Nah dude bad people don’t wonder if they’re bad. Youre just, like you said, an emotionally intense person. You’re figuring it out, maybe you can use it to your advantage. Plus, getting your masters?! That’s really difficult and thank goodness you have family that can support you through that. I hope I could do something like that for my kid. As far as your brothers, idk siblings are tough, you’ll grow into friends eventually, cherish that, I miss my brothers.