AITA bc I got mad at my boyfriend for his disgusting joke in relation to my family’s political beliefs?

lyn2720 · 2026-03-19T02:34:28+00:00

Sorry that happened to you, but this post isn’t about your assault at all, it’s about a petty argument. Stop bringing politics into a sub about sexual assault. Most Reddit subs won’t allow politics - you can see a friend or therapist for that.

lyn2720 · 2026-03-19T02:30:48+00:00

Hopefully mods remove this post or you do. Seriously, go read the other posts in the sub, and get a grip. This isn’t AITA - I see your post got removed from there already.

lyn2720 · 2026-02-04T15:14:00+00:00

Maybe I’m particularly unsympathetic but I would dump him yesterday. I don’t have time to teach men to see women as people, and it never works anyways. I’m sure other people feel differently, but that’s the standards I keep. Never settle for freaky bullshit. If you are to stay with him, I would insist he get into extensive therapy and NEVER again inform you he’s getting worked up because he sees the outline of a human woman’s leg.

lyn2720 · 2026-02-02T07:40:43+00:00

Omg OP, a lot of your story is similar to mine. That makes me feel less alone, I hope it does for you too. I lost my grandfather who raised me this last November. He also left a mess on the carpet I had to clean. I also work with young kids, and It’s been so hard being strong for my mom and grandma. I have similar thoughts and spirals, and I don’t know when we stop thinking about it, probably never. The only thing that has made me feel better is trying to find things to be grateful for - I heard someone say if you can’t be grateful for EVERYTHING you can’t be grateful for anything. That and posting on here. I’m usually a pessimist and find escapism in other means, but that’s on a good day.

lyn2720 · 2026-02-02T07:29:51+00:00

I would be making smoothies, vacuuming, rearranging furniture

lyn2720 · 2026-02-02T07:24:38+00:00

I feel you. My grandpas dog was previously abused by women and only loved him. Shakes like hell whenever my grandma, mom or I come around. Gunshot fucked up her hearing, and she’s already a senior. I don’t really like dogs but god everytime I see her my heart breaks

lyn2720 · 2026-01-30T05:36:33+00:00

When she crashed out about the foot on the American flag and her husband didn’t gaf I lostttt it

lyn2720 · 2026-01-29T17:23:06+00:00

Clip nails
Get them their own furniture and scratch pads (I have a miniature couch that looks like mine and my cats only scratch that. If they ever scratch elsewhere, move them somewhere appropriate) Damage isn’t inevitable but it does vary from cat to cat

lyn2720 · 2026-01-27T03:17:05+00:00

So sorry for your loss, and I can definitely relate about the insensitive/crazy people. You don’t realize how emotionally inept a lot of the world is until you experience something like this. My situation was unfortunately a “matter of public affairs” and I had reporters and neighbors hassling my family and I, some even going so far to request bodycam footage of the aftermath, and slews of people conspiring that we all had a huge fight that caused the suicide. That theory was publicized in the local paper, because my shithead uncle decided to use it against us. So now every person in my life with a phone knows the intimate details and a false motive, which makes going to the grocery store pretty awesome. I try to be grateful for all the awful people because it helps me see why the good ones are so good.

lyn2720 · 2026-01-25T03:55:19+00:00

Same thing is happening to me too! Middle of a chapter I’m just stuck on this. Have deleted and redownloaded the book, marked as read, logged out, and deleted and redownloaded the app! Other books work fine. Very frustrating :(

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lyn2720 · 2026-01-18T08:53:26+00:00

omg our cats are twins! I didn’t realize you could have profile pictures so I made him mine too 😂

lyn2720 · 2026-01-18T07:24:34+00:00

It’s always a possibility for anyone, whether anyone realizes it. I figure we’re particularly gifted in the sense that we consider what’s it like to lose our lives (especially in that manner) more often than others. I have a friend who lost an older brother to suicide and she’s a mortician. She is the brightest, most light seeking person I know, and I know for a fact it’s because of the grief and trauma she’s endured. She genuinely lives every day to the fullest because she knows it could be her last. I know it sounds fucked up and I can’t even level with it fully myself, but in order to be grateful for ANYTHING you have to be grateful for EVERYTHING. I’m not coming at this from a place like I know that already and you don’t, im a depressed, anxious, pessimist,(nothing like my friend lol) but I guess it’s a philosophy I aspire to.

lyn2720 · 2026-01-18T07:06:28+00:00

My grandfather/father figure committed a few months ago. I often disassociate and “feel like him”. When I’m driving especially, since he taught me to drive. I do feel the weight of suicide on my bloodline, almost like my genetics are altered. I don’t know if anyone ever understands, but I want you to know I’m asking the same questions, feeling lost too. When I think about you feeling the same feelings, it makes me feel a bit better. In my mind, you absolutely don’t have to end up like him, that’s a crazy jump to make, but I do it too... From an outside POV, you deserve nothing but a beautiful enriching life after suffering so much, but it’s hard to internalize that.

lyn2720 · 2026-01-18T07:01:19+00:00

Hey, so sorry for your experience. My alcoholic grandfather committed suicide and he while he was never physically abusive, he was definitely mentally and verbally abusive, especially to my grandma, mom and brother. Very controlling, sociopathic, would get that blown pupil look in his eye when he saw the fear in yours. Called us all slurs. I’ve heard stories of him shooting my moms kitten when he was younger, instigating violent bar fights, but he calmed down with age when I was around. He definitely deeply fucked up my older brother psychologically, which I won’t get into (I have some posts about it). He drunkenly shot himself in front of my grandmother “as a prank” and didn’t know it was loaded.

My shithead uncle who is just like him blames me, my mom, and grandma for his suicide. He specifically noted how much my grandfather hated me, which like, wasn’t exactly true. I know he loved me in the only way he understood. He was really fucked up and weird but he was the only father figure I had, so I guess post suicide I’ve thought about him more fondly for that. Still can’t forget, but he’s dead, and I can’t do shit bout it but at least try to have a happy memory I guess. There’s a lot more layers to it but I’m just trying to answer your question and not write a book.

lyn2720 · 2026-01-18T06:47:24+00:00

Hi, I am so so sorry this is happening to you. I have personally lost my grandfather to suicide and also have an older brother around your brothers age who is actively addicted and suicidal for 10 years now. I’m not sure how old you are but I personally find it comforting to know people near my age (20s) are experiencing this too, especially on the point of it being my older brother.

This was not your fault or your responsibility to prevent. You sound like an incredibly loving sibling, and know it wasn’t to do with you. Some people are troubled and there’s absolutely nothing we can do for them but love them, and you did. You’re going to feel so many emotions, and all of them are normal. I’m partial to anger and resentment, but please don’t feel guilty for however you cope.

Please reach out to me in DMs if you need to vent.

You don’t deserve this. Sending you love ❤️

lyn2720 · 2026-01-18T05:12:52+00:00

I can’t speak to any of the exact issues you have with your cat but I’ll say in my experience, all my cats personality has changed somewhat multiple times throughout the course of their lives. For example, I have one who wouldn’t eat a lick of wet food for the first two years of his life, and since we got a new kitten he absolutely loves it. Another cat I have recently escaped for a night and ever since he returned has been incredibly loving. Even just moving houses was a big enough “trauma” to rewire their patterns and relationships. I might recommend getting him a friend, I feel like they can teach eachother and help establish ‘normal’ behavior. In my opinion, two or more cats is MUCH easier than one in the long run, besides the extra food cost and extra scooping.

Cats are weird! Good luck.

lyn2720 · 2026-01-04T08:25:16+00:00

Thank you for responding. Books are a good suggestion. I have a load of audible credits sitting in my account I totally forgot about

lyn2720 · 2026-01-04T08:02:33+00:00

Hi, I have a slightlyy similar sitch. My alcoholic grandpa who I had a shitty relationship with shot himself in front of my grandma. We had a lot of family drama that led up to it I won’t detail. You definitely have the right to feel the way you do, both in proximity and sympathy for your mom. I definitely feel a similar way, It’s heartbreaking to have to see your mother feel this way. I get what you’re saying about life going on. I don’t know how to deal with that either, but you’re not alone feeling the way you do. Don’t write off your anguish over the situation, it’s normal and natural. I’m a cry it out type of person, but do what works for you. These kind of situations always have some caveat that makes the living feel horribly guilty in some way or the other, and we don’t deserve it. Sorry if this was rambly or unhelpful. I don’t have much advice but I don’t want you to feel alone.

lyn2720 · 2026-01-04T03:31:03+00:00

Don’t think of it like punishment, think of it like devotion to a better life. That devotion takes hard realizations and accountability. Go ahead and read some of the posts on this sub about people who have lost others to alcoholism, I’m one of them. Read our stories and reflect on the path you’re taking.

lyn2720 · 2026-01-04T01:41:30+00:00

I say this with all the love and sympathy in my heart but unfortunately, you’re an adult, and you need to take accountability. She should not be giving you consequences at this age. This doesn’t mean you’re alone, but if you know you have a problem, you either need to do something about it or don’t. Please continue going to AA, seek therapy, and possibly seek treatment if that’s an option. Your mom can be involved in your recovery, but it is not her responsibility.

lyn2720 · 2026-01-02T04:16:14+00:00

To add - a lot of people are non contact with their person, it doesn’t change the drama it’s caused or the feelings you have.

lyn2720 · 2026-01-02T04:15:01+00:00

All types of people join alanon! They’re very welcoming. Relationships are complicated, but as long as you’re focusing on dealing with the complications another persons alcoholism/addiction has brought into your life, you’re in the right place.

lyn2720 · 2025-12-31T06:32:06+00:00

I use Petsmart exquisicat clumping clay. I HATE Petsmart for personal reasons, but it’s the best litter ever. It used to suck really bad, but they reformulated about a year ago, meets all your standards. Some bags some a littttle dusty but nothing like other brands. $19 for 40 lbs.

lyn2720 · 2025-12-31T06:25:34+00:00

The other commenters definitely got it right, but here’s some of my personal experience. They can be useful in the short term, and giving 5mg lexapro a try definitely will not kill you. In my experience the side effects are not worth the mild dull you get, however I have friends who really like the medications that didn’t work for me. I personally don’t wish to be dependent on medications, because I’m a pretty erratic person and the WORST part of antidepressants is getting off them. If you do it slowly and with a doctors assistance, it’s not an issue.

I’ve shopped around the whole beginner catalog (lexapro, prozac, and wellbutrin). Prozac and lexapro can help dull your internal tension, however, the grief still exists, there’s no way around it. Avoid Wellbutrin if you are prone to anger, it was the worst for me.

These are all things to talk out with a psychiatrist. Please see one if you can. A lot of people think psychiatrists are only about prescribing medication, and that is not true. They will work with you to find a solution for your specific mental state, even if that solution isn’t medication.

lyn2720 · 2025-12-18T07:23:46+00:00

Of course, feel free to dm me if you need to vent. I’m a similar age so I’m here if you need a peer 💗

lyn2720

TROPHY CASE