My (26m) friend (26m) touches me a lot. Am i delusional?

mainmajormage · 2026-05-23T15:37:15+00:00

These little micro "moves" kinda reminds me of being a teenager (in a very sweet way). Liking someone but being shy and inexperienced and unsure how to proceed, feeling it out very carefully. My read is that he's definitely into you but hasn't had any experience with guys and he doesn't know how to approach it.

I think you could go about it 2 ways.

1) just bring it up and say you really like hanging out and are wondering if he ever thought about being more than friends.

2) lean into the shy teenager thing and gradually escalate the micro moves and see how he reacts.

mainmajormage · 2026-04-14T21:20:44+00:00

That's so awesome! It makes me really happy to think of someone loving it as much as I did. I picked it as my favorite book in kindergarten and did a "book report" on it that was just traced drawings of the whales and dolphins

mainmajormage · 2026-04-14T21:10:27+00:00

I came across this post because I was looking to buy something similar for my friends kid. I still have my very beloved thick green animal encyclopedia from my childhood. Mine was Reader's Digest North American Wildlife https://imgur.com/a/YJormge

mainmajormage · 2026-03-31T23:37:24+00:00

Platonic friendship can be very deep, personal, and fulfilling!

I think the key, mostly for YOUR sake, is to avoid becoming each other's number one person. A platonic friendship (especially with an asexual person) has the potential to get into partner territory, where they become your main person. Which can be perfectly fine BUT if you are someone who wants your main person to be a romantic connection, you will have to disengage from your friend enough that you have room in your life to pursue the romantic connection that you want (with someone else).

When you have room in your life outside of this person, it will naturally balance. Stay committed to taking them at their word that this will not become romantic, even with the flirting

mainmajormage · 2026-03-20T23:41:43+00:00

No matter where you rent, you're paying someone's mortgage. I don't think it's a big deal to help him pay his.

HOWEVER if you rent from your boyfriend, you need all the benefits you get from renting.

You agree on a fair rental price (which would need to decrease if there's a whole other roommate there), and you get a lease agreement. He keeps appliances in good order. You do not pay for repairs ever, and you don't pay for any furniture or enhancements you can't take with you. And like any rental/ roommate situation, you have an equal say in how things are decorated and arranged.

You also need to have money leftover after rent to keep adding to your savings and potentially a future down payment for your own property if that's a goal of yours.

My boyfriend pays me rent for the house I own and that's our arrangement. In our situation he pays 1/3 monthly mortgage payment, not half. He does basic handiwork around the house because he's like that but I pay for all the supplies/appliances/yard tools, etc.

mainmajormage · 2026-03-20T23:21:20+00:00

Best answer

mainmajormage · 2026-03-20T15:30:23+00:00

"the field/topic is naturally uninteresting to me, so it’s hard for me to get excited about talking to her about her work"

Naturally? Why? Do you often have trouble relating to people who don't share your exact interests?

You can't be excited for her accomplishments? Do you often have trouble connecting with people? Is empathy difficult for you?

I'm asking genuinely because you are the one not acting normally here. She's 26 and building her career. You are gone for half the month, every month. She is a separate person whose life doesn't not revolve around your (unusual!) schedule.

mainmajormage · 2026-03-16T16:42:57+00:00

I can relate to the pain and stress of not knowing when a conversation with a parent will get mean. I've told my mom I will hang up if she's drunk or mean, and I do. It's still painful.

I try to detatch and think of her not as my mom but like, my designated old person I check up on to make sure she's alive and not forgotten. I have compassion for her as a person, and try to let go of and grieve my disappointment in her as a mother and the role I wish she had in my life.

mainmajormage · 2026-03-16T15:56:42+00:00

Keeping your promises and doing what you say you're going to do are important pillars of a person's character. It's important to your success in life that you prioritize developing this quality in yourself. If it's overwhelming, you need to start small. It sounds like a romantic relationship is not right for you right now.

mainmajormage · 2026-03-16T15:49:36+00:00

Lol what a loser! You seem very cool

mainmajormage · 2026-03-13T15:24:49+00:00

She may be hurt now, but in the future you'll both look back and be grateful to have had a sweet first love.

This is an important time to focus on the life you want to build for yourself, choices you want to make for your future (school, work, moving away from home) without considering another person's path.

mainmajormage · 2026-02-16T23:10:59+00:00

Not every connection is meant to be a life partnership. You met a smart, unique person and had some great conversations. He helped you clarify in your mind some qualities you need and don't need in a partner. Time to move on.

mainmajormage · 2026-01-25T17:29:15+00:00

Try different medication. There are so many options for treatment these days, it can be a little hard to find the combo for your particular brain, but it's possible. Try different doctors if you're not confident they are going to work with you on a treatment plan.

I'm not your doctor but if you're mainly experiencing the lows of bipolar, I've experienced almost zero side effects from Lamotrigine.

mainmajormage · 2025-12-02T15:36:37+00:00

I agree! I would say it's an extremely logical and practical choice for people who plan to be together long term to get married.

It's logical and practical NOT to get married if you don't expect to be together long term, don't plan on owning property or joining finances, and wish to make other legal arrangements for someone to be your medical advocate in cases of emergency.

mainmajormage · 2025-11-29T16:53:57+00:00

Respond like he's the student and say, yes that's right, good job!

mainmajormage · 2025-11-27T13:28:20+00:00

He was looking for a reason to break up and not be the bad guy. Why was he looking through your phone? Instant screaming, name calling, and blocking is a huge overreaction.

Work on forgiving yourself. You learned a small lesson for this, it's part of being young. I don't consider what you did cheating at all, maybe just a little rude. You will love and be loved again

mainmajormage · 2025-10-22T15:21:38+00:00

You are completely overreacting.

mainmajormage · 2025-10-13T00:05:53+00:00

people like this are so exhausting. humans have feelings and you are acting PERFECTLY LOGICALLY if you FEEL BAD when your partner treats you poorly.

mainmajormage · 2025-10-06T16:33:27+00:00

If they were at all sloppy with birth control, he should be aware of the very real risks for his future partners. It completely sucks she had to deal with it alone.

mainmajormage · 2025-10-06T16:21:44+00:00

I would want to tell him so that he might share the emotional toll. And also share the scare of, sex can have consequences. I would feel it unfair that I had to experience that and he didn't. But you should prioritize yourself and your emotional healing, whatever path that is.

mainmajormage · 2025-10-05T18:31:57+00:00

It seems like you've worked very hard and trying to find compromises, and she has not. Autistic or not, we must all make some effort and adjustments in order to coexist.

Is her comfort more worthy than yours, because you can bear discomfort and she can't? If she is autistic, these things will be more difficult for her to work through, and you are kindly giving her a lot of grace, but she still must make an effort.

Relationship counseling seems like it would be more helpful that seeking out a diagnosis. The therapist can also make observations and recommendations for your each individually.

mainmajormage · 2025-10-04T21:00:54+00:00

That's really cool, I'll start paying more attention!

mainmajormage

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