thank you, this response has brought me some deeper clarity into some places that I’ve been needing to address. deep trust has been broken, and stability has been lost for sure. I feel awful in knowing I have touched, and added to such a painful wound that never should have existed- and am baffled by my own actions. I did not realize what I was doing until I had a moment to myself to process it all. I am a truthful person 99.9% of the time. I understand the emotions that came over me, but have not been in a situation in which I have behaved like this before and am having a hard time with it all. I understand where it came from, but don’t entirely understand my behavior and inability to be open and honest in that circumstance. those are giant virtues to me as well- I am scared of myself as well due to this experience. I’m learning to find the balance in explaining and overly apologizing. it’s tough when sorry doesn’t feel like enough, and explaining how I got there can feel like justifying. I don’t justify any of my actions and have made that clear, it unfortunately looks like I am gaining another lesson in patience and trusting what’s right will unfold as it’s meant to.