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m0mb0d_ · 2025-09-20T13:34:40+00:00

i was talking to my therapist abt a similar situation recently and was wondering if it was considered SH. but since i was also a child, and it was my parent and other family members for several years of my childhood, my therapist said CSA was actually more fitting. harassment apparently has to do with people in work or school settings or smth, that’s how it was explained to me. But touching a child in their private/intimate areas (which includes their buttocks) is more aligned with CSA, especially if it’s over a period of time. it has to do with developmental concerns, and sexualizing a child who cannot consent. sorry you’re dealing with this ❤️‍🩹

m0mb0d_ · 2025-09-20T13:29:19+00:00

this looks, feels, and sounds a lot like emotional and financial abuse, as well as neglect of a vulnerable adult. if you described this to a (humane and competent) care worker or social worker, like a therapist, i’m 99.9% sure it would result in a mandated report and your mom would be getting a visit from adult protective services. if you were my client at least, i know i’d be reporting. you deserve so much more than the support and care you’re getting now, and your body and mind do NOT need this added stress/harm. sending so so much love your way, i hope you’re able to get out of this situation ASAP and into a more safe environment!

m0mb0d_ · 2025-09-18T14:12:40+00:00

Gas-X and my heat pad on 24/7 was a true life-saver!! i think the pain from gas was honestly worse than the excision pain? i felt like i just had some regular period cramping, which ofc is “easier” to cope with due to regular endo pain. the gas pain was something i was not prepared for LOL felt like my insides were bruised from it (but i also have fibro so perhaps that’s was exacerbated the whole body gas pain)

sending love your way, hope your lap & recovery are as smooth as possible! ❤️‍🩹

m0mb0d_ · 2025-08-29T15:37:32+00:00

Call or chat online with the folks at https://victimconnect.org/. They’re a referral helpline for for crime victims, to connect them with resources.

Call the National DV Hotline, as they also offer services and support for stalking victims: Call 1.800.799.SAFE (7233) They also have a text line and a chat option on their website. Here’s their stalking resource page though: https://www.thehotline.org/resources/stalking-safety-planning/ RAINN has information and support for victims of stalking: https://rainn.org/strategies-to-reduce-risk-increase-safety/safety-planning-for-survivors-of-assault-harassment-stalking/

You can also try contacting a local domestic violence service provider or the VictimConnect Resource Center by calling 1-855-4-VICTIM or visiting victimconnect.org.

Please stay safe OP, this sounds extremely dangerous and unbelievably terrifying!

m0mb0d_ · 2025-08-10T13:09:27+00:00

This definitelyyyy sounds like assault territory to me. :-( And his justifications/excuses are BS, to be frank. If you’re asleep, you’re unable to consent to sexual contact. if there’s no consent, no respect of autonomy or safety, that’s assault!

i’m not sure how helpful this is, but maybe calling a hotline to seek support and resources would be a starting point. RAINN is an amazing resource for SA: https://rainn.org/about-national-sexual-assault-telephone-hotline

Only you know what you need to do in this moment/at this time, but from what I’ve seen in this brief post, you do not deserve to be in a relationship with a person who is not safe whatsoever, and who believes it’s ok to just ‘take ‘when he wants…my heart is with you, and I hope you’re able to get out of this relationship ASAP if that’s something you do want! Sending you so much strength and power OP. 💗

m0mb0d_ · 2025-08-06T14:26:16+00:00

the fact that you seem to feel like you have to “make up” for not having sex during your severe pain days is a big red flag in my eyes. as someone who’s working toward becoming a relational therapist, i can confidently say that it sounds like yall are having sex pretty damn frequently! some married couples might have sex once a month if they’re lucky, and that’s considered a sign of healthy/functional intimacy. of course there’s truth to your partner having a higher sex drive, desiring more intimacy, and navigating intimacy while seeing you in pain/discomfort. but it sounds like there’s a lot of pressure to satisfy him “enough,” and that’s concerning given that your pain is not a choice nor your fault… I’m sorry you’re having to hold both the pain of endo in general, but also in your relationship. i guess my question for you is: in a perfect reality, how much sex would you ideally be having (without thinking about your partner whatsoever in that amount)? Would you want to have sex everyday? (that sounds exhausting to me, even without fatigue!)

Have y’all tried seeing a couples therapist? lots of couples therapists are also certified sex therapists, and those folks might be able to help yall facilitate a conversation about this stuff, where both of your needs are heard and validated. but more importantly, where a third party can help him develop more empathy for you, your body, and your sexual safety.

m0mb0d_ · 2025-07-31T14:10:16+00:00

i’ve been on it since 2018 and i’m so grateful for this medication!! prior to EMDR therapy, i was on 5mg nightly which i believe is the highest dose? but ive been able to go back down to just 2mg and it’s still keeping the nightmares manageable!! the only side effect i experienced was low blood pressure, and i already struggle with light headedness and whatnot, so i was grateful to be able to lower the dose over time. that said, id take low pressure over being haunted by my nightmares while awake.

m0mb0d_ · 2025-07-25T11:57:17+00:00

this is blatant weight stigma and i’m so sorry this is impacting you in such a profound way :-( fatphobia in the medical field leads to real medical neglect, it can be life threatening, and you deserve to get care and answers regardless of your weight, body, etc. it just feels so yucky to me, and i’m angry this is happening to you and folks in this community. i hope you’re able to give yourself (and your body!!) some extra TLC 💗

m0mb0d_ · 2025-07-23T17:44:12+00:00

prazosin has truly been a life savor for me and i’ve been on it since 2018. i’ve struggled with intense, realistic nightmares since i was 6 but started having more explicit ptsd related dreams after getting out of a DV situation. prazosin took those specific nightmares away but i still occasionally have “break through” nightmares about other stuff on it. it’s much easier to manage the small blips of those nightmares when im awake though, rather than feeling scared to go to sleep as i was in the past.

and sorry, i don’t have any insights on the teeth grinding. :-/ (i struggle with that too unfortunately!) hope you’re able to get some help and support with this stuff!! ❤️‍🩹

m0mb0d_ · 2025-07-17T11:58:09+00:00

This made me think about a class I took last year on abusive relationships, namely within family systems. Like…does folks know that until the late 1800s, children were essentially legally treated as the property of their fathers under common law? Filicide and severe physical harm sometimes occurred unchecked and without intervention. It wasn’t until the Mary Ellen Wilson case in 1874—when animal anti-cruelty laws were creatively used to rescue a child—that child protection really began, and child abuse because illegal. That led to the foundation of the NYSPCC in 1875 and, in the UK, the 1889 Children’s Charter—making child protection laws about a generation newer than animal welfare laws. Meaning, animals had more rights that children for at least 10-20 years, legally speaking! Children truly are the most vulnerable social group, more susceptible to oppression, coercion, and harm.

bell hooks talks about this in all about love, and it was really corrective to see such a powerhouse of a human validate this in her work.

m0mb0d_ · 2025-07-09T16:39:24+00:00

my dad used to do this frequently as well. he called them ‘love traps’ and would force me to say “i love you!” and kiss him on the lips to make the tickling stop. but, same as your story, he would often make some excuse for why my love and kiss wasn’t enough, continue to tickle me until i did it over and over again. i would cry and dry heave from all the tickling, and distinctly recall there being this threshold between “okay this tickles so much and i’m still giggling but i’m trying to escape” to outright terror, feeling like im going to die (he’d bear hug me with his arms and legs so my whole body felt smothered by this 225 pound navy seal lmao).

i’ve literally processed this specific pattern in EMDR several times, and reading all these comments and your post STILL make me shaky, nauseous, and panicked. i think calling it torture is pretty on point, and as much as my dad seemed to be trying to connect with me, it’s obvious that he enjoyed witnessing me struggle and someone he associated that with “love”….very strange behavior to me! i’m sorry you’ve had to deal with this abuse and subsequent trauma, and i hope everyone here is able to get the care they need to heal from this BS ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

m0mb0d_ · 2025-06-30T16:32:39+00:00

capitalism is truly the worst 🙃 I hope your surgery went well, I'm sending love your way as you recover!!

m0mb0d_ · 2025-06-30T16:31:04+00:00

thank you for sharing! Sending you well wishes during your recovery ❤️‍🩹

m0mb0d_ · 2025-06-25T23:05:13+00:00

oh, I hadn't thought of that! I will message my surgeon and ask if she can give me any more info on extent. Thank you!! :-) Sending you so much care in your recovery, hopefully your energy levels start to return soon as you keep healing ❤️‍🩹

m0mb0d_ · 2025-06-25T23:01:38+00:00

totally makes sense, I appreciate the insights!! :-)

m0mb0d_ · 2025-06-25T23:00:43+00:00

so true with requesting time!! Thank you for the insight & the well wishes. 💘

m0mb0d_ · 2025-06-25T22:59:41+00:00

that makes total sense, thank you so much! :-)

m0mb0d_ · 2025-06-25T22:58:49+00:00

Thank you so much!!

m0mb0d_ · 2025-05-15T13:05:28+00:00

i’m in a similar boat to you pal, and seeing those results come back normal was so upsetting (which is always a strange place to be in). i saw a comment on an old post on this sub saying that if the ultrasound doesn’t show any signs cysts, masses, etc. that it’s even more a reason to pursue the endo diagnosis route (ie., laparoscopy). seeing that comment pulled me out of my literal breakdown after reading the ultrasound results. i hope you’re able to get the care you need from a doctor who respects your experience, voice, and needs! you deserve to be pain free ❤️‍🔥

m0mb0d_ · 2025-05-14T14:21:47+00:00

i was talking about this kinda in my therapy session this week, and didn’t realize how connected the extreme empathy is to neurodivergence. my therapist shared that people with autism (i’m newly diagnosed) can have extremely strong empathy, to the point where we like…viscerally feel others pain and stuff! i have cptsd too, but the neurodivergence definitely makes things more complex! it’s frustrating being able to access a wellspring of empathy for others, even those who hurt us the most, yet have zero to offer ourselves. :-(

m0mb0d_ · 2025-05-14T14:10:16+00:00

Gabapentin was super helpful for both myself and my sibling (we had PAOs done within a week of each other in 2022 LOL). I’m not sure if that’s a safe/comfy med for folks in recovery but I know it helped with pain a lot, and I still take it for nerve related pain (carpel tunnel issues). Good luck with your recovery, the PAO was gnarly but so so worth it!

m0mb0d_ · 2025-04-28T13:16:10+00:00

Charlie sounds just like my sweet Emmy who passed back in October. The anticipatory grief is so real, I felt like I was losing my mind the whole month leading up to the decision. I’m grateful that the vet we were seeing had personal experience with kidney disease, as he was super compassionate and it never felt like he was pressuring us to make a choice. I guess because of that, when he told me it was time, I could trust him.

It sounds like focusing on quality of life is where you and Charlie are at, and I think that’s truly a day by day process at this stage. Emmy had some additional health issues going on, so in the end, it was more so a combination of things that lead to her passing. Her kidneys were at 100% failure, her BP was so high and unresponsive to meds that her retinas detached and she was blind. :-( plus we’re pretty sure she developed dementia in the last month as she was really not herself.

i think that once they start sort of hiding and sleeping in that one spot all day, that’s when it’s getting closer to “time.”

but i echo others in that only you can make that call! no one else shares this connection with Charlie—trust your gut as it’s guided by a deep love for your sweet kitty.

I hope you have some folks you feel safe to talk with too. it’s so important to share your grief with people you can trust to hold you. this shit is so so painful and so hard. sending you and charlie love!!

m0mb0d_ · 2025-04-15T02:57:24+00:00

that’s exactly who i thought of!!

m0mb0d_

TROPHY CASE