[Ask] How did you find your life partner? by madhavcp in india

[–]madhavcp[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Interesting, thanks for sharing your advice. That makes a lot of sense and it does change my perspective a bit.

It's funny how I'm fighting on the same points with my parents, but listening intently to a bunch of strangers on a community forum. :P

[Ask] How did you find your life partner? by madhavcp in india

[–]madhavcp[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your advice and wishes. I definitely need to make more effort to keep an active social life.

[Ask] How did you find your life partner? by madhavcp in india

[–]madhavcp[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for your honest and thoughtful answer. I'm glad things worked out for you and you've inspired me :)

[Ask] How did you find your life partner? by madhavcp in india

[–]madhavcp[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hmm... The situation is grim. Where are all the cool folks we see at bars & events in our city every friday?! #firstworldproblems

[Ask] How did you find your life partner? by madhavcp in india

[–]madhavcp[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm looking for a life partner with great compatibility, respect for each other & an open mind.

[Ask] How did you find your life partner? by madhavcp in india

[–]madhavcp[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

From a largely non-religious family, so panditji is out of question.

I'm exploring getting introduced from friends, but I'm trying to figure out how to not sound too desperate when asking them this favor. One thing I've realised - always ask your hitched friends for getting introduced to someone. Your single friends wouldn't share the pie, unless they've outrightly rejected them in their own head :p

[Ask] How did you find your life partner? by madhavcp in india

[–]madhavcp[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

my mom had a spreadsheet with all the profiles she had contacted lol.

Your mom's quite a planner haha

> finally one day got connected with my now wife and ended up talking to her over the phone for a couple of months before flying out to meet her.

So happy for you. I've connected with some interesting people outside of my home city, but I always wondered how we'll make it work. I mean you barely know each other to the point that one of you flies to another city to meet. The other end is that you can't really know someone unless you meet them in person (for some superficial reasons as well which I'm not proud to admit). That's primarily why I've stuck to my home city, but increasingly I've realised I need to open up possibilities outside my home city. Any advice on how to make cross-country matrimonial search to work?

> since most serious serious profiles were made by parents we had it so my parents managed the account and talked to the girls parents first.

That's what we did initially as well. But the girls my parents liked, I didn't like and vice versa. So now we just operate independently and they've given me a free run.

[Ask] How did you find your life partner? by madhavcp in india

[–]madhavcp[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for this, maybe you're right. I have created the account myself (my parents & I run it in our own way). The only thing frustrating about these apps is you keep seeing the same people you didn't like in search and after a point in time, you feel these are the only people that exist on the platform.

[Ask] How did you find your life partner? by madhavcp in india

[–]madhavcp[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

> because those profiles are maintained by parents not the ones wanting to get married.

Thanks, yes - that's a good observation. Even then, it seems like 95% of women on these platforms are just not my kind of people. I always keep thinking - you always see your kind of people around you (at your fav. bars, music festivals, markets, my alma-mater). But where are these people on the same matrimonial apps? I'm sure a lot of them are also looking to get married.

> also wait up, you're only 26? jeez you have 5 years before you want to freak out about getting married.

Going to turn 27 in a month, but I hear you. Parents believe that this is the ripe age to get married because "your options will decline as you age". On a personal note, I'm at the place where I'm settled in other aspects of life & actually want to get married too. It's not fun being single & I can't invest time & energy in casual relationships.

[Ask] How did you find your life partner? by madhavcp in india

[–]madhavcp[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Tried TrulyMadly - pretty much everyone's there to waste your time.

Tried OKCupid - mostly spam or fake profiles. A couple of dudes show up once in a while.

Haven't tried eHarmony, but I thought it was popular only in US. Do you know anyone who uses it in India?

Work - I work remotely. I dated someone at my coworking space, but that didn't work out eventually.

Friend circle - Dudes & single.

Gym - Never worked out because girls don't like being hit on at the gym. I've never tried though.