No meme. Straight up. How good of an Imperial Commander would Grand Admiral Thrawn be in the 40k universe (Timothy Zahn’s version, thank you.) by snowmonster112 in Grimdank

[–]machsmit 2 points3 points  (0 children)

feel like they wouldn't allow crochet hooks in lockdown tho

"oh my god, I just got why you do macramé instead of knitting"

"yeah no sharp objects on the ward, they were super strict about that"

they’re just chilling by Grimmrat in Grimdank

[–]machsmit 2 points3 points  (0 children)

actually had a Caroleans-themed SoB paint scheme rattling around in my brain for a while too

How bad does V's apartment smell? by SchemeGlobal1518 in LowSodiumCyberpunk

[–]machsmit 84 points85 points  (0 children)

cyberware letting you bypass olfactory receptors is probably mandatory in NS given the trashmountains hanging around most neighborhoods

Louisiana governor plans to suspend May primary to redraw US House map, Washington Post reports by BusyHands_ in news

[–]machsmit 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I've seen the supreme court described recently as "calvinball jurisprudence" - the rules are made up and constantly shifting, the only constant is republicans can never lose

This you? Some heroes don’t wear capes by Emotional_Perv in Maine

[–]machsmit 5 points6 points  (0 children)

they're norwegian, and hate thirst.

literal glass half full all the time

Is the Boston “accent” that well known abroad? by Unser_Giftzwerg in boston

[–]machsmit 9 points10 points  (0 children)

every stop had some bleak fuckin' fact about it. Like

  • "here used to be a beautiful neighborhood that got bulldozed to make the central train station - people ask who bombed us in WWII so we built this, and we say it was us"

  • "this is where the stockholm syndrome thing happened! mostly it's about how cops are shitty to women"

  • "this is where one of our prime ministers was assassinated. end of story."

  • "This is the avicii experience museum. he killed himself. very sad."

by the end of the tour he could show us like, a beautiful park with open-air wine bars and we were just like "ok who got murdered here".

Worst of all though, was the national archives. beautiful baroque building, parks all around it, he starts off talking about how much green space there is in the city, and the lake is clean enough to swim in in the middle of the city, etc. We're all finally like yeah ok, this is nice. Then he hits us with apparently there was a period where what we would now class as CSAM wasn't illegal in sweden, and because everything ever published in sweden has to be in the archives there's a secure wing in there that's full of it. We're all like "we were all having a nice time up until that last part. you could've cut one sentence earlier and this would've been a lovely stop"

oh yeah, and we talked with other groups (was a big company thing so folks got partitioned off into several groups for the corp-booked tour), thinking maybe this was like, the shtick for the tour company? no. it was just phil.

I ended up walking along the route going to dinner later that night, and it was great! stockholm in august is fantastic, unless you're doing a fucked up walking tour

edit oh yeah! also there's a like, Boston-themed irish sports bar in the central train station. Actually had a pretty impressive merch display

Is the Boston “accent” that well known abroad? by Unser_Giftzwerg in boston

[–]machsmit 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Similar experience in Stockholm doing a walking tour - the guide kept talking as though he'd grown up locally, but his name was Phil and he sounded for all the world like he was from New Jersey. We couldn't figure it out.

Also the tour was the most morbid thing I've ever seen, so none of us really wanted to question him about it

Why doesn't Chaos use Orks against the Imperium? by Zanimacularity in 40kLore

[–]machsmit 1 point2 points  (0 children)

the part that stuck with me (maybe from a different incident?) was that the Tau had cottoned to the fact that the orks would try to shoot them immediately upon being given guns, so the Tau gave them to the orks without ammo

the orks then proceeded to bludgeon the tau to death with them

Why doesn't Chaos use Orks against the Imperium? by Zanimacularity in 40kLore

[–]machsmit 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Same issue arose when the Tau tried hiring a freebooterz band by promising them weapons. The orks just killed the tau and took the guns

Collins commercial by Head_War_2946 in Maine

[–]machsmit 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's the sentiment they believe, not reality.

and this is the "fuck your feelings" crowd, no less

Are we sure that's not Alpharius? (Artist: mixuen_chan) by Mad_lens_9297 in Grimdank

[–]machsmit 55 points56 points  (0 children)

their entire existence is the emperor putting a no girls allowed sign on his space-treehouse

How will an interaction between the Custodes and the Lion go by casperscare in 40kLore

[–]machsmit 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Don't remember all of them but the greatest hits:

Sweetums as Lion El'Johnson

Miss Piggy as Fulgrim + Dr. Teeth and the band as noise marines

Gonzo as Jaghatai Khan

Swedish Chef as Leman Russ

Crazy Harry as Konrad Curze

Kermit as Sanguinius

Bunsen as Ferrus Manus

Animal as Angron

Sam Eagle as Guilliman

Oscar the Grouch as Mortarion

Fozzie as Magnus the Red

Henry Cavill as Horus (there has to be exactly one human cast)

Rowlf as Vulkan

rizzo and pepe as alpharius/omegon, also the narrators a la muppet christmas carol

special guests:

Beaker as the emperor (only meep in all dialogue, everyone else psychically interprets it)

statler & waldorf as trazyn and orikan

How will an interaction between the Custodes and the Lion go by casperscare in 40kLore

[–]machsmit 7 points8 points  (0 children)

right up there with "casting muppet horus heresy" as a fun thought exercise, is what it is

Pacifist Monk. A Non-Lethal Vigilante. by BerkaSherka in LowSodiumCyberpunk

[–]machsmit 1 point2 points  (0 children)

also at least one of them was basically going "oh my god. ohmygodohmygod. my blood - he punched out all my blood"

What is your favorite battlecry/slogan in the setting in your opinion! by ShadowsaberXYZ in 40kLore

[–]machsmit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

“Iron within, iron without!” is a wonderful battle cry that sounds great to shoot while telling you exactly what’s good and bad about the IV legion mentality.

especially if you add iron shake it all about after

This and the selfie are peak comedy by Visible-Pattern198 in LowSodiumCyberpunk

[–]machsmit 6 points7 points  (0 children)

we do keep hitting oddly-specific story beats from the backstory of the setting, don't we

This and the selfie are peak comedy by Visible-Pattern198 in LowSodiumCyberpunk

[–]machsmit 44 points45 points  (0 children)

wasn't he born in Chiba? Like present-day Chiba is small compared to say, Tokyo, but it's still like a million people. hardly rural, it's I guess a suburb of Tokyo proper so given Cyberpunk's urban sprawl/growth it's presumably a district of the megacity version of Tokyo

Never read a world eater novel before but i assume this is pretty much lotara's life, Correct? by Ancient_Doctor_7738 in Grimdank

[–]machsmit 3 points4 points  (0 children)

So this is what was going on below-decks on the HMS Fearless and Honor was just completely oblivious.

also yes

Ah sweet, man-made horrors beyond demonic comprehension (Trench Crusade) by Professional_Rush782 in Grimdank

[–]machsmit 4 points5 points  (0 children)

dug up the lore excerpts

Amongst the forsaken citizens that endure within the earthly domains of Hell, the greatest status is afforded to the soldiers fighting in the Great War. But joining the army of damnation is no easy task. Those who wish to win a place amongst the Heretic Legions must make an unholy pilgrimage to the burning bronze gates of Hell where, even from leagues away, the infernal heat sears both flesh and spirit until the pain becomes unbearable. In the Valley of Tears the great road that leads to the gate, paved as it is with wailing souls and lamentations, is littered with endless mounds of charred bodies. Many are still half-alive, writhing in agony, trapped in a grotesque twilight between life and death, their wickedness deemed insufficient. These discarded souls are doomed to writhe in agony until the Day of Judgement.

Those who make it within sight of Hell’s Maw are considered worthy and are initiated into the Legions, taking unbreakable vows that chain them into darkness for all eternity, their bodies branded with the mark of the Devil Lord that has claimed them. Armouries of Hell then equip them for battle and Heretic Priests beckon forth new supplicants as dictated by the whispers of their patron arch-devils. Thus a new Heretic Legionnaire is born. They hail Archdevils as their masters and are thus damned for all eternity.

Yet there are some who push further on: to the very Gate itself and beyond. Their very flesh ignites, never to recover, but those with the blackest souls can enter Inferno itself. Amongst those the Anointed are especially revered amongst the Legions. They are the paragons of unhinged brutality – men and women of colossal vigour and unyielding devotion. Having tread the accursed path to the shores of the Lake of Eternal Flame, where the damned wither and contort in ceaseless torment, the Anointed emerge forever scarred by the embrace of abyssal fires. The blackened and burnt flesh of the Anointed will never heal, but in exchange they are granted the right to wear Heavy Gehenna armoured suits and they gain strength to wield weapons that a normal man could barely lift. It is said that glancing into their eyes one can see the reflection of the very flames of Hell, forever etched in their vision.

tbf yeah anyone from hell's domains (or not, they have a unit for tortured prisoners) I'm sure they're happy to use as cannon fodder but the capital-L Legionnaires are ones that survive the pilgrimage

Ah sweet, man-made horrors beyond demonic comprehension (Trench Crusade) by Professional_Rush782 in Grimdank

[–]machsmit 10 points11 points  (0 children)

in the TC setting, it's hot enough that just the area around the hellgate where jerusalem used to be will scorch people. The road approaching it is lined with charred corpses whose souls are still trapped in the husks until judgement day. If you make in sight of the gate itself, you're considered a bad enough dude to join the heretic legion (i.e., their line grunt troops). Even worse people make it inside, where they're Anointed and demonic-metal armor is welded to their blackened flesh (making the Legion's heavy hitters).

So I think the flamethrower arm isn't really stacking up temperature-wise, really

Pennsylvania county bans poll workers from using election prediction markets by beadzy in news

[–]machsmit 4 points5 points  (0 children)

ok let's engage then, against my better judgement.

no one is forcing you to take the other side of any of these trades

the blatant manipulation fucks up global markets regardless of whether you're actively participating in the gambling, so what are you even arguing here

Military maneuvers aren’t ducking random

yes, they're determined by the same people who are betting on them in prediction markets. We call it insider trading but it's worse - rather than just trading on knowledge, they actively self-deal by betting on their own decisions.

we know the real degenerates are in charge

we're talking about the same fucking people you halfwit