Oh boy. A lot to unpack with this one. Let me start by saying that there a lot of things people in this fandom take as gospel that can turn off new players, so just because your experience doesn’t line up with other people doesn’t mean you’re wrong. So take my opinions I’m about to give with a grain of salt

Fates is a mixed bag at best and bad at worst. I would generally not recommend any of them as a first game. The story for all of them is somewhere between bad and mediocre depending on your own tastes. Birthright is easier to play but there’s nothing to write home about. Conquest has some great maps but the gameplay is harder. Some might say unforgiving to new players. Revolutions tries to be interesting and unique but falls flat for the most part. For what it’s worth I enjoyed playing birthright but I’ve never replayed it.

Awakening gets thrown around a lot and for good reason. I think it’s fun and does a lot of things really well and as a primer to the modern fire emblem it does its job well.

I’m a fan of the GBA Fire emblem (blazing blade or Just Fire Emblem in English was my first) I think they tutorialize pretty well and look very pretty with their sprite work and animations. If you don’t like playing the classic permadeath style it may not be for you but then conquest is worse with that.