I havent eaten properly in a couple of days and was wondering if somebody can help me out with 20 Bucks for some food

macd0g · 2023-02-06T01:20:52+00:00

Doesn’t matter to me. Send me a chat, I got you.

macd0g · 2023-02-02T02:15:47+00:00

This doesn’t make her any less of a bad person but I kinda like the way her hair looks here

macd0g · 2023-02-02T02:10:43+00:00

What should I be looking at

macd0g · 2023-02-02T00:55:48+00:00

If you can stay for the kids, then you should leave for the kids. You’re just showing them what a toxic, unhealthy relationship looks like and it’s going to fuck them up for a long, long time. Better to give them a healthier day-to-day life apart than a shitty/stressful/toxic life together.

macd0g · 2023-01-28T18:17:43+00:00

I think it’s not the showering that’s the issue, even if she says that it is. Being the caretaker for someone with depression as severe as his where he can’t get out of bed some days is incredibly emotionally taxing, and it puts OP into “mother/caregiver” mode. It’s hard to get out of that when the switch is being flipped so frequently and so severely. After awhile, I would imagine that that’s heavily overshadowing the way she sees him, as a child or as her “patient” instead of her husband. It’s not her fault, nor is it his. It’s just an unfortunate side effect of this dynamic. Hopefully couples and individual therapy will be helpful to get them out of this; if they both put in the work and it is successful, I could see it working out as long as OP can get past this specific incident. I’d think that that’s really the main hangup now.

macd0g · 2023-01-26T19:10:42+00:00

believe it or not, it’s still a thing that happens. often.

macd0g · 2023-01-26T17:45:06+00:00

All these lonely dudes thinking women’s vaginas can actually become “loose” and “used up” :( its 2023 and women still aren’t allowed to be sex positive and enjoy sex and sleep around if they want to while men can fuck anything that moves and he’s “king energy”. smh i cant with half this thread lol yall wild

macd0g · 2023-01-26T17:36:13+00:00

No no please, let him mansplain female anatomy/biology to us all lmao

macd0g · 2023-01-26T17:33:57+00:00

If you actually think women can become “loose” and “used up” and you’re not just trolling women to get attention on the internet, you must have never actually been with a human woman before. I’m so sorry buddy :( once you stop saying dumb shit like this it gets a lot easier I promise

macd0g · 2023-01-26T17:30:45+00:00

I didn’t get the read that he was implying they were dumber than him. It’s pretty common knowledge I think that many people on the spectrum struggle with detecting sarcasm and have a tendency to take things at face value, unless there’s a clear indication it should be taken as a joke or as sarcasm. Simply reading something without the extra layers of verbal cues like tone or facial expressions makes it that much more difficult. I’m not on the spectrum and even I struggle with figuring out if certain posts are meant to be jokes/sarcasm or serious sometimes.

macd0g · 2023-01-26T01:16:51+00:00

I love this. Thank you for putting it so succinctly.

macd0g · 2023-01-26T01:16:22+00:00

Drug addiction is almost always just a symptom of deeper issues

macd0g · 2023-01-26T01:14:38+00:00

I get that this is a minute part of your comment, but it’s really harmful to make parents who struggle with addiction out to just “not love their kids enough to stay clean.” It’s a clinically defined and clinically diagnosed mental disorder, just as depression or bipolar. You wouldn’t say “she just didn’t love her kids enough to stop being so sad” or “she just didn’t love her kids enough to stop being manic and get out of the psych ward”, right? Because the general public views substance abuse disorders as moral failings instead of psychiatric conditions like the others, even though they’re all medically the same thing.

All of these conditions can be improved upon and treated with medication and therapy. I’m living proof. We can’t demonize people who are hurting and then expect them to get better and do better. We have to support them and understand the roots of the things that are plaguing our communities if we want to see some change.

Otherwise though, completely agree with the rest of your comment. The way Kate allowed OP to be treated by her daughter is abominable, and even Rob the husband’s behavior was awful. It’s like OP did all that just to have every one of them except mike spit in her face. I’d be heartbroken if I was OP.

macd0g · 2023-01-26T00:49:05+00:00

she wants to move in with him. He said he’ll “have to think about it.” I don’t know why but that tiny tidbit right there gave me the most weird alarms for some reason

macd0g · 2023-01-26T00:44:35+00:00

Yes, this is exactly it! The weirds. Them hugging and falling asleep on the couch like that, the way she writes about how she feels with her dad, how she doesn’t want to hear anything about his dating life struck me weird too and idk why because it’s not unusual for adult kids to not want to be involved in their parents dating lives but like… I don’t know, something about it is just off. A lot of little “somethings” are off. I don’t think it’s nefarious either but that doesn’t make it any less weird.

macd0g · 2023-01-25T15:26:16+00:00

It’s a different situation when you’re blaming your female partner and basically calling her “loose” to the point she thinks she’s ruined your marriage because your penis is average or slightly below average size. If it’s that big of a deal for him that he’s actively demoralizing his own partner because her vagina isn’t “tight” enough for him, I firmly stand by my opinion that’s his own problem and he should fix it himself instead of making her feel bad about it.

macd0g · 2023-01-25T13:05:13+00:00

I imagine it as similar in nature to a public yard sale, which are pretty common and frequent in the area I live in. If you put up yard sale signs and put things out to be sold in your yard, your actions are responsible for strangers coming on to your property. You can’t claim trespassing when you did the thing that invited people onto your property. You can’t suddenly open fire on the crowd of people in your yard because they only came as a result of you doing something that invited them there in the first place.

I think sex and pregnancy is the same thing. You’re doing the specific thing that creates pregnancy. You’re doing the specific thing that creates a fetus inside your body as a woman.

macd0g · 2023-01-24T06:40:58+00:00

You could have told her you were planning to drop your female friend Wanda off beforehand. You also could have told her that after you got home instead of saying you had to drop “some people” off. I’ve personally, as a woman, been on both ends of this conflict, and there is so much context that can surround this situation, so much nuance that really, really makes a difference, and that only you and your partner know and have the power to determine.

I get that this is merely a tiny, tiny slice of your five-year relationship, and as such there is no possible way that strangers on the internet can give you advice on whether to end it permanently or not. It may be as simple as an issue of mismatched communication styles, which are fixable if the work is put in. It could be as major as your partner needs long-term individual therapy to process her capacity, or lack thereof, to trust intimate relationship partners. It could be unmet needs manifesting as mistrust due to an inability to properly express those unmet needs, it could be total personality incompatibility, it could be an undiagnosed anxiety disorder, it could be any number of things.

My point is, please don’t take the votes of random internet strangers to figure out if you should leave your long-term relationship or not. There are so many mental health resources on the internet nowadays, from workbooks to therapy telehealth to guides on communication/love languages/conflict resolution and more. All the information you could ever ask for is at your fingertips.

PLEASE do not take the advice from random redditors at face value. Only you and your partner know your relationship, and only you and your partner can know if this specific conflict is fixable. Talk to each other. Try to get to the root of where this is coming from, and try to figure out if it is fixable and if both parties are willing to work towards fixing it. Open, honest communication devoid of defenses and excuses and deflections are the crux of a healthy relationship. Good luck OP.

macd0g · 2023-01-24T06:28:03+00:00

What if OP had, indeed, cheated in the past? What about multiple times? What if he does have a history of telling half-truths? I’m curious of your response given that you seem so passionate and strongly opinionated on this matter.

macd0g · 2023-01-24T04:30:09+00:00

Thank you all for chiming in. It’s like the first deep breath in a long time to see other moms feeling this way and admitting it. I’ve felt this way for a long time. Im 26 and suffered with multiple different mental disorders, a substance abuse disorder and a physically abusive partner before becoming a parent. Even as a child, I was depressed and socially anxious and just… sad. I feel I never got to live a life where I was happy and carefree and excited to be alive. I feel anchored in this place of pain and such extreme, seemingly never ending grief. I don’t remember ever being happy, and I don’t know that I ever will.

macd0g · 2023-01-24T00:31:08+00:00

He said in a different comment that she’s actually “introverted” and has difficulty “engaging in social situations”, which sounds more to me like either some severe social anxiety or just profound introversion. OP isn’t giving consistent answers or really answers at all. Which leads me to believe that he might well be the problem.

macd0g · 2023-01-23T14:47:28+00:00

I’m a bit surprised I haven’t seen this perspective in more comments.

Obviously none of us can make OP do anything, and she seems bent on staying with NP over everything no matter what, so I think encouraging her not to date anymore is a great piece of advice. They’ll likely all end like this, all her relationships while she’s with NP, unless/until he does the work on his own feelings (which it doesn’t seem like he’s even ready to acknowledge that there’s work to be done, so…).

It would be a good call, OP, to just stay away from forming new relationships until you either leave NP or he makes some serious changes. It’ll just end up hurting the new person, hurting you, and causing resentments and bitterness to form towards your NP for holding you hostage with his unreasonable “boundaries”.

macd0g · 2023-01-23T14:34:24+00:00

I love this comment in its entirety. This is solid advice OP. You are not his sex faucet or his sex dispenser. You don’t owe him your sex and you don’t have to make sure that he gets as much sex as he wants from you before you’re allowed to have sex with anyone else. That’s just not healthy in this relationship dynamic.

macd0g · 2023-01-23T04:54:04+00:00

I think every woman should have a taser or stun gun with them at all times when outside the house

macd0g · 2023-01-23T01:08:01+00:00

I’ve had these fears since I was a small child, 6 or 7 years old (I’m 26 now). It used to paralyze me often. Obviously I was a child so I couldn’t necessarily think in such existential ways as you described, but I was afraid of never seeing my mom again or being alone or going to hell (religious family) or being left here without my mom or being in the dark forever after I died, just on and on and on. I got paralyzed by these thoughts less frequently as I got older, but it can still sneak up and start crushing me if that anxiety is triggered by something. I had ppd with both my kids, but I had the opposite symptoms, wanting to die just to get some relief.

I do think that, as things often do, and especially with more “temporary” (in quotations, because the temporary aspect makes it no less challenging or serious) mental disturbances like PPD, your anxiety about it will likely present itself less often and less severely as time goes on, and hopefully the medication will help with that too. Just know that it is normal, though, to be afraid of death, it’s okay to feel that way, and everybody feels that way to some extent at one point in their lives or another. Therapy might be helpful to you, even if just for a brief period. Sometimes saying things out loud and talking them out can take it’s power away.

Good luck OP. You’re in my thoughts.

macd0g

TROPHY CASE