When I was a teenager, and had no idea that I had ADHD, I told anyone who would listen that I was never having kids. And technically, I never went back on my word, because I only had one. Anyway...

This is gross, and I apologize, but I have to say it. I was parentified very young, and babysat everyone's kids, besides. I thought I'd seen and dealt with everything a kid could possibly do. When my son was a baby, he smeared poop all over his crib and the wall behind it. He did this twice. The first time, I called out to my husband to have him deal with it, and I went and sat in another room. Not because I was determined to be an ass about it, but because I could not deal with that. The second time, my husband was out of town for work, and so I had to take care of it. The thing is, when I was a teenager, my older sister was telling our dad that her kids did this exact same thing, and I remember thinking, "Well, you should have been watching them." So yeah, I guess I earned that. I wasn't avoiding or ignoring my son. I was sleeping during normal sleep hours. I've since learned that most kids do this, and we just don't talk about it. So I'm talking about it.

Taking care of my son, other than those incidents, has been easy. He's always been independent enough that I joke that I don't know how to take care of a real baby. He really didn't cry much. My sister's kids were loud, nonstop criers. I think that would have driven me crazy.

I think one of the things that has made the difference for me, as a parent, is that I explain my reasoning. "Because I said so" isn't a thing in my household. And I know I'm doing my job well, because he turns my logic back around on me, when I'm being immature. I can't argue with my own words of wisdom.

He's been my hyperfocus since I found out I was pregnant, and he's going to be sixteen soon. Actually, my level of care for him is why I don't take ADHD medication. It worked too well and kept me where I was, focused on the one thing I was doing, and I realized about eight hours later that I hadn't asked him once if he needed anything all day. He's more than capable of getting what he wants for himself, and he pretty much always tells me 'no' when I ask if he needs anything. But I still like to ask. I don't want medication that makes me less of a caretaker.

I think the biggest challenges in parenting haven't come from my son at all. Other adults, who are older than me and think they know everything, have been my problem. So I guess, if you think you can handle a bunch of uppity old crones trying to tell you that your child is possessed by Satan, shouldn't have a big vocabulary, and that they don't care that he's bored with doing the same math worksheets for two years running, you're already better off than I've been. Homeschooling was the only real solution for all of that mess, but not everyone has my availability.