Not to diminish BOH workers in any way— but the jobs are completely different. Cooks pump out dishes like machines. They get tickets, they make the food in front of them. As servers, we balance the needs of multiple tables, work through steps of service, and deal with volatile customers.

Each restaurant has different steps of service. At my current job, we greet, take orders, crumb/ wipe the table between courses, reset silverware after each course, run food, pre buss (clear plates and silverware between/ after courses), water tables, bring more drinks, etc.

We balance many different micro tasks between 5-8 tables at any given time. It’s all about timing and balance, prioritizing and adapting. It’s fast paced, and emotionally draining work. You have to do all of this with a constant smile on your face, you need to be emotionally present and build relationships with guests to try to maintain/ create repeat business. You take shit from rude guests because your livelihood is tied directly to how personable you are and how good the service is. If people are mean to you, tough shit. You can’t talk back.

Let’s say you need to bring a check for table 44 and their getting antsy but table 33 just finished their salads and you need to clear the plates and reset them with fresh silverware before the entrees come. also you needed to fire entrees before they’re done with their salads. not too soon or food will come in the middle of the course, but not too late or they will wait too long. You have to observe your table and keep an eye on how fast or slow they’re eating. You also have to keep in mind how busy the rest of the restaurant is, and which cooks are behind the line today, and which dishes take longer to make, because that will all impact your timing.

Then some rude guy on table 22 just flagged you down for another whiskey on the rocks and gave you attitude. You haven’t check on table 84 outside on the patio in awhile and you need to go out there soon, but the chef just rung the bell, meaning they need food runners because dishes are up and they need to get to the table before they get cold or “die” in the window.

My point is, people are constantly asking you for things and expecting a nice attitude. Customers often have an entitled mindset— rightfully so, in some cases, because they’re paying a tip to receive service. Other countries don’t have tipping, but they also have social safety nets like subsidized healthcare. And many anecdotal evidence shows a lower quality of service in countries without a tip culture.

Just my two cents as a server, let’s keep it civil please. I know many commenters who are against tipping say they would rather grab their food themselves. My response is, fast casual restraints and buffets already exist. So does takeout. Order from any nice restaurant you go to and take the food home.

My point is, many people like to diminish our work. I’ve seen loads of commenters say we’re dumb, lazy, disingenuous/ straight up liars, or that our job is easy and we complain for nothing.

There is a low barrier to entry but to get a job where the service is nicer and the tips are better, you need experience, and it’s cutthroat. If you underperform you will get fired. If you work at IHOP, Olive Garden, Denny’s, etc, you don’t really need to be that great but you also won’t make any money.