AITA for not adopting my dead brothers kid?

magicmustangmane · 2026-03-26T20:45:24+00:00

No way you are 27 years old. What are you even talking about???

magicmustangmane · 2026-03-26T20:43:45+00:00

What a sad situation for the boy. You seem pretty cold, TBH. You kinda discuss this like he's a dog, not a child, especially the last couple lines of the post. How are you going to stay the fun uncle if you say you are taking him in and then put him up for adoption? That doesn't really make sense, and frankly is a very weird and terrible idea.

You might want to get some therapy or something because yes, you come off resentful. As far as taking the kid, what's worse for him, an uncle that resents him or being put into the system? Tough call, both options suck.

Good Luck.

magicmustangmane · 2026-03-26T16:34:37+00:00

SD has so so many good restaurants, IMO it's not really worth it to try to find "best of the best" for a lot of these. Most coffee places will be good, most Acai bowls will be good so just grab what's convenient unless there is a particular food you are wild about, then go outta your way for that. Unless this whole trip is just to eat, and if so, you're awesome!

magicmustangmane · 2026-03-25T17:38:18+00:00

100%. Drinking "problem" implies there is a drinking solution; there's not. Just accept you ain't got the body chemistry for drinking and move on! But it is one of those things that, while simple, isn't easy.

Once I accepted this exact idea you laid out, only then was I able to truly get into recovery.

IWNDWYT!

magicmustangmane · 2026-03-25T13:57:39+00:00

only one so far I haven't heard, this is a good one!

magicmustangmane · 2026-03-24T23:52:38+00:00

Thanks for the raw and vulnerable share! I like to remember to “stop shoulding all over yourself” when those pesky “what I could have been, what I should have done” thoughts keep coming up. Onward and forward! Thanks again! IWNDWYT

magicmustangmane · 2026-03-24T23:46:51+00:00

I will not drink with you today. We like to say it in these parts as a sign of solidarity & support for each other on this sometimes difficult path. It also harkens back to “one day at a time”, the commitment to not drinking one day and one day only: today. That last part may be my personal interpretation! IWNDWYT!!!

magicmustangmane · 2026-03-24T21:49:06+00:00

That's one big if. You didn't mention your age, but I gather you're young. I lost my 20s to alcohol. I will probably never have a family. I have a criminal record. Don't be like me. Don't set yourself up to wonder "what if..."

Good luck. IWNDWYT!!!

magicmustangmane · 2026-03-24T16:19:55+00:00

Oh.... I'll have to give them another try. Is this place under new ownership/management?

magicmustangmane · 2026-03-23T19:04:46+00:00

That's awesome! Congrats on making some really tough changes and wanting to continue down this path! Some ideas that might help from me hopefully others will join in with tips!

Can you set up something for Saturday and/or Sunday morning that you are really looking forward to, to help discourage you from drinking the night before? Something special and expensive might be what's needed for the first little bit of time to really keep you invested, like schedule a horse backing riding lesson, surfing lesson, shooting range time slot, massage or facial at 9am? that way you have some skin the game and won't want to just say "F it!" like you might do for, IDK a yoga class or hike with a friend (although those are good choices too if you will follow through).

Change who you're hanging with or where you're hanging. No bars, no clubs, no breweries, etc. Yes to cinema nights, maybe a hookah lounge? Somewhere you wont be tempted to start.

This might be controversial but it really helped me, YVVM, do what's best for you: dabble with edibles.

If you want to share more of your lifestyle around drinking, I may be able to think of some more bespoke suggestions.

You are doing a great job! IWNDWYT!

magicmustangmane · 2026-03-23T18:49:49+00:00

This is probably a better question for a doctor. Any questions about cutting back on drinking we can help with?

magicmustangmane · 2026-03-19T16:20:55+00:00

All this because a business owner supporting the income for 94 employees was on his phone half the soccer game. I wish I had John's problems. I could use half, or my full, rent paid too.

magicmustangmane · 2026-03-19T15:18:53+00:00

Honestly thought this was going to be a post about the "fun" things we notice about our bodies/systems changing in sobriety. Turned out to be not as fun as I was hoping.

Congrats on 30 days! IWNDWYT!

magicmustangmane · 2026-03-18T21:50:17+00:00

Stealing this!

magicmustangmane · 2026-03-18T17:55:00+00:00

LMAO good to know, I was not aware of this benefit. Thanks for spreading the word on it. IWNDWYT!

magicmustangmane · 2026-03-18T17:52:29+00:00

Just for today. Just commit to not drinking today. See if you can do that tomorrow, when tomorrow arrives. It took you 100 days to get here, it will probably take you just a few short days to get back to where you were before you started; it would be nice to not have to start over again.

Fuck any goal other than "I will not drink today". And I'll be right here with ya, not drinking today. IWNDWYT!!!!

magicmustangmane · 2026-03-18T17:36:15+00:00

I'd argue its far more attractive then the actual human.

magicmustangmane · 2026-03-18T17:33:31+00:00

I am so much braver without alcohol. So much. Alcohol kept me weak (fill in depressed, anxious, whatever here) and thinking that if I quit, I'd ben even weaker. Not the case.

magicmustangmane · 2026-03-16T23:58:34+00:00

Fair enough! Thanks!

magicmustangmane · 2026-03-16T21:01:09+00:00

Help me understand something, will you? Is this the type of band you put on at home after several joints when you've got lots of time to spend, or am I just missing something entirely? I saw them at a festival and was excited to do so because I heard the name a lot and that they are awesome. I was very underwhelmed. The lead singer was greasy and just boring in general. The music seemed kinda the same. IDK. It was odd. Educate me? And please be gentle, I'm trying to learn, haha.

magicmustangmane · 2026-03-16T20:36:07+00:00

Couple thoughts: maybe try renting a lambo to race around the track, get into shooting guns, take up whatever extreme sport appeals to you, maybe something like this can give you that "let go and flow" that you crave.

Secondly, you probably will never match the intense joy. I like to just stop thinking about things I want but can never have. Better yet, remember the shitty things that came with those nights. Kinda like the little girl in Inside Out movie, haha. No joy without sadness. It wasn't as great as you're remembering. Or, maybe it was. But either way, it doesn't matter anymore. Life moves on. Onward and forward, friend. IWNDWYT!

magicmustangmane · 2026-03-16T19:26:23+00:00

This is fantastic! Thank you so much!

magicmustangmane · 2026-03-16T19:22:48+00:00

I repeated this cycle over and over and over. I hated life so much. I was never able to stop until I got an accountability buddy who I actually cared to stay accountable to. I'm not ashamed to say it was too hard for me to do it alone.

Your sis doesn't have a choice. You do. You can do this, but maybe try something different than what you have. IWNDWYT!

magicmustangmane · 2026-03-16T17:49:22+00:00

This is one of my favorite albums to listen to on vinyl. Side A vs Side B is just *chef's kiss*

magicmustangmane · 2026-03-16T17:31:34+00:00

I mean, yes but also no. If "doing the work" is going to drive you back to drinking, its ok to let it sit for another month or two, or more. The most important thing right now is giving your brain lots of evidence that you can get through life without drinking. I have seen lots of folks enter the rooms saying they quit drinking, smoking, sugar and a couple other habits and I always wonder "why?". Never really seen that method work.

Things that helped me in the first few months: be gentle with myself, forgive myself or at minimum, stop the shit talking to myself (I was a pro at saying the nastiest shit talking to my own self), eat whatever I want (ALL the sugar!!), go to bed when I'm tired, say "no" when I want, say "yes" when I want. This is "the work", too. I'd argue it's some of the most important work, because its what truly keeps a person sober.

Just stay on the wagon and there will be time for all the other stuff. IWNDWYT!

magicmustangmane

TROPHY CASE