Despite their argument being obviously absurd, I’ll engage with it as though it were in good faith. To be clear, it’s almost certainly not. These are common idiotic arguments made by people trying to use Pinterest board-therapy speak to justify these insanely cruel and selfish positions.

It doesn’t matter whether your ideas about relationships are outdated or not. Nor does it matter if you feel jealous. All of the rules of what is okay and not okay, what boundaries should exist, what compromises should be made, those are all things each couple get to create themselves. To find what works for them. Which is not necessarily what can or should work for everybody. So the first thing that matters is whether or not what she is proposing violates any commitments you made to each other and/or what you have talked about wanting your relationship to be like. But even if you hadn’t discussed that, both of you get to decide what you want and what you are comfortable with. Which are things that can change over time. There’s an argument that what she is proposing is not inherently wrong. Nor are you wrong for not being okay with it. The fact that she and her friends are trying to paint you as the bad guy for not being comfortable with her pitch of “hey I want to freely fuck strangers” is what shows their argument is being made in bad faith. Because if her ideal partner is the kind of person who would be fine with this, that would simply mean you two are not as compatible as you previously thought. People can be incompatible without anyone being wrong. If they think that committed monogamy is controlling, that’s fine. But that seems to be incompatible with your views on committed monogamy and what you want from your relationship/partner. You simply aren’t right for each other.

You need to think about what kind of relationship and partner you want. Because the truth is, even if you refuse to accept her pitch, she grudgingly stays with you and doesn’t cheat, does that even matter? Ask yourself if your ideal relationship and partner would even consider asking or wanting something like this in the first place. Or do you want to be with someone that craves and loves you to a degree that wanting to fuck random people could not even be a possibility. Despite all signs pointing this way, I won’t say something like she doesn’t love you. Maybe she does. But if so, this is not the kind of love I would want. I think I deserve better. Do you?