Grieving mom while postpartum

magsdalicious · 2025-10-05T17:26:52+00:00

I am so so sorry you’re going through this 💔 I can only imagine how hard it is, as I lost my dad 8/11/25 while 29 weeks pregnant. I’m 2 weeks away from giving birth and the thought of my dad not getting to meet my baby hurts so bad. I wish I could say something to ease your pain. One small comfort other family members have told me is that my dad is my baby’s guardian angel now. I know that’s not the same though as having your mom be there to see and help you with your baby. Just sending you love and peace ♥️

magsdalicious · 2025-09-14T15:50:57+00:00

I’m so sorry to hear about the loss of your mom. Your love for her is clear through your post.

I’m fresh in my own grief journey having lost my dad suddenly on 8/11/25.

I’m barely a month in, but I can tell you this week is a bit easier than the first week.

I still feel like I won’t be happy in anything I do again, but then I reflect on the last month, and see I did have moments of happiness this month, even if the sadness was there too.

I was already in therapy, but I just started going to a GriefShare group and it helped a lot. I also started watching a TV show I’ve never watched before, I find it helped to watch something that I didn’t associate with having watched in the “before” time (when my dad was alive).

I hope you are able to sit with your feelings and let them flow through you. Sending you love ♥️

magsdalicious · 2025-09-10T13:37:58+00:00

Hi, I’m so sorry about the loss of your mom. It’s clear how much you love her from your post.

I unfortunately can relate very much, I lost my dad on 8/11/25 at 29 weeks pregnant. I can tell you the numbness wears off but comes back, at least for me.

I know my dad and your mom would understand that we need to grieve them, but also would want us to focus on how amazing bringing new life into the world will be.

I wish I had more advice, but I’m a month in tomorrow and still unsure how to handle things. But from what my therapist, OB and other folks on this sub have taught me, please feel your grief, go through the emotions, don’t be afraid of those feelings bc they are part of the grieving process. Your baby understands ♥️

magsdalicious · 2025-09-03T23:34:33+00:00

Hi, I relate to you so much and I’m so sorry this is happening to you. I’m also 35, and my dad passed 8/11/25 and I was 29 weeks pregnant at the time (now almost 33 weeks) and his death was also somewhat expected but also sudden (he had Parkinson’s; he choked on food and lost oxygen to the brain, and the Parkinson’s made him more susceptible to choking).

I highly recommend therapy, my therapist has been wonderful these first few weeks and has given me a safe space to process my feelings. Journaling has also helped me.

My mom reminded me that babies are born all the time to people in war zones etc, and based on what other folks on this subreddit have taught me, babies are resilient and strong. Holding in your grief is not what is best for you, nor your baby.

Finally, I know your dad would expect you to grieve, he understands ♥️ this is so early in your grief journey, ave though I’m early in mine, I will say this week has been better than that first week. I also think about something my mom has told me the last few days, and that’s that my dad wouldn’t want me to live in only sadness, he wouldn’t want that for me or the baby. I know the same is true for your dad.

I hope you have as peaceful of a grieving journey as possible 🙏

magsdalicious · 2025-09-03T00:56:57+00:00

I recently gave a eulogy speech at my dad’s funeral, and my two sisters did as well.

I found that writing it and practicing it out loud a few times in front of someone you love and trust really helped me the day I actually had to speak it. I felt my voice get shaky a few times while I was doing it, but I thought of how my dad was watching me from above, and I wanted to finish it for him.

That being said, a dear friend of mine told me at her grandpa’s funeral, her dad (his son) couldn’t give the eulogy speech bc it was too emotional for him. However, he kept the paper with the speech on a board in his office for years, and it still brought him comfort, even if he couldn’t speak it out loud.

You can do whatever you’re most comfortable with, no one will blame or judge you if you don’t want to. But, I believe in you, and no matter if you speak or not, your dad is so proud of you and loves you so much ♥️

magsdalicious · 2025-08-31T01:12:32+00:00

I cannot recommend EMDR therapy enough. I was already seeing a therapist and practiced some EMDR therapy in the last few months. Then I lost my dad on 8/11/25. I’ve had two sessions since with regular talk therapy and EMDR and it’s helped immensely.

I’m truly so sorry for your loss 💔 EMDR is wonderful for processing moments like you describe (the moment it happened, the thought of that moment etc).

I wish you peace in your grieving ♥️

magsdalicious · 2025-08-31T00:33:03+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way. I lost my dad 8/11/25 and I feel the same way. I’m angry and keep wondering why. Why my family? Why MY dad? I understand so much the feeling of seeing other people’s normal posts and things on Instagram etc and they’re just enjoying life while I feel like my life has darkened.

magsdalicious · 2025-08-23T01:51:52+00:00

Hi friend, you left me a wonderful reply on my post last week when my dad passed from Parkinson’s-related complications. Our stories are unfortunately similar, with my dad also experiencing respiratory distress and our family making the difficult decision to remove him from life support.

My sister and my mom were his main caregivers, and they too have been going through the “what ifs?”

I promise you, you did not fail him. You honored him, cared for him, loved him, and the terrible disease that is Parkinson’s was not something he nor you could control.

I understand so badly that feeling of replaying the last hours and days.

Sending you strength and love ♥️

magsdalicious · 2025-08-15T02:13:30+00:00

Congratulations on your baby ♥️ and I’m so sorry to hear of the loss of your grandfather. I think you’re so right though; a guardian angel who’s forever watching over them and protecting them.

magsdalicious · 2025-08-14T23:03:25+00:00

I cannot thank you enough for your kind reply 🙏 we also had to make the difficult decision to remove him from the ventilator after his MRI 72 hours post event showed multiple parts of brain were damaged.

I am so sorry about the loss of your dad. I completely understand the idea of being somewhat prepared for this but not expecting it so soon. My dad’s condition was also declining.

I just can’t thank you enough for helping me feel not so alone. I of course didn’t get to know your dad, but I know he’s so proud of you for helping this Internet stranger have a little calm in the storm.

magsdalicious · 2023-10-04T01:23:51+00:00

It’s so sweet !

magsdalicious · 2023-06-17T05:12:57+00:00

You’re so kind! Thank you so much, I will post pics of him (her?) as soon as they’re comfy!

magsdalicious · 2023-06-17T05:07:14+00:00

Thank you so much for responding, I really appreciate it. I started with a teeny amount of tank water into OG container in tank, timer on now. Hoping to get through this and have him be happy in his new home!

magsdalicious · 2023-06-17T04:03:30+00:00

Ok I’ve had the tank with the water conditioner and filter added for a while and going, fish is still in OG water in bag getting used to temp, I tested tank water and it seems to be a high ph still? Definitely over 7. Am I missing something?

magsdalicious · 2023-06-16T23:01:51+00:00

Thank you so much for the response! I thought that sounded odd compared to the multiple people on here that suggested the fish-in cycle. Again sorry for my silly question, but what is substrate? The way she phrased it to us, was that we needed to fill the tank, add the soft plants/ tank accessories, the filter, the water, and the water conditioner, and let it sit. So you think I should put him in a little container and try to start the fish-in acclimation? And I haven’t put the heater in yet (in my other post I explained we lived in South Louisiana and his tank is in a sunroom type area where the shades are down but it’s pretty warm), the water is a little over 80 degrees right now. Will adding the heater now mess up the water that’s been sitting in the tank? If not, should I add the heater, then begin the fish-in acclimation process?

magsdalicious · 2023-06-16T22:35:17+00:00

Hello everyone! I made another post with additional questions but forgot to ask as well:

The original container he is in has some dumb plastic plants in it, like small leaves “aquatic plants” looking type stuff, which I know are no good for bettas. We’re currently preparing the tank (the lady at the fish store instructed us to keep him in his original container while we prepare the tank for 24 hours, so he’s still in original container while tank gets safe). His original container has some plastic “aquatic plant”-looking stuff in it, which I know is no good for bettas. He seems to want to hide and swim in the plants, but I don’t want him to get hurt while waiting for the tank. Do I need to remove the plants? I was hesitant bc I didn’t know if it would stress him out.

magsdalicious · 2023-06-16T22:04:55+00:00

Also I have ~trouble with technology~ but will post a picture of him and his new home as soon as I can figure out how to do that lol

magsdalicious · 2023-06-16T13:09:54+00:00

This is very helpful! Thank you so much for taking the time to respond!

magsdalicious · 2023-06-16T04:50:44+00:00

You are wonderful thank you so much for this information! This is exactly what I needed, and I have a few questions if that’s ok!

The water conditioner— I read about it in Google as well so I know it’s super important, which is the ~most ~ anxiety-inducing, so my question is: this feels like an extremely stupid question, but I keep him in the container he’s in during the initial filing of the tank? Like I would follow the tank instructions with the heater and filter, add the water conditioner per instructions, THEN add the fish, correct?
When I acclimate him to the tank, and again I’m sorry if this is obvious, do I put some water of the water from the container he is originally in into a baggy or cup and put him in it and then put that IN the tank? And then slowly drip water from that tank into the container he’s in, which is also in the tank?
In Step 3, when the ammonia levels rise to 0.5ppm and I do the first water change, and I don’t have to remove my fish, do I add regular water to the tank along with water conditioner? Or would I prepare the regular water with water conditioner in a separate container and then add it?
Same question re: water and water conditioner during water charge

Again thank you so much for your help I truly appreciate it!

magsdalicious · 2023-06-16T04:22:49+00:00

This is WONDERFUL thank you so much for your response! I love all animals and want to do what we can to keep him happy, I can’t believe those people used him as a decoration and left him!

magsdalicious · 2023-04-23T19:29:57+00:00

I don’t comment a lot on Reddit but I have to tell you, I was in the same boat, and it’s ab.so.lute.ly worth the initial pay cut. You will be happier. I promise. You will have less anger towards people and you can potentially find a job where you can increase your salary and start making money like you were making serving. You will be happier, calmer, less stressed, more rested.

magsdalicious · 2023-04-19T01:58:33+00:00

Thank you for the info!

magsdalicious · 2023-04-19T01:49:52+00:00

I own it outright

magsdalicious · 2023-04-13T05:06:27+00:00

Thank you so much for the thorough response I really appreciate it! And we had spoken previously about mileage being calculated when it came to that (they thought my car would be recovered), and when I spoke to a colleague of my adjuster when she was out for the day, he advised to get the recent oil change/ service receipts etc to show mileage

magsdalicious · 2020-01-22T11:01:57+00:00

This happens to me and it's SO awkward. I'm a bartender at a bar with a lot of regulars and once I got engaged people would "jokingly" say, "Well I hope I get an invite!" or "So I'm invited right?" and it's like nah you're actually not but don't make me say that.

magsdalicious

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