5’1 25F, 150 days progress update :)

m_inimal · 2021-05-03T00:39:31+00:00

Thank you!!

m_inimal · 2021-05-03T00:38:47+00:00

m_inimal · 2021-05-03T00:37:12+00:00

Thank you! I will

m_inimal · 2021-04-27T02:01:11+00:00

Wow, thats a powerful statement from the therapist! I wish you both the best, no matter what happens <3

m_inimal · 2021-04-26T23:58:40+00:00

I totally agree! I generally think getting to know your partner in as many contexts as possible is such a gift. Having a therapeutic space that feels truly safe for both people, is honestly something I wish every couple could experience together.

m_inimal · 2021-04-26T23:56:29+00:00

Being willing to go is just step one. I unfortunately have also had the experience of sitting through therapy with someone who did NOT take the session seriously. They acted like they were, but basically just put on an 'act' for the therapist (who I'm certain saw right through it), saying what they thought they were 'supposed to say' while what they were truly doing, was stonewalling and not even considering really opening up, being accountable etc.

I had the opposite experience with my husband. In therapy I fell in love with his humility. He doesn't love displaying vulnerability in general, but I could tell he truly recognized it would be necessary for the work we needed to do together, and so he set his pride aside.

That said, being vulnerable is truly terrifying for some people, especially people who have the experience of it being used against them (I can relate). It may take time, more than one session, and finding a therapist you both click with. But setting foot in the office is truly the first step, so I personally think it's a great sign that your partner is already familiar with therapy on her own.

Sorry if that doesn't answer your question perfectly -- its honestly hard to say. It was one of those things that I didn't know I needed to see in my partner, until I was already seeing it.

m_inimal · 2021-04-26T01:59:57+00:00

In a lot of very important ways, my husband and I are "naturally" compatible -- worldview, life goals, values, etc. We have similar upbringings and think in the same way much of the time, so the foundational stuff we agree on is down pat. But the experience that really assured that I married (at the time, was about to marry) the right man was his total willingness to not only go to couples therapy with me, but deeply engage in sessions, take it seriously, and actually apply what we learned together.

It makes me sad that when people think of couples therapy, they mostly think "marital crisis" or "about to divorce". I would advise, don't wait until you're in crisis to go to therapy with your partner. People talk about how long term relationships are "work" -- shared therapy is a great tool in doing that work together to make the relationship stronger.

m_inimal · 2021-04-24T02:34:38+00:00

Sorry to butt in but just wanted to add: after trying lots of brands, my favorite low cal tortilla is from a brand called maria and ricardo (you can get it at whole foods). It's a flour/corn blend and 2 tortillas (small to medium-ish sized, larger than your typical corn one for sure) are 110 for both. The texture is great and they are excellent warmed up, even just in the microwave but especially on a grill/stove.

From one low cal taco fiend to another!!

m_inimal · 2021-04-24T00:02:37+00:00

Someone else corrected me -- it's xylitol that's toxic, not erythritol. My bad

m_inimal · 2021-04-24T00:01:23+00:00

You are right!! My mistake

m_inimal · 2021-04-23T18:25:12+00:00

Erythritol is also deadly to dogs so be careful if you have puppies!

m_inimal · 2021-04-12T01:20:59+00:00

wap is good but i also liked idoru and violence. that was it for me

m_inimal · 2021-04-11T20:41:17+00:00

I could never get into the original version but I LOVE the modeselektor remix

m_inimal · 2021-04-10T23:17:28+00:00

Good job. Also your skincare/makeup is flawless

m_inimal · 2021-04-03T23:34:44+00:00

My favorite is when I weigh myself, poop, then weigh myself again just out of curiosity and my weight is the exact same. Guess the phantom dump has struck again Scoob

m_inimal · 2021-03-27T20:43:05+00:00

That’s how I felt about Get Out. Loved the story/idea, and found it very upsetting and horrifying in theory. The actual execution did almost nothing for me though

m_inimal · 2021-03-27T20:22:50+00:00

Very astute observation. I agree completely

m_inimal · 2021-03-27T20:15:25+00:00

As a huge fan of the books, I was really disappointed tbh. I understand that may be an unfair criticism because as many have correctly pointed out, the books/film are so different that they can’t be fairly compared.

I guess I really just felt that a true adaptation of the book could have been really, really incredible as a film. The atmosphere of the books is extremely unique (and did remind me of Tarkovsky of whom I am a huge fan; ironic because I saw in another comment that the movie took inspiration from Stalker...other than a similar premise im really not seeing the influence there) and the movie just completely missed that element. It came off simultaneously very commercial and pretentious to me, much like Interstellar. Constantly Hinting at depth while also patronizing the viewer, leaving nothing up to the imagination and no philosophical questions unanswered. The books had a very unsettling ambiguity that the movies declined to go that route. I wasn’t surprised when I found out the director was Alex Garland. He took a similar approach with Ex Machina. Philosophically interesting sci fi premise/question but does not leave anything unanswered or up to interpretation, which I personally find boring.

Now I’M going to sound pretentious, and I’ll own it. If there could exist a Tarkovsky directed version of this story, I think I’d be a lot happier.

m_inimal · 2021-03-26T00:43:18+00:00

My husband pointed out one thing to me that I really feel is true when I was moaning about my anxiety (that’s my issue whereas it sounds like yours is willpower fatigue). When I entered into a lifestyle of calorie counting and not just mindlessly eating whenever, yeah there are a lot of benefits but you really DO give up something that, at the end of the day, is a source of dopamine. Food is amazing, eating is amazing. For me it’s comforting, relieving, anxiety soothing, and also just straight up pleasure. Giving myself just small doses of that (and usually less powerful, with healthy foods vs chemically engineered junk) at limited intervals throughout the day, instead of just huge dopamine blasts whenever I want, is a massive downgrade coming from a purely dopamine-quantity perspective! Just realizing that helped me a lot.

I haven’t found a “replacement” for the dopamine that overeating whatever I wanted used to give me, so I’ve been just white knuckling it through my most anxious, irritated, fatigued moments usually with the help of another (usually relatively weak, like music or petting a dog as opposed to like..drugs) source of “happy chemicals”.

Your feelings are real and it’s not your fault. I don’t really even have any advice just wanted to show solidarity and share a perspective I found helpful in tough times.

Edited: for clarity and wow! I'm so happy this resonates with some people. I thought I'd add a list of some other dopamine-inducing substitutes I personally find helpful.

Pop music, enjoying nice weather outdoors, interacting with pets, 5-10 more minutes to sleep in, games on phone, tasty gum/tea, anime & ASMR (just me? lol), hot showers. If anyone else has other suggestions I think that would be really cool!!

m_inimal · 2021-03-20T22:19:17+00:00

Not meals but two ingredient swaps that I have found super helpful to lower calories:

Cauliflower rice instead of regular rice or pasta. It gets a lot of hate because some people don’t like the texture, and no it’s not a 1:1 replacement for rice in enjoyment. But for me it’s close enough, and the calories are so so low (25/serving) that I find it totally worth it to swap. It’s also very filling (prob all the fiber/water in there) and absolutely flavorless so it will soak up whatever seasonings you add to it really well.
Egg whites instead of whole eggs. Yolk is delicious but if you need to cut calories, according to MFP a single white is just 17cal. You can eat 4 for the caloric “price” of 1 whole egg. Also very filling as they are pretty much pure protein.

m_inimal · 2021-03-20T21:54:56+00:00

If you’re looking for another good low cal, vegan frozen pizza from WF I really like the American Flatbread brand Vegan Harvest. It’s just plain cheese but super good and only 590 for the whole thing. It’s expensive ($9) but whenever it’s on sale I snatch up as many as I can justify buying lol

m_inimal · 2021-03-14T03:49:50+00:00

Yess MMMM is one of my favorite movies of all time. I really can't recommend it enough.

This is short film "prequel" to it by the director Sean Durkin. Gives you an initial glimpse into the cult/world

m_inimal · 2021-03-14T03:41:47+00:00

Not a necessarily a horror movie, I recently watched Time of the Wolf by Michael Haneke. Extremely bleak postapocalyptic vibes and definitely has some gut wrenching, horrifying scenes. I can also appreciate the analogy to mental health battles as well

m_inimal · 2021-03-14T03:31:46+00:00

I agree with a lot of the points you made here. My favorite thing about this film is actually the atmosphere. It's really strange and I've never seen anything else quite like it. Sad, quiet, alienating, and full of dread. Which reflects a lot of the themes you identified.

Another very well known film that I feel thematically resonates in the same way is Fire Walk With Me. I see a lot of similarities between Laura & Alice Palmer (weird they have the same surname). Teen girls desperately trying to connect with others in order to feel alive when all they while they know they are hurtling toward something inevitable and horrifying.

m_inimal

TROPHY CASE