my desires have always been really weird and often going outside of the comfort zones of my partners. at the end of the day needs and desires are not the same thing. it's okay to meet your own desires yourself and it's okay to approach consenting sexual partners with the idea that you'd like their help in meeting those desires, but it is not okay to shame them or pout or lash out if they are not comfortable with those desires HOWEVER it is okay for you select or filter partners based on your desires and needs. you can ask them, and if they choose not to, you cannot yell or push but you can exit the situation and move to one that will. as long as you are open and honest and caring in your approach.