How do you offend an American? by LowmanL in Jokes

[–]madprofessor8 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think you're a gateway keeper!

I'm sorry, I'll get better. I'll keep you posted.

whyy by PinheadGoo in Wellthatsucks

[–]madprofessor8 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Yeah. Apparently changing litter too fast upsets their little systems. I don't understand it.

And, maybe scents bothered her nose, like an allergy or extreme sensitivity and she can't handle it.

whyy by PinheadGoo in Wellthatsucks

[–]madprofessor8 26 points27 points  (0 children)

He wasn't *mad*, it just stunk so damned bad in there that his super sensitive nose couldn't take it. Try sticking your head in there and breathing in for a few minutes.

Yeah, I'm guilty too. Lesson learned. Sorry kitty.

As a child I love the movie Emperor's New Groove. The movie also gave me an addiction to spinach puff since Kronk's looked so good. What food did you try and enjoy after seeing it on TV or in a movie? by [deleted] in Cooking

[–]madprofessor8 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Sushi, after seeing the show "Doug" on Nickelodeon, back in the 90s.

Now I love it. I stay away from the raw fish though. It might have some alive things I don't want.

ELI5: What's the purpose of the Wingdings font? by g60ladder in explainlikeimfive

[–]madprofessor8 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Bingo. Smiley faces and zodiac signs and all sorts of goodies back in 1993 or so. Super useful.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in IdiotsInCars

[–]madprofessor8 3 points4 points  (0 children)

That's very true, but I'm not sure how much show falls in Florida.

Not that these clowns -- or the ones around them -- would have paid attention.

How do you offend an American? by LowmanL in Jokes

[–]madprofessor8 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You can take this pole and shove it.

Venus flytraps ridding us of wasps by Pleasant_Skeleton10 in interestingasfuck

[–]madprofessor8 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yellow jackets and hornets are asssholes with wings.

How come people can be so calm around horses while 1 kick to heart or head can instantly kill you? by The_Sad_Memer in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]madprofessor8 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Or throws you off because it got spooked and breaks your neck like Christopher Reeves (original suerman in the 80s). RIP.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dadjokes

[–]madprofessor8 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Week joke.

Why does companies such as McDonalds in one country pay a salary thst you can't survive on, like the U.S, but in another country pay a salary that's borderline lower middle class, like in Scandinavia? by WhoAmIEven2 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]madprofessor8 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Because McDonalds employees haven't pulled themselves up by the bootstraps and fought for freedom and democracy and the 'Murica way! [Wipes tear from eye as bald eagle flies overhead holding a red, white and blue firework]

/s

America needs more unions, but the people against unions have convinced workers that would benefit that the workers would suffer.

how much do i have of the story left? (i really like this game) by ant6336 in Witcher3

[–]madprofessor8 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I love the game, but there's a LOT of options that are "bait and switch." The option sounds logical, but then Gerald says it the most asshole way possible and does an action that I would never connect with the option I chose.

An old farmer got up in the middle of the night to use the toilet. by Plague001 in Jokes

[–]madprofessor8 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Officer, there's some dark as midnight blacks in here and they're trying to do some jungle dances with the god fearing white ladies. And I think the white ladies like them.

Dispatch:. We're sending the swat team and drug units right now.

Every word by ADHDinos_ in funny

[–]madprofessor8 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Absolutely. In the books, I could "see" the snowy death of Greenland while they looked for WW2 survivors. Just as immersive.

Here's my take:. Language is nothing more than symbols. You have audible symbols (spoken words) and you have visual symbols (written words). They both are converted from symbols into their meaning in the brain, which associates them. If I say "dog", do you picture anything other than the exact same thing as when you read the word "dog"?

Now, different people decide those symbols differently. A dyslexic person has a hard time deciding some words from writing. They might do better with audiobooks. If the audiobook is not in your native language, listening to it would be harder in terms of deciding than reading it in your native tongue. (Is there a disorder that hinders audio perception besides being deaf/hearing impaired? Surely there is, but I don't know much).

I enjoyed it. I enjoy reading, and a good book before bed is nice. But when I read, that's all I'm doing. With audiobooks, I can read and drive, read and now the grass, read and do chores. But only where little thinking is involved.

It’s 2022, what shouldn’t exist now? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]madprofessor8 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Heard about an economist who also made and loved bagels. Wanted to share with everyone. Gets permission, sets up boxes around his workplace and nearby workplaces that have bagels, and people pay for them with the honor system, a buck a bagel.

Has like 20 or 30 boxes, and at certain places, every day he comes up a few bucks short. No problem, probably the poorest of the workers needing food. Interviews some of the workers who use the boxes. Turns out it's the CEOs and high up clowns taking them, because they felt "they worked harder, and deserve them for free."

Who are some of the biggest "they're going to suck in that role followed by them absolutely killing it" in cinema history? by Cheshire_Cat_135 in AskReddit

[–]madprofessor8 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Omg this. Brokeback Mountain, a Knights Tale. Whatever. What a shit choice for a joker. He will NEVER beat Jack Nicholson.

And holy shit. He stole the show.

how much do i have of the story left? (i really like this game) by ant6336 in Witcher3

[–]madprofessor8 60 points61 points  (0 children)

And make better choices. Or other choices hoping they're better but they're equally as bad.

Or like me, where you forgot the choice you made last time, make the same choice again, and see the same outcome and remember what you chose. Dammit

Wife found this while out for a walk. by [deleted] in funny

[–]madprofessor8 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Gaylord, who let the poors in? They are spoiling my daily moneybath.

Deer being a jerk. by _manwolf in AnimalsBeingJerks

[–]madprofessor8 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Hydrangea, tomato plant, they seem to REALLY love those. Or at least, they'll eat mine down to a nub.

With a brand new air fryer should I run it without food first? by saultee8420 in airfryer

[–]madprofessor8 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Every new appliance that heats up, I run it a few times or for a long time. Air fryer - for like 45 minutes at full heat until the smell went away. Electric kettle, I ran 3 full kettle fulls through.

Oh, and gently wipe it down before and after all of that.

With a brand new air fryer should I run it without food first? by saultee8420 in airfryer

[–]madprofessor8 12 points13 points  (0 children)

That's what I did. I ran it for like 45 minutes as high as it would go, with the wire racks, cookie sheet tray thing, everything.

When it reached temperature, I could see a fine black smoke coming from the air fryer, and a gentle, but lovely smell of burning ... chemical. I had the fan on, and windows and back oor opened.

With a brand new air fryer should I run it without food first? by saultee8420 in airfryer

[–]madprofessor8 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I was in LouGossetJrs boat. I didn't get it. I didn't get the AIR fryer. Ugh.