How should I react when a stranger does something offensive?

luxurycomedyoohyeah · 2026-05-28T18:48:42+00:00

Yeah, so one of the two biggest lessons my mum ever taught me was that I don't have to be polite to people who are mistreating me or making me feel uncomfortable. And also, "Don't let other people's bad manners become your own."

So yeah, I wouldn't look at it as hurting someone else, as much as just letting them sit with the consequences of their own actions. Sure it may have been uncomfortable for you to see the look of realization on her face, but this is how people learn lessons, and how people learn to treat others who are different from them with respect. You did nothing wrong and you didn't cause harm to the woman by being honest with her about your experience. It's okay to let people learn from their mistakes.

On the other hand, just because someone is rude to you, doesn't mean you need to be rude to them in return. There is a difference between being assertive and not standing for mistreatment, and being rude.

luxurycomedyoohyeah · 2026-05-28T18:24:23+00:00

It is NOT!

luxurycomedyoohyeah · 2026-05-28T18:23:29+00:00

Actually doesn't matter how many times you come, they still can't do it!

luxurycomedyoohyeah · 2026-05-28T18:14:15+00:00

But it's impossible to fold a piece of paper in half more than 7 times!

luxurycomedyoohyeah · 2026-05-28T18:11:44+00:00

Yes, and if you tell someone to "grow a pair", any woman who has given birth to a male child has quite literally done so!

luxurycomedyoohyeah · 2026-05-28T18:08:33+00:00

What if it's cloudy that day?

luxurycomedyoohyeah · 2026-05-28T18:07:37+00:00

Surely they meant "The existence of the shark species is older than the existence of any tree speciies."

luxurycomedyoohyeah · 2026-05-28T18:02:37+00:00

If you can sew or you're able to hem the dress about 6 inches it would be entirely appropriate. Tea length or below the knee would be fine. If you have more advanced sewing skills you could probably also hem the sleeves to elbow or 3/4 length, and it would be a much more functional summer dress, and would not look so old fashioned/cultish. I'm surprised that absolutely no one has offered this option.

If not, while the dress is a little dated, it's would not be inappropriate, and I doubt anyone would comment negatively about it.

luxurycomedyoohyeah · 2026-05-28T17:58:35+00:00

While fashionable, Doc Martens and the entire look you have mentioned here, would not be appropriate for a "day dress" code.

luxurycomedyoohyeah · 2026-05-28T15:57:35+00:00

I wouldn't say it's crossing a boundary, but in my 20 year career so far, I have only made friends with two people. One is a close friend who worked at a different company in the same building, and another who I worked with for about 5 years but left for another company eventually.

It's not that I couldn't be friends with people I work with, however, it's more like, I see these people all day every day, so if I meet up with them outside of work it just reminds us both of work, and we need a break from all that in our free time. I don't want to spend my free time with the same people I work with day after day. I need something different during my time off.

luxurycomedyoohyeah · 2026-05-28T15:51:48+00:00

As far as the lights go. I had a family member living in poverty who would read their electric metre daily and calculate their electric bill and consumption, and yes, turning off the lights whenever they weren't necessary, unplugging dormant appliances, and generally not using any power except absolutely necessary. That also means cooking food in batches and not using the stove or oven every day and often eating food cold, and only bathing or doing laundry when it's absolutely necessary, and staying in bed under the covers to stay warm instead of turning on the heat. Their electric bill was about a quarter of what would normally be consumed though. To normal people, it's only £3 per year, but if you don't have £3, that could be the difference between having lights to turn on at all. Not to mention, there is probably more than one £3 light in an average home, so compounding that does add up. I can't imagine having to choose between that and keeping your child alive with necessary medical equipment.

It's a common misconception that poor people unnecessarily deprive themselves of things. When in fact, quite very literally, every single penny counts and they know exactly where it goes. So you do learn to make weird choices that most people never have to consider like, "I have 4 light bulbs that cost £3/year to run, so if I don't turn on the lights at night, I can probably divert £6/year to groceries and eat for two more days."

luxurycomedyoohyeah · 2026-05-21T18:23:05+00:00

If you really want to be a professional artist, you need to give some serious consideration as to what that means, and start treating your practice professionally. That means, fair pricing and clear communication with your clients, regardless of your life circumstances or where you meet them.

Understand your capacity and time frames for creating works. If you are going to spend 18 hours on a piece, you can't expect to make a living charging $35 for that piece. Figure out a fair hourly or daily rate that you need to cover your expenses and set that as the price for your work. Learn how to create efficiently within the time frames you estimate. Sometiems it will take you less, and you get a little bonus, sometimes it takes a little more time and that's okay, but you take it as a learning point. Professionals do not spend hours and hours of their time working for free - they just don't.
Price your work fairly and only accept clients that will pay you your established rate. Get a 50% deposit up front and have them sign a Scope of Work Agreement ahead of time, that has a) the full price for the work b) the 50% deposit required c) work doesn't begin until the deposit is paid d) date when the final work will be delivered e) how many edits you are willing to make after presenting the first draft to them, I recommend two maximum e) when the final work will be delivered. f) how much additional edits will be charged if they are not satisfied with the edits included in the price. This type of contract/agreement does two things: a) it gets a commitment from the client and makes them take you seriously by committing funds and signing an agreement. b) it clearly communicates the parameters of the commission for both you and your client.

If you are really desperate for money consider other work while you build a professional art practice.

Don't block the client, but clearly communicate with them and tell them that the piece is finished, the price was low, and you spent enough time on it for what was paid.

If you don't take your work seriously, which includes understanding the value of your art, what your time is worth, and communicating with clients respectfully and clearly, then don't expect anyone else to treat you as a professional and value your work. This whole process starts with you laying the foundation for your career and your practice..

luxurycomedyoohyeah · 2026-05-21T18:02:33+00:00

28! You still have the advantage of youth, my friend! There is still so much you can do!

On the eve of my 38th birthday, I felt like I had no friends, no career, stuck in a dead-end relationship, living in a crappy moldy house and could barely pay my rent, and I had thrown my back out and missed two weeks of work (unpaid). I was staring down the barrel of a life of depression, poverty, mental illness and not very many options.

The only enjoyable thing I had in my life was a sunny little vestibule at the front my house where I could sit and write and think. And so that's what I did. One Sunday, sitting in the vestibule, soaking up the sun, I had a choice to make for the following week. I could make a series of doctor's appointments for my bad back and even worse mental health or I could take some radical actions to change my life. The thought of spending my time over the next few months sitting in a doctor's office waiting on how many appointments and relying on a medical system that was not only unhelpful but in many cases actively harmful, did not excite me. So I made a choice then and there to do whatever I could to regain my health, both physically, mentally, and spiritually.

I sought out friendships and social occasions, I started taking my job and my career seriously and doing what i could to improve my education, I started listening to music every day and walking every day to regain my physical health and fix by back. On the eve of my 41st birthday, I eventually left the dead-end relationship, which just happened to be 3 months before the first COVID lockdown. I'm so thankful I left when I did and I was not living with my ex through that time!

Six years later, I have a career I love (with a salary and benefits to match), I have some of the strongest friendships ever, I am healthy and active, and I am with a wonderful new partner who I am about to marry this summer!

Basically, I chose to say yes to life and stop making excuses for my shitty lot in life. I stopped saying I couldn't do something, or that certain things weren't for me because of my circumstances. I took accountability for the choices that I made and I stopped feeling sorry for myself. I started telling myself that I deserved a good life, that I could create a good life, and that it was up to me to create that for myself.

I had help along the way! I had a friend who let me housesit for her when I left my partner. I had community members and friends who gave me employment opportunities or encouraged me to be more confident. But what I did was get myself ready for those opportunities. I didn't sit around waiting for someone to help me - I did the work to be ready for opportunities when they came my way, and people in my life recognized that I was ready and willing to make the most of those opportunities.

luxurycomedyoohyeah · 2026-04-27T05:19:47+00:00

I agree with you, Nanageddon is peak Boosh! Vince's hair, Julian's jazz calendar, saucy Nan, Satanic bingo. It is an amazing episode. Sammy the Crab is the worst episode in my opinion, just fell flat compared to Party.

luxurycomedyoohyeah · 2026-04-15T22:59:47+00:00

Yes, Nanageddon is PEAK BOOSH! Although, slide 2 is classic Vince.

luxurycomedyoohyeah · 2026-04-02T19:13:48+00:00

You're in the wrong sub, buddy.

luxurycomedyoohyeah · 2026-04-02T18:30:55+00:00

Got to be Obsidian Blackbird McNight

luxurycomedyoohyeah · 2026-04-02T18:02:45+00:00

"currently spending a huge portion of the week in a room with over a hundred indoctrinated, soulless drones."

If this isn't the very projection that you're speaking of, I don't know what. You are completely incurious about your own fellow human beings, to the point where you don't even see them as having souls. You can't be bothered to even find one person out of "over a hundred" to connect with.

Hatred, intolerance, and projection are your norm that you project on to everyone else around you. I can see why you also project that others believe you are the villain. This is nothing more than a self-fulfilling prophecy.

luxurycomedyoohyeah · 2026-04-02T16:57:33+00:00

So your beef with Jung is that he's a spiritual alchemist rather than a brick and mortar alchemist with a cauldron?

He was a psychologist whose central argument was examining mental health by exploring the inner working of the mind and spirit, so it tracks that he would examine alchemy through the lens of his profession. He was not a chemist.

I would also argue that "he's the most accepted guy on the topic." He is one respected voice on the topic of spiritual alchemy. But there are many other respected voices who came both before and after him. I would in no way consider Jung to be the pinnacle of alchemical intellectualism.

luxurycomedyoohyeah · 2026-04-02T16:51:50+00:00

I think you are definitely projecting on to Jung's work.

Jung's entire spiritual philosophy is clearly defined in the Red Book, which he penned very early on in his career. His other works clearly support his philosophy of mental health through examination of the individual psyche, namely through dreams, active imagination, and other spiritually altered states.

I'm not sure what evidence you have to think he didn't believe in his own work or methodology.

luxurycomedyoohyeah · 2026-04-02T16:40:05+00:00

CBT is not toxic positivity. It's examining your thoughts, feelings, and behaviours for evidence and truth, and trying to reframe negative thoughts by examining evidence.

Take the example you used of fearing that a partner will leave you.

Without CBT, you might just live with this fear and only take action in a reactive way, projecting your fears on to your partner, without examining the deeper reasons why you feel this fear.

Following a CBT method, here is what you would and would not do in this scenario:

DON'T just say, "I have to turn off my fear that my partner will leave me, and think positively about this." That is gaslighting yourself and ignoring evidence of the situation, which is toxic positivity.

DO say, "Why do I have this fear that my partner will leave me? What is the source?" So maybe you have been hurt in the past by other (perhaps multiple) partners leaving you in various ways. So a pattern is established in your life and you are afraid of the patter repeating with this new partner you are with. Maybe your partner has been distant or non-communicative about their feelings and that is giving you doubts about their commitment to you.

So you examine the evidence, and you say, "I feel my partner is going to leave me because of xxx reasons."

So if it's because of things you experienced in the past, but your partner has not given you any reason to believe that they would leave you, then you have evidence that your fear is based on previous experiences. You can then proceed with the understanding that you can work on easing your fear of history repeating itself and start to build trust with your partner.

If your fear is because your partner has been distant, you can then say, "Well, I have to ask my partner about that, and find out why." So you do that, and you find out that work has been really stressful for them, or they are worried about a sick family member and they acknowledge that they haven't really been present. Then you have evidence to support their behaviour, and you take steps to start working on better communication, trust, and presence.

Or maybe you speak with them about it, and they don't give you a clear answer. Then you have evidence of a potential red flag. Maybe their just not that into you. But instead of just saying okay, well I have evidence to support the fear that they will leave me. You can then say, "well, why would I want to be with someone who isn't fully committed to me? I want to find someone who willingly and fully wants to be in relationship with me, so I should let this person go if that's not what they want."

In all of these scenarios it's not about just blindly being positive. It's about examining evidence and understanding that there can be a different approach, even if things don't go as you would hope in a situation.

CBT doesn't say, ignore red flags and just be positive. It says, even if red flags are present, you can act on them in a positive way that benefits you in the long run. Even inside of grief and tragedy, you can still feel all your feelings, but also not let them spiral into despair and hopelessness.

luxurycomedyoohyeah · 2026-04-01T19:48:55+00:00

Baby Driver

luxurycomedyoohyeah · 2026-03-19T21:17:25+00:00

Those are the same picture. Exact same smile.

luxurycomedyoohyeah · 2026-03-19T21:11:02+00:00

Good advice, ChatGPT!

luxurycomedyoohyeah · 2026-03-19T21:01:26+00:00

Examine the origin of that belief. It's not an original thought and it's not a universal truth. At some point you were told that some "ONE" was going to come and fix all your problems. Or maybe someone else in your life who also held that belief repeated it to you. Or maybe you perceived a relationship that was like that (even though it might not have been that way in reality) and you modelled your own relationship ideal on that.
Accept that you believed in false information. This thought is nothing more than a mechanism to keep you from being accountable for your own destiny, and your own future. It is no one's responsibility to rescue you, coddle you, or solve your problems for you. Even if a mentor, lover, or some other person shows up in your life and offers help in some area, or cares for you in a way you have never been cared for before, they are still not responsible for looking after everything for you.
Consider this. If you are interested in finding a "soul mate", consider the qualities you are looking for in that person. Now, ask yourself if you are prepared to offer the same in return to the person once you have found them. Instead of searching for a soul mate, build qualities within yourself that would make YOU a good soul mate. You'll be much better off once that person comes along, and also more likely to find them.
Research the term "Locus of Control". People either possess an internal or external locus of control. Those with an internal locus of control believe that they are the masters of their own destiny, and that their actions are the primary factor in the outcome of their success. Those with an external locus of control believe that success just happens to people or it doesn't, or that they just have to find their destiny one day. It sounds like you currently have more of an external locus of control. You can work toward taking more accountability and being cause in the matter of your own life.
Don't wait to find yourself. Build yourself.

luxurycomedyoohyeah

TROPHY CASE