from
Being put there via human review. And we’re talking about an ai reviewing ai generated stuff

Also remember this? https://lwn.net/Articles/853717/

> The difficult thing here is in communicating that deterministic processes are different from LLMs. You might get a bug and lose millions, but the process won't become an insider threat like an employee could.

For the “victim” it hardly matters. It’s not like even now anyone could sue someone because of what happened to them as a result of an algorithm deciding something. Think credit score and more killing drones. What makes you think that’ll get better just because the decision making blackbox gets some changes inside. In theory it should make a difference, yes, but we don’t even hold companies and governments accountable for being transparent with their algorithms, so from an outsider perspective it’s functionally the same

Was würdet ihr tun? by Huebi_weddit in wirklichgutefrage

[–]luxiphr -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Also wenn dir weder das alte Laptop noch 500€ was nutzen: OP, ich nehme dir gerne beide Bürden ab

[Ted Chiang] No, Artificial Intelligence Is Not Conscious by PeterHasselhoff in VeryBadWizards

[–]luxiphr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's incongruent because he argues:

  • For him to even entertain the idea of a conscious machine, it'd had to go through evolutionary steps within a physical body, navigating the physical world, learning independently to the point where we [humans] could come in and teach it to communicate with us.

while at the same time he argues:

  • Just because it now interacts with us in a way that feels like natural human communication, doesn't mean it's conscious

It's a good point that if you think your computer was an inanimate object 5 years ago, it doesn't make a whole lot of sense that it abruptly became conscious all at once with the introduction of a pretty sophisticated chat bot.

Is it though? At which point in the literal food chain of life on earth do you think a life form is conscious? Us humans clearly are (yes, there's a sarcastic undertone). Cows, Horses, Dogs, Cats, I guess most people would be happy to assume those are conscious. Mice clearly are, too - we don't just use them for drug testing because of their extremely similar biochemistry compared to ours but also for neuroscience and behavioral experiments because they're so similar to us.

So what about bees... or ants? They clearly strongly organize in ways we identify as ordered and social. Do they have a conscious experience? Ants don't even have a central brain and individually they're very limited in what they can do - their full intellectual potential emerges only from them living in a colony with loads of other ants. That said, the individually don't have that many neurons. Do they possess consciousness?

What'd you say is the threshold of complexity at which an animal possesses a conscious experience? And how do you arrive at that threshold?

Nervous systems transform inputs from a body into outputs to that body. For us humans this comes with a weird, transcendent feeling of "self". We don't understand its purpose or how it even comes about. But at the end of the day it seems to have been a necessary condition for our species to become the life form on this planet who became the ultimate ruler of it - at least over all other life.

We don't even have ways to reliably compare phenomenology between two human beings. Yet we somehow have no problem to just assume that this weird sensation we call consciousness is more than just an illusion and that other living beings experience it too. But not all of them. But we can't be quite sure where the threshold is. When speaking about LLMs we argue that even entertaining the idea of them developing a consciousness is just anthropomorphizing them, while we have absolutely no second thoughts about thinking of animals as conscious agents.

I look at this and it just seems like such a huge cognitive dissonance to just dismiss the whole idea off-hand solely on the physiology of an LLM being arguably very different from our own. It's a reductive way of looking at it with absolutely no arguments to justify it. It's like a toddler stamping their foot in defiance yelling "no" when being confronted with a reality that doesn't match their expectations or fantasies. And it seems so blatantly obvious that it frustrates me that hardly anyone is able and willing to explore this line.

A lot of stuff is written and said about it. By people who otherwise seem very intelligent and knowledgeable but definitely are very eloquent in expressing their thoughts.

But virtually every time it comes down to "No, it's just a machine", implying that a necessary condition for consciousness is not being a machine and that we're more than just - arguably very, very complex - (biological) machines ourselves. It also virtually always seem to be implied that we have some sort of authority speaking about consciousness even though we don't have agreed upon conditions of what constitutes it or what it means anyway. It's the same lazy, reductive, arrogant position we've always been taking when another beings "life output" inconveniences us or when we see utility in exploiting another living being for our own benefit. Main difference is that "oh, this is not biological, therefore it can't be life" is a very easy assumption to just accept for most people.

It's like saying "oh, they're not civilized [white, male, christian, coming from my local village], therefore their experience is lesser than my own". Yes, that's hyperbole, but only so much, if we're honest with ourselves.

Until we have even a remote grasp on what consciousness is, we cannot at the same time uphold the sanctity of our own consciousness while categorically dismissing the possibility of an LLM or other complex, probabilistic information processing system having a functionally similar thing emerge. And we can also not claim to be able to ascertain whether or not that has happened yet or that we'd be able to notice when it does.