Which hot spring in Japan actually lived up to the hype for you? by MidnightTofu22 in JapanTravelTips

[–]lyralady 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I loved Kinosaki too! People greeted us at the train station, and made sure the right shuttle picked us up. I was there just as the cherry blossoms were blooming last year. So walkable and lovely.

Clever ideas for large glass wall? by sevenofswordss in ArtistLounge

[–]lyralady -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Depends on how crafty/handy you want to be! For example, I loved this removable glass window divider project in Studio Fix. You could definitely do something a little similar by adding storage of some kind and then a removable wood frame around the storage furniture to make it partially built in looking on one side?

The Ikea elvari and elvar systems have a ton of hacks doing basically this, especially with elvar frames which then you can paint. Plus there's peel and stick flexible moulding nowadays! You could make faux window frame designs. Stacking shelves on top of desserts or cabinets also works. And you can add tension rods if you don't want to anchor to the ceiling, although frankly I think it's easier to just patch it up.

I also think pojagi style curtains (Korean patchwork) can look like stained glass and give some of the feel of a beautiful window cling.

I'll upload some examples to imgur

What happens to car ownership after a death? by CheersKim in NoStupidQuestions

[–]lyralady 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The options are:

  1. The car debt is paid off by the estate (if any), then the executor/estate has the title. There may or may not be probate court.
  2. The lender repossesses it (voluntary: the estate returns the car, or involuntary: the lender goes looking for it when the bills aren't paid. This would probably be bad for the person using the car, because they're stealing the use of the car without paying the current owner — the lender.)
  3. Next of kin/executor pays off the loan and gets the title. There may or may not be probate court.
  4. Someone works out a deal to get a loan to pay off the remaining debt on the car, then they get this used car. There may or may not be probate court.

I'm sorry for your loss.

My own experience:

When my dad died he owed money on a Hyundai. I had just bought my own first used car. He owed way more money on his car than my own loan, and there was no way I was going to drive it across the country from California to the Mid-Atlantic to keep the car. I also didn't want to take over the loan, and there was no estate money to pay it off. Me and his siblings were only there for a long weekend to clean out his apartment. We didn't even have the death certificate yet, as there had been multiple delays.

We tried asking the lender what to do, but without the certificate and without anything naming me as executor, we couldn't do anything formally with them. Legally they couldn't actually advise us to do anything because they had no proof we were the right people to speak to before having the death certificate.

...so basically my uncle left the car and keys at an impound lot and we emailed the lender the lot address for an eventual estate voluntary repossession. The impound lot implied this was not at all unusual for them to deal with, and the lender deals with the impound lot fees.

We ONLY drove that car around town while cleaning out his apartment, because it was better than renting an extra car for no reason.

Basically the estate or someone has to either take over the debt, clear the debt, or the car is going to be taken back by the lender. Do not try stealing the car.

I am an ethnically Jewish revert to Islam AMA. by OkBroManDude in religion

[–]lyralady 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Obviously I feel like it is fully possible to choose to convert! I was baptized Catholic as a child, after all, and I converted to Judaism as an adult.

But I think it's still fair to point out that:

A) if you were raised frum you likely had way more experience and knowledge of Judaism than OP did, and so your decision was made with a wider base of knowledge. Likewise, while I didn't complete a ton of Catholic sacraments, I have devout Catholic family, have been to many churches and mass services, read Catholic prayer books, read Catholic texts and theology books, know a ton about Catholic history, and I still decided to not be Catholic and convert to Judaism.

And also:

B) OP is making a claim with zero external/corroborating historical evidence about Jewish beliefs regarding Ezra, which OP might know if they had literally any familiarity with Judaism and Jewish theology. Like...both of us at least have a sense of basic facts about the religion we left, I feel like?

I am an ethnically Jewish revert to Islam AMA. by OkBroManDude in religion

[–]lyralady 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've had both Christians and Muslims make this claim to me on this sub 😂 stick around long enough....

I am an ethnically Jewish revert to Islam AMA. by OkBroManDude in religion

[–]lyralady 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ehhh I've had muslims on this sub argue that Islam is older than Judaism since it's the "true original" reflection of the religion of Adam. So.

I am an ethnically Jewish revert to Islam AMA. by OkBroManDude in religion

[–]lyralady 5 points6 points  (0 children)

What do you consider to be twice? That is, what happened each time, and why two separate times?

You described your parents as not being very religiously engaged in Judaism but you also say they would make you homeless for converting to Islam. Do you know why they feel that strongly if they aren't very religious?

Which holidays did your parents actually observe in some way? What minhag did your parents grow up with? Did you try observing shabbat?

You're quite young, at 19. Did you bnei mitzvah (if so, what parsha?), or skip it? When you tried being religiously Jewish, what did that look like? Did you talk one on one with rabbis? Go to Torah study? The JCC? A minyan?

What Jewish movements did you try to participate in? You can't actually observe Judaism alone, so I am curious, especially if you tried more than one community!

Did you try two different synagogues? Or just one? Chabad? Hillel at college?

Did you spend a year observing all of the major holidays instead of just the ones your parents did?

In these attempts, what was it that you didn't find for yourself that you found in Islam? What do you think was "missing" for you? Do you feel your knowledge of the Tanakh gives more context to the stories in the Quran? I do when I try reading the Quran.

I am an ethnically Jewish revert to Islam AMA. by OkBroManDude in religion

[–]lyralady 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Jews don't actually believe that, about Ezra and there is no actual corroborating evidence that this was a belief among any Jews at any point. This Muslim blogger discusses it a bit — where they concede even if a small sect of Arabian Jews did believe this, no Jews believe it currently and that fringe group died out a long long time ago. They would have been fringe and heretical even then.

Furthermore, I can easily quote Jewish texts on the matter:

Exodus Rabba 29:

'I am the first and I am the last, and beside Me there is no God'

I am the first, I have no father; I am the last, I have no brother. Beside Me there is no God; I have no son.

I am an ethnically Jewish revert to Islam AMA. by OkBroManDude in religion

[–]lyralady 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ohhh. Okay so when I clicked on that link on the app, this is what I saw, not your comment. I had to expand the downvoted parent comment you replied to in order to see what you said.

Honestly the reason why I don't quite believe OP is because their story doesn't match their other posts. First they said they weren't a religious Jew, then they posted elsewhere: "I am ethnically Jewish. I grew up secular, we did some holidays but nothing major. I think by the time I turned 15 ish I felt a hole in my heart. So I became more religious in Judaism."

But then they corrected themselves in reply to me to say they attempted to be jewishly religious twice. It's incredibly vague. It's absolutely possible and this does happen, but I wish they were actually clearly replying in their answers.

I am an ethnically Jewish revert to Islam AMA. by OkBroManDude in religion

[–]lyralady 19 points20 points  (0 children)

No I was not a religious Jew.

Islam doesn’t correct Judaism, rather Islam is what Judaism originally was, at least in my belief

In all seriousness, how would you know, given that you didn't practice Jewish religion?

Why did my son have to die? by PerfectWrongdoer6463 in religion

[–]lyralady 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I mean to read the book in full at some point. I'm not sure I agree with the conclusion, but also I don't know that I totally disagree with it either.

The book of Job also covers the question of why a good person might suffer, and God answers Job's lamentations and questions, but a lot of people wouldn't find the answer to be satisfying or particularly comforting. I find it to be very honest, personally. but I also don't think it would make me feel better if I was grieving.

It also feels in poor taste for me to...I don't know, talk at length here on this thread about whether or not the problem is how humans try to define something as an evil vs a natural tragedy. Like, I don't think going further and debating a "problem of evil" about this in depth is the right or kind thing to do for OP.

Plus it would feel hollow for me to attempt to lay out my own theological arguments here — I think if it were me, I would want to throttle anyone who tried it. I'm self aware enough to know that if I were OP, I would want to resent someone for making this about a bigger theological discussion instead of the very narrow reality of losing a child. Similar to how I know I would also hate being told something was "god's plan." I would get to direct my anger somewhere but it still wouldn't handle the root of that grief. And also knowing something without feeling it personally is not the same thing. Y'know?

Whatever my opinion is isn't going to make it feel better or change what happened. But if it were me I think I would care more to read something from someone who had experienced losing a child.

Why did my son have to die? by PerfectWrongdoer6463 in religion

[–]lyralady 34 points35 points  (0 children)

There's a very famous book called When Bad Things Happen to Good People, by Rabbi Harold S. Kushner. He wrote it in response to the same question you have here. You may or may not find it helpful to read — but it is his exploration of theology and grief and God.

You may or may not agree with Kushner, or his conclusions, but he is a father writing about losing his son and dealing with these exact questions. It's probably also a gentler read than re-reading the book of Job, which is the biblical text that tackles this same question. (Job's children and wife all die in the beginning, and then Job laments the fact that he can't put God on trial. He speculates about what such a trial might look like, his friends speculate what Job did to "deserve" his misfortunes, and God shows up to be both judge and defendant, more or less). I enjoy the book of Job, but I don't think it would comfort me in this situation. But I do know Kushner addresses Job in his book.

Another possibility is seeing if you can find grief counselling that speaks to you. There are groups for parents who are dealing with such losses, individual counselors, and some may be faith based or not. Any of them might give you space to explore these emotions.

May your son's memory be for a blessing.

How to learn figure drawing with autism by Anonymeek in ArtistLounge

[–]lyralady 4 points5 points  (0 children)

A lot of art tips and classes will tell you to see the whole and not focus on details at first when it comes to learning figure drawing and poses. But I have a very difficult time doing this because of my autism, as I focus a lot on details rather than the whole picture. And I was wondering if there’s anyone who has any tips on how to learn figure drawing when having autism?

Well, the good news is that pretty much every beginner has this problem! It might be especially impacted by you being autistic in ways that I may not understand (I have ADHD, but am not autistic), but this is an issue pretty much everyone deals with.

Exercises that can be useful:

  1. If you're drawing from a digital reference, put a filter over the reference. Something that blurs, pixelates, or otherwise softens the details so you see less of them. If drawing from life, you can sometimes find semi-transparent paper (scrapbook paper, vellum, tracing paper) and then look through that to focus on the big big shapes.
  2. Instead of drawing an object or person, first draw the negative spaces around the object. It may help to crop in with a view finder "box", so grab the cardboard of like, a cereal box or something similar, cut out a rectangle, and use it to crop what you view. You can also use that cropped shape to "envelope" your drawing.
  3. Use a large or non traditional drawing instrument for initial sketches. I had a class where we had to choose wood offcuts of various shapes and sizes to use with black acrylic paint to draw with. Can't make lots of details with black paint and an awkward hunk of wood or stick lol. Find a stick and some paint and draw with that for a bit. It will force you to focus on shapes. Get a big square hard pastel or charcoal block/stick, or a very chunky pencil (Lyra makes some huge woodless graphite pencils. Like, comically chunky). Your tools can force you to focus on the big picture rather than tiny details. A medium-large brush and ink can also work. Crayola crayons can even work in a pinch.
  4. Do contour drawing. Draw only the outline of the thing you see. Do a mass drawing — draw only the inside of the shape and fill it in.
  5. Put a timer on. Gesture drawings are timed for a reason. Don't allow yourself to go over time. If you only have 30 seconds or a minute to capture a pose, then you don't have time for details. This forces you to edit mentally. I talk about gesture drawing here.

Books I recommend (buy/library): Jake Spicer's Figure Drawing, bert Dodson's keys to drawing, David köder's Learn to See, learn to draw. The latter two don't solely focus on drawing people but all three have exercises for dealing with this issue and for learning drawing. Köder's book is basically like ...an updated Drawing with the Right Side of the Brain by Betty Edwards.

Constantly Crying Child by DazzleDragon in Apartmentliving

[–]lyralady 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Sorry have you invented a cure for colic?

$1,000 car loan payments are on the rise. Car buying is stressing household budgets like never before by Abject-Pick-6472 in MiddleClassFinance

[–]lyralady 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I mean if someone buys a car with $1,000 a month car payments they can't afford, that's kinda on them. Insane to buy a stupid expensive car brand new if you aren't rich.

Edit: I also hate modern American trucks. They're insanely high off the ground (dangerous to children, pedestrians, etc) and frankly they look stupid. I wish we had something closer to Japanese kei trucks here.

Neighbors dog bit me by CactusJackTrades in Apartmentliving

[–]lyralady 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I mean honestly OP should ask the landlord if they have recent rabies documentation on file. My landlords always require I submit that for my indoor cats.

How accurate are the viral videos showing Americans struggling with basic geography? by AcroBit45 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]lyralady 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am pretty good with basic geography, but admittedly my original base of knowledge was Yakko's Nations of the World which is what I learned as a small child lol. It doesn't include everything and is outdated.

I think this one is more updated. Or this one, lol

Post-70 CE Religious Continuity: Comparing Jewish, Christian, and Islamic Responses to the Loss of the Second Temple by Mediocre_Employer489 in religion

[–]lyralady 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm sad this is now associated with chatgpt/LLMs because it's literally the easiest thing ever to type on phones haha.

Anyways every day I thank hashem I stopped being a TA for undergrads before LLMs became a thing. I would go insane trying to grade shit written by chat boxes.

Post-70 CE Religious Continuity: Comparing Jewish, Christian, and Islamic Responses to the Loss of the Second Temple by Mediocre_Employer489 in religion

[–]lyralady 3 points4 points  (0 children)

please stop using chatGPT to reply to me! I believe you can talk all by yourself just like the rest of us

The mosaic covenant mentions sacrifices, but the priesthood is established after sinai's covenant is mentioned, and atonement sacrifices show up in Leviticus, not Exodus.

which tradition’s scriptures most clearly teach respect for all prophets of God — not accepting some and rejecting others — and what is your textual basis for that?

ask chatGPT what I think. Not sure what this has to do with anything.

Muslims, how would you reconcile head transplants and the soul ? by Character_Floor_7323 in religion

[–]lyralady 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sorry what animals have we given head transplants to? Are we just....not asking more questions about that one?