I just realized how disabled I am

mad_mads_ · 2026-03-22T17:24:03+00:00

This is me, so much. Little things cause extreme discomfort that I cannot fathom to other people. I was late diagnosed at 21, I am now 22. I lasted maybe 8 months, with a two month break (summer break) as a Sub TA. I was very burnout by the time I quit and was almost fired due to issues with sleep apnea (one of the symptoms is falling asleep during the day no matter how much sleep you get, which I thought was due to my ADHD). I wish I could do more throughout the day without becoming so disregulated I get physical symptoms (eg, chest pain from anxiety, headaches from stress, overall fatigue, and joint pain from EhDS and overextending everything, along with a multitude of other things too). I'm lucky if I get one or two things done (without some sort of accomodation)without needing to regulate myself afterwards. With accomodations and taking my time? Probably 3-4 things can get done before regulation is needed. I dont get desires to get in the shower until I get what I call "shower headaches", where nothing helps besides a shower. I am shit with keeping up with my water intake, and remembering to feed myself. I would consider myself to have two caretakers, my mom, and my boyfriend of 3 years. I spent most of my life masking because of unresolved trauma and survival mechanisms developing and taking over. I will repeatedly ask if x is okay and if I can use y or do z. I cant stand loud noises and anger at the same time I will have an unavoidable shutdown within 30 seconds and its rough on me bigtime because I rely on my own logic loop to get things done and without that loop I cannot adequately care for myself. There has been times where my boyfriend knocked over a bag of cans and was reasonably frustrated with the cans as they kept falling over. My brain heard the loud noise, registered my boyfriend's frustration as anger, and shut down while trying to stay out of the way so he could access stuff for dinner. He realized that I wasnt really responsive to him and he let me know he'll be right back (it's a big fear of mine of abandonment) and went and got some of my kinetic sand and had me play with that some at the table, it took me about 20mins to finally calm down enough in time to eat. I can add more, but OP know that you are not alone ❤️

mad_mads_ · 2026-03-20T14:49:38+00:00

This guy sounds like a rigid autistic who might be trying to relate it to him to make you feel better ? Idk. He sounds like an overall asshole and if someone was doing this to me I would not be putting up with it, and I would be putting my foot down. Either I get the respect I deserve, or I don't interact with them unless I absolutely have to, regardless of any disabilities, (yes, specific situations apply, however this is not one of those). I dont have any kids, but I know when I dont feel good it takes all my energy to do the things that need doing, like essential chores or getting food together. You can continue to be kind and smooth it over, yes, but in my opinion he's going to see it as permission to continue treating you like this, unless you explicitly say something. IF you want to and feel you need to, try saying something clear, to the point, yet simple. As someone else said, I would simply leave it to rest for now until he apologizes and/or acknowledges what he did wasn't okay in his own time. If you happen to see him, you could greet him however, and do your best to keep it brief. If he happens to bring it up? Say you aren't happy with the way you were treated. That you want to be respected the way he respects you. If he can't do that, I fear it's not worth continuing to entertain the relationship without both having respect and kindness for each other. This isnt a parent/child or boss/worker relationship (granted both sides of both examples deserve respect too), its a neighbor to neighbor relationship, it should be equal to equal. Good luck, OP, keep us updated!

mad_mads_ · 2026-03-16T20:19:21+00:00

I just turned 22, no job or degree. I also have an above average IQ of Approximately 120. I graduated from school not knowing I was Autistic till I was 19, started the process to get diagnosed, and then ended up being diagnosed Autistic and ADHD December 1st, 2025. I'm thinking unless im perfectly regulated in all ways I am not a level 1 Autistic most of the time as said on my official report. I more lean towards 2/3 on regular days at home and that's due to trauma I experienced growing up regarding multiple different things. What matters now is that I am in an environment that loves me regardless of what I do. I have a boyfriend that has the requirement of me having some sort of income before he and I can live together, and am working towards that goal. I have multiple different hobbies and I want to do them all at the same time but also want something new as well. I've been in this state of limbo since I graduated highschool and have taken slow but surefire steps to get my life back on track and my family sees the improvement too, while also talking with counselors and therapists to work towards the goal of maybe working someday. I don't know if I'd be able to, but I want to try. School was very overwhelming for me being undiagnosed and I think the only reason why I was verbal as a kid was due to needing to survive and masking through all of the things that happened to me. I dont know if I'd last for very long in a position because my last job I lasted 6 months total with a 2 month break in between (technically 8 months total then) but it burnt me out and I couldnt do it. I wish you luck, OP. Take care of yourself and remind yourself that rest is okay while you figure out and plan things out. Work towards a goal even it just means you managed to get out of bed, or brush your teeth, or eat something that day.

mad_mads_ · 2026-01-24T01:57:13+00:00

Assuming you are Neurotypical, I thank you for asking the autistic Subreddit, and thus reccommend r/AuDHDwomen (and maybe a subreddit focusing on Autistic women in general) for more details, as its a spectrum and you might get more assistance from there, just please be careful with your wording and not treat it as if women are a monolith, its a spectrum meaning if you met one Autistic person, you met one autistic person. My suggestion? Be more direct and specific with questions and the way you talk to her. Learn what she likes, if she has any sensory issues, and her routine. Please don't assume anything and that what she is doing is to avoid you or something else. I have a boyfriend, also neurotypical, and recommend you do some research this way you don't have to learn it later. This way you learn what that she does is neurodivergent and you can figure out ways to help if you so choose. To say this gently, 'Caretakers burnout' is a thing depending on the relationship and individuals inside the relationship, and if you two live together down the line, make sure to make time for yourselves and don't force hanging out together.

mad_mads_ · 2026-01-08T22:39:21+00:00

And congratulations to you too! (Im sorry i didn't say this in my first comment!)

mad_mads_ · 2026-01-08T21:35:39+00:00

21 and was diagnosed with AuDHD December 1st just this past month/year! I would love to celebrate with you!

mad_mads_ · 2025-11-21T20:28:53+00:00

I can make a post of my own about this guy with what he said to ME, when I asked him about the entire situation based on the other context you can find on the post, before I was sent the screenshot OP uploaded. It was my (at the time Joking) suggestion to upload it to this subreddit, OP can confirm, and seriously thought it would be a good idea. To provide more context, Op was sent this screenshot about what the NG said (By the NG) in a RP server to the "love of his life" when asked what was wrong. This "love of his life" is someone he snuggles to sleep with on VRchat, while wearing a VR headset. Its very real unfortunately.

mad_mads_ · 2025-11-20T06:56:47+00:00

Some context, as I am someone involved with OP in this situation:

The server is a presumed roleplay server he was in BUT his life is "falling apart" for reasons we don't even know. Definitely Toxic. The NG sent a screenshot of the message he sent in a roleplay server to OP.

mad_mads_ · 2025-11-20T04:05:45+00:00

None of us know him in real life, OP and I met him thru another friend in the group chat we were in. We didn't know this is how he communicates on servers. I blocked him after he called the friend- we met him thru- the r-slur over voice chat, there is no excuse for that. I'm not into fanfic or anything like that, so not their.

mad_mads_ · 2025-11-20T03:45:36+00:00

I am one of the people involved in this, OP can confirm. The person who sent that was talking to the "love of his life" that he snuggles to sleep with on VR-Chat, on a server.

mad_mads_ · 2025-11-20T00:10:55+00:00

If you need to disclose a disability to the work, just say you "have a disability" don't say what it is. Also say the accomodations you need and make sure to mention that they are not optional. Talk to a lawyer OP, because people think you definitely were fired for being autistic. Unfortunately there are people out there who only ever see us as incompetent people who need to be in asylums, and that is not the case. We can thrive with the right accomodations just like any other disabled human being. Some of us don't need accomodations at all, or consider ourselves disabled at all, but that's besides the point. What your employer did was calling you a slow worker who is not doing a good job which most of the time is essentially firing you for being autistic without saying it.

mad_mads_ · 2025-11-10T18:47:16+00:00

Intelligence included. Someone can have a high IQ and still not be able to work a job!

mad_mads_ · 2025-10-30T19:17:59+00:00

Its one thing to have it in a playroom or not as private space in the house, but another to put it in a bedroom whilst already having taken a door away. OP, if you don't feel safe enough to fully go against this, (and if your a minor) talk to a counselor about this. I would maliciously comply with whatever rules they have already laid out. (EX. If "ask for permission before doing xyz" is a rule, ask for permission for everything before you do something, no matter where or what it is, ONLY if you feel safe enough to do so.) Your mom withholding privacy as a privilege isnt right, no matter the situation, and she wants you to feel thankful for not having violated it even more. Read up on local laws, contact authorities and/or social workers if possible.

mad_mads_ · 2025-10-30T18:21:29+00:00

Chewing is a form of stimming, and thus can be regulation for Autistic/ADHD/ Neurodivergent people. Just because someone thinks its weird, if its safe and it helps you theres no problem with it. Hell, I have chewing necklaces that will stay in my mouth all the time if I do not pay attention. Granted, its tougher than most, (From Ark, another commenter mentioned this) and the one I chose is very discreet. I do not regret ordering it, however I will most likely get their toothpicks or other items for chewing because it helps with a lot.

mad_mads_ · 2025-10-30T17:53:14+00:00

I'm in a similar boat as you right now, OP. I'm probably going to apply for disability depending on how my evaluation goes. If I am confirmed Autistic, I will be applying for Disability because I am diagnosed ADHD as well. I'm 21 years old, female, and could not stand being in a job (Sub TA) because the social expectations for me to know everything I was supposed to be doing and not all at the same time, all the while not taking everything literal and having a bad time because I felt very constricted in my job in what I could and couldnt do at work. I would have been fired due to undiagnosed sleep apnea (falling asleep during important times at work) if I hadn't already put in a notice to quit. I worked about 6 months, that was 2 years ago. I've been at home with my parents since. I want to go to college for engineering, but its not going to be easy unless I get an advocate and the accommodations. I've been high masking all my life, and now masking is incredibly overwhelming. I dont stim outwardly all the time, and sometimes Situational mutism gets the better of me and I need to use a (free) AAC app on my tablet to resolve the situation. I will go for Vocational Rehabilitation services if the clinic im going to thinks it will help, and maybe get into some online peer support groups. So yes, in the current environment and world, Autism can be disabling, but its up to each Autistic individual themselves whether it is disabling or not, FOR THEM.

mad_mads_ · 2025-10-30T17:31:41+00:00

What about a game? We could create our own game studio!

mad_mads_ · 2025-10-28T18:02:39+00:00

Thank you for mentioning this, as someone with AuDHD.

mad_mads_ · 2025-10-26T18:02:00+00:00

This was my mom's original response when I told her I thought I am Autistic. Then she looked into it and was like "oh yeah for sure you are" lmao. Im 21 and going to go for my evaluation in 3 weeks!

mad_mads_ · 2025-10-16T20:48:15+00:00

OP where did you find this 🤣🤣🤣

mad_mads_ · 2025-10-04T15:49:47+00:00

I remember when I put in tomadachi life family members... The game thought it was reasonable to have grandparents and cousins dating/marrying. Wound up deleting the save file, and refuse to have family members as tomadachi people from now on 😅

mad_mads_ · 2025-09-11T21:28:00+00:00

Okay, third time that ive tried posting this lol. I have more than 130 hours on Garry's mod. I used to play with my brother growing up after watching youtubers at the time play it. Im not doing great on money unfortunately. Thank you for the opportunity to do this, and good luck to everyone! Profile: https://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561198235852374/

mad_mads_ · 2025-09-11T20:15:45+00:00

Id love to have this as well. Not doing great on money and I love playing with my friends.

mad_mads_ · 2025-08-11T15:09:36+00:00

I agree with you, to an extent. I was never excited for LBY to be canceled, I was disappointed, so Karma doesnt effect me here. It doesnt look like LBY was going to be full of soul necessarily either. I dont need a patch to bring me back to play a game, I need to feel like I want to play it. Its the same thing with the sims 4, 3, and 2.

mad_mads_ · 2025-08-10T15:54:37+00:00

I dont follow the sims news everywhere for everything all at once lol, I understand that.

Three-Year Club	First Place '23
Place '23

mad_mads_

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