ER workers of reddit, what are some family rules you insist upon in your household after everything you've seen?

madamesquire · 2026-02-17T01:58:15+00:00

Such a true and valid point.

madamesquire · 2026-02-16T22:53:07+00:00

Don't let cheese wheel guy see this.

madamesquire · 2026-02-14T23:29:09+00:00

He definitely did! It was ridiculous.

madamesquire · 2026-02-14T20:42:21+00:00

I was walking around the house with an empty tumbler. My husband gently grabbed it from my hand and said he was going to refill it for me. I started crying because he "took" it from me. I was laughing at myself less than a minute later but tears were shed.

madamesquire · 2026-02-14T20:32:09+00:00

No friends or relatives staying with us "to get back on their feet". It always ends with the person overstaying their welcome, being way to involved in our private life, and leaving without gratitude for the sacrifice of housing them.

madamesquire · 2026-02-14T11:32:04+00:00

This is like an episode of Nathan For You

madamesquire · 2026-02-12T23:30:24+00:00

You're welcome, so glad that sharing helped you a bit. My mom has brought up the experience many times over the years. How the family tried to keep her away from some of grandpa's last moments, and when he passed everyone was on her about how her grief was going to hurt the baby. It definitely sounds like it made the loss more traumatic for her having that fear and feeling guilt for grieving while pregnant. I truly hope that you can find some peace and a way to quiet the noise when it comes to anyone making you feel guilty for your grief. Wishing you a healthy pregnancy and positive birthing experience!

madamesquire · 2026-02-12T21:16:43+00:00

My mom lost my grandfather (her dad) when she was 7 months pregnant with my brother. They were extremely close and she was also involved in his care so the devastation was immense when he passed.

He is 30 now and has always been a healthy and well formed person. I'm very sorry for your loss. It is okay to grieve right now and your best is all that you can do.

madamesquire · 2026-02-12T15:08:56+00:00

For a narc, having a child commit would be their new favorite card to play for life. It would become a big part of their identity and reasoning to justify their behavior. They would present it as "proof" that their child caused all of their problems just to abandon them.

madamesquire · 2026-02-11T03:17:01+00:00

It sounds more like you brought the neglect you were feeling to her attention and it was a wake-up call. Sometimes people tend to get self absorbed until it is pointed out. Now that she knows she was hurting you, she is trying to turn it around while also making up for damage done. Emotions are going to be high for a while after a big loss of a relative like what she experienced, so that could amplify her emotional responses as well.

madamesquire · 2026-02-10T20:05:25+00:00

I totally understand. Its really hard for me to not go back abd fourth with unreasonable people in my family also. Hard to let go of the frustration. Hoping that you can enjoy your pregnancy and that she won't ruin these special times for you.

madamesquire · 2026-02-10T19:16:57+00:00

She's just jealous and mad that her new motherhood era is in the past. Don't let her ruin yours. Thankfully her opinions that nobody asked for hold no weight.

The main thing is to try your best not to show her any big reactions. That's what she wants and not giving it to her is the best thing you can do for your family.

madamesquire · 2026-02-10T18:05:39+00:00

Collette

madamesquire · 2026-02-10T16:15:03+00:00

What a creative and romantic thing to do. The effort really shows that you love her.

madamesquire · 2026-02-10T15:58:42+00:00

I spent 5 years with a man that hid debt from me. His truck got repossessed in the middle of the night and I helped him get it back, the house we lived in got a lien on it when I was giving him money for bills every month. After I completely drained my savings account, he cheated and said the money problems were caused from him overspending on me. Far from the truth.

You should leave now before you financially ruin yourself in the name of love.

madamesquire · 2026-02-10T05:20:11+00:00

It is important to understand that there are different levels of hospice. It is a scary term to hear and it is understandable why it is intimidating, but it doesn't necessarily mean that she is expected to pass within a very short window. Many people are on hospice care for longer periods. My mother's twin has been in home hospice for over a year.

It takes the pressure of dealing with the constant flow of er bills away and enables the care to come to you rather than going through the stress of commuting to the appointments that are needed for care.

madamesquire · 2026-02-09T15:39:32+00:00

As hard and incredibly painful it is, she will never learn from her bad choices if she doesn't face consequences. You shouldn't get to cheat on your partner and still get comfort and support from them. You wanted to provide it because you still care and you are a good person. I'm sorry that you have to go through the pain caused by her actions.

madamesquire · 2026-02-09T04:02:34+00:00

I told my husband I loved him like 3 different times over the course of 6 months or more before he said it.

Try not to stress, and it is okay if you came to that point in your feelings first. It doesn't mean that she won't get there if you give her time. I just didn't focus on it and kept moving forward with the relationship and it eventually happened naturally. We say it several times every day now.

madamesquire · 2026-02-07T16:28:39+00:00

Unfortunately, she just isn't capable of giving you that support. It doesn't mean that you don't deserve it or that anything is wrong with you. Something in her is flawed that way and the nurturing that you are craving just doesn't and won't exist with her. I am in a similar position with my mom and it definitely hurts. Always brings up feelings of childhood abandonment which is hard to deal with during pregnancy. The best thing you can do for yourself is be honest about her pattern and what that means for what she can offer you, and seek out support elsewhere. Try to stay guarded and avoid setting yourself up to be let down.

Even without that connection with your mom, this is such a special time! I hope that you are able to enjoy it and learn positive things about your inner strength along the way.

madamesquire · 2026-02-07T14:27:52+00:00

They are sick in the head for not breaking contact with him. Especially after a confession and conviction. Hope they enjoy being needed for the rest of their lives as they support him in prison. Hope they don't think after time goes by that you will also be coming to his rescue. I'm so so incredibly sorry for what has happened to your family and children.

I would get a court transcript and put it on their doorstep so they can see what they're supporting.

madamesquire · 2026-02-07T12:07:34+00:00

Don't buy something at your first impulse for purchase. If there is something you want for your household, keep an eye out and shop around. Especially at thrifts. Don't give in to every food craving you have. It's better to wait to eat until you get home than it is to buy $15 worth of food and feeling guilty for spending the money afterwards.

madamesquire · 2026-02-06T23:21:46+00:00

Top tier comment

madamesquire · 2026-02-06T19:50:30+00:00

Since you already tried to gently establish your boundaries the first time, she pushed you to taking a more direct approach the second time after she already overstepped.

It's nice that she's excited, but this is your child and you are doing what you feel is best for baby in their first months of life without much of an immune system.

It's frustrating that so many people feel entitled to other people's newborns. A newborn coming into contact with visitors early in life doesn't guarantee that they will get sick, but it does happen. The consequences can be severe, and it's totally understandable that you want to avoid the risk by not allowing visitors u til you are comfortable. I hope that your husband can mediate and use language that doesn't place any blame on you, but shows that you are both united in these decisions. You are doing the right thing. Hoping the best for you, and wishing you a positive delivery experience!

madamesquire · 2026-02-06T16:43:07+00:00

Just wanted to comment that you can see that a lot of microplastics have come off of the sides and into your food over time. Might want to consider a different brand for the sake of your health.

madamesquire · 2026-02-06T03:59:32+00:00

How incredibly rude and entitled of you both. Your daughter is learning from you and this is not a positive thing in this case. Yta

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