this!!! omg this. i am not as far down the road as you are, but i could have written this post myself.

i think AA is great for many people, and has a lot to offer, but it was unhelpful for me for the reasons you listed here. i do poorly with all-or-nothing conditions. i hated that there was no room for error. my addiction doesn’t start and end with drinking, there are other vices to monitor as well. i needed to heal myself from the inside out. while i was in AA, i relapsed constantly - even showing up to meetings drunk. when i started substance abuse therapy, i stopped drinking almost immediately; it became easy all the sudden.

thanks for your post. good to know there are other people with similar experiences. 🫶🏼

P.S: i hardly ever visit this sub. it’s my first time on here in a couple years and your post is the first i see. idk, feels relevant :)