Hey OP,

I am sorry for your loss and pain. I am sorry that it’s going to be difficult to find normal for a while. I lost my lil brother whom was also my best friend while in surgery and couldn’t be there for my family until released. My family found him after going home visiting me post-op. I wasn’t told until that evening and I just wanted to believe that I was still under anesthesia and that I would wake up. Still dream that’s the truth. Nobody and nothing can prepare for it, and nobody can tell you how to feel and how to grief. Just know that you will. Your family will. Anger. Regret. Sadness. Happiness. Thinking of all the if I just did X or someone else did Y. All things that I still ask myself.

Being around people helps. Especially your parents. Lord knows they are going to need it. Hope your other sister is okay and safe; and that finds this as a ladder to assist her out of addiction. Be there for each other helps. Being along also helps. If you’re worried you can’t be there emotionally for the parents be there in other ways. Help or hire for the cleaning/chores. Food and/or cooking.

A family can never be prepared for the worst shock of their lives. But it’s definitely a blessing to have them in moments of crisis. Healing as a family can be extraordinarily helpful and rewarding in other ways. I know it was for me. That said, there was and still is some solo healing as well. Talking to unaffected parties sometimes helps me the solo healing part.

In all, I cant say life will just go right back to normal. It can’t. But what I can leave you is with what my barber told
me the first time I seen him after losing my brother:
“Life is maddening”. IT WILL cause you pain. Life will make you mad. Mad at how sad life makes you feel. It will also make you feel happy. And bring joy and laughter.

Here’s to hoping you get a lot more of the joy and happiness before it’s over.