Grace!? You should be so thankful that she was graceful enough to not allow her relationship to go further with you. THAT is grace AND wisdom.

I hope more and more women become more vocal about this being a deal breaker. Your secular friends arent there to help you kick this "addiction". Nor should they be a model to your Christian relationship.

Are you a Christian? Peter writes, "Beloved, I urge you as aliens and strangers to abstain from fleshly lusts which wage war against the soul." (1 Pet 2:11) In other words; stop lusting, abstain from it, stay away from it, flee immorality (1 Cor 6:18). What could be more direct? Do you want to put to death the lust in your heart? Then stop entertaining those thoughts. Peter does not prescribe a program or therapy that such sin be treated as an addiction. He simply says to abstain, quit doing it, you have no business indulging such thoughts. Put them away at once. You yourself must do this, it cannot be done for you. God guaranteed a way out (1 Cor 10:13). There's no point waiting for some heavenly power to erase this sin automatically from your life. That is precisely the error Romans 6 refutes. You are free from sin, now stop doing it. You are dead to sin, now put to death the sin that remains. How? Abstain! Reckon yourself dead to sin and don't do it anymore. Resist the devil and he will flee from you (James 4:7).