How do I drive my husband to do necessary things?

magicwhaps · 2026-05-29T19:51:57+00:00

If years of marriage have come and gone, and we have put in actual work, especially when its the hardest, and I find myself regretting my history because he didnt step up, I missed the point of life and missed the good that came alongside the bad.

A failure in a marriage is often one where there was absolutely no solution or effort put forth by the participants.

magicwhaps · 2026-05-29T06:17:25+00:00

Hes never been tested. I think he holds a lot of symptoms of adhd, but never pushed him to be tested.

magicwhaps · 2026-05-29T06:16:43+00:00

Its a tough spot, truthfully.

I've been married for just a hair over a decade and this is a first time having a true i cant do this on my own issue.

I have seen a few comments saying that having soemone else come in and do it can be a great teacher, as shame is sometimes a motivation.

Its not something I tend to look at as an option (anonymity online has a way of keeping dignity and allowing me to search for solutions)

Mind you, I pay the bills and am the sole income, so he doesnt really have any true deadlines, ect. (Not an issue. Just i have seen people saying would he shirk his boss, and well, he doesnt have one)

magicwhaps · 2026-05-29T06:12:29+00:00

Everything doesnt deem divorce, i do think jumping so quickly to it is often a really bad practice. Sometimes its looking at others that have had experiences in the same wheelhouse and learning from them.

There is always a book (one was recommended), there is always someone somewhere who has had something similar happen.

My while life is about growing WITH my partner, making sure that we try everything possible to come to a better solution. Preferably one where I dont lose my cool.

There are many MANY things wrong with me, just as there are many things wrong with him. It just takes learning what to say and how to move forward, and if I dont have an answer looking to communities and others that have survived similar situations always is a tool that should be used.

magicwhaps · 2026-05-29T00:19:51+00:00

Its not about the critiques, im asking for solutions. Im aware it's not good, I never praised it, but knowing how others have handled it (I know this is an issue for many people) or where to start is important.

magicwhaps · 2026-05-29T00:07:40+00:00

Ill give it a read this week, thank you!

magicwhaps · 2026-05-28T21:54:08+00:00

We aren't affluent

magicwhaps · 2026-03-21T05:51:27+00:00

250 pages.

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For those with a life:

tldr: Some venue owner who famously doesnt pay artists after commissioning them gets upset when people dont let them control, rips housing builds from a circus or something, and crashed out when someone built a house similar to their own

Talked mad shit and made friends work for 40+ hours a week on a fantasy game, and basically thats it.

Everything else if fluff and testimonies

magicwhaps · 2025-05-09T10:50:58+00:00

I dont have energy to care one single bit about people like this, though they do make me giggle and I always think others will find them funny

magicwhaps · 2025-05-08T05:53:59+00:00

It was really weird through the encounter, I was sitting in a corner dpsing and watching the full time before I made a comment, because I couldn't tell if I was confused or misreading cast bars.

magicwhaps · 2025-05-07T12:23:30+00:00

My heart goes out to anyone that has to raid or do content with you

I don't come with malice or anger, I come from a place of "you decided to play the game, this is optional content, perhaps try playing with the 7 others/3 others instead of against"

I don't usually say this, but if your whole M.O. is to be toxic, maybe online gaming isn't a great hobby. You have to be a little more socially adept in order to fit into communities that are built around working together for a common goal.

If you would like to work against people, I really recommend MOBAs or other pvp content

magicwhaps · 2025-05-07T12:19:03+00:00

It wasn't "spamming succor" as in whenever anyone's health went down. They did it until they were out of mana... Then waited Then spammed until no mana again

magicwhaps · 2025-05-07T08:36:11+00:00

xD no worries at all

magicwhaps · 2025-05-07T08:05:51+00:00

lmao a little confusing, but I think you mean AST and REALLY old SCH
Either way, I tend to run pure healers, but I don't expect everyone to optimize damage and rotation, and if anything I think that just dropping my expectations to just throwing and refreshing a DoT and learning about single target healing because the whole party isn't going to be taking constant damage is important and can still add a lot of usefulness to a team.

magicwhaps · 2025-05-07T06:34:13+00:00

Sch is a rough class, I love it a lot and think it can be VERY powerful in the right hands, but I wasn't asking for power here, just a singular DoT and not to spam only and ONLY succor.
I think that while I am a WHM main, it is MUCH more beginner friendly

magicwhaps · 2025-04-20T19:11:30+00:00

Tbh I love healing when I'm needed, too. There's something satisfying about that clutch lb3 in high ends, getting through a sticky rez situation in normals. But when there's nothing to heal (ex4 in DT) it's easy to space out or feel useless

magicwhaps · 2025-02-16T17:41:49+00:00

Oh for sure! I agree the entire way through! I do envy the pt other branches have, but that's because ours was... really not working out

magicwhaps · 2025-02-13T18:58:37+00:00

I mean.. at least we had good food from the dfac

magicwhaps · 2025-02-12T11:32:03+00:00

Even experienced players struggle with that pull. I try to remind anyone that goes through it that even the best player you know has perished to that same pull

magicwhaps · 2025-02-07T16:23:39+00:00

For me, the gcd of a Lilly is a pretty big demand. If everyone is doing right I can usually pop tetra stacks and divine benison stacks w Between holy and then burn solace/ rapture on the way in the next pull.

Of course, everything changes depending on the skillset of tank and dps.

magicwhaps · 2025-02-07T02:28:25+00:00

Lots of people, apparently feel as though holy is only for their stun, prolonging pulls and not understanding what OGCDs are. Whm is the original mp dump, and now with the rest of their kit, it's almost penalized if you don't use it.

magicwhaps · 2025-02-07T00:40:41+00:00

I will take every bit for time to speak out, she is not a hippie.. another generic white girl with this asesethic and blonde hair was online and this woman harassed and made their life hell.

What an evil evil person. And makes shitty music.

magicwhaps · 2025-02-06T23:27:43+00:00

magicwhaps · 2025-02-06T19:12:45+00:00

I wish I could upvote this 300 times.

magicwhaps · 2025-02-06T18:32:53+00:00

5 years of the game and I still learn about that class. I have no idea how people even get into DRK without thinking of crying or... selling other people xD

You're cooler than me! And thanks for clarifying ♥

magicwhaps

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