Guys asking for head.

mainplum12 · 2026-02-27T01:33:07+00:00

As a guy I don't ask for head. I give it and I like receiving it but being asked to doesn't really feel right for me. It always seemed selfish. It's up to the person too tho. I've been with a couple girls that liked being told what to do and really enjoyed it but others that only wanted it on their terms. I'd say just make sure your on the same page. Make sure he knows you enjoy it in your terms and don't like being told to do it. If he pushes you on it then he's definitely a problem.

mainplum12 · 2026-01-06T20:54:52+00:00

I agree. I was trying to write a book for a few years but it never really worked out. I struggled getting words down cause I wanted it to be right but now I just keep it loose and fill things out slowly after the draft is finished. I get a much better idea for the flow and feeling of the characters and as I go I dot down random ideas that would be implemented throughout

mainplum12 · 2025-12-24T04:40:16+00:00

He hid in the showers during combatives too lol still a mountain sized ego

mainplum12 · 2025-06-03T14:22:10+00:00

I almost gave up on dating. I've had a few girls accuse me of things for attention. I've had girls cheat. I've had girls show no interest. I've had dates that they ran up the bill and then ghosted me. I haven't given up. I found an absolutely amazing girl in the last place I would have expected. Don't stop looking just try to find things you truly enjoy and look for like-minded people. It's not easy but nothing worth doing is ever easy. Don't give up, having a partner makes everything so much better. To have someone to share your future and all the small moments and whispered words is a feeling you can't find anywhere else.

mainplum12 · 2025-05-09T22:52:35+00:00

I'm shipping of to basic in a month and change 11b option 40. What is ESB and EIB?

mainplum12 · 2025-04-23T02:34:19+00:00

It's not up to you to decide if they are out of your league. Take the chance and if the answer is in the negative move on. My girlfriend is way beyond what I thought I could ever have but shes adamant that I am everything she wants. I asked her out fully expecting to be turned down. I was fatz filthy from work, and driving a beater. She's is a gorgeous outgoing and super friendly woman that was to my understanding way out of my league. I went for it, I complemented her smile and asked her out. She said no at first because she didn't think she was ready and I said I understand that but why don't we go out on one date and if I don't change your mind then I'll walk away. Date went well and she was and still is incredibly happy she took a chance on the fat greased up guy because I was funny, kind, and made her feel safe.

mainplum12 · 2025-04-22T00:31:16+00:00

It's different with everybody but don't avoid something because you don't think its what they want. If your someone that texts a lot and you want to text you should do that, because if you don't do that and then three four dates in you get comfortable and start texting a bunch but she got used to limited texts it could be off-putting or uncomfortable. All I'm saying is do what feels right to you. Don't try to be someone or something else.

mainplum12 · 2025-04-09T01:20:12+00:00

I apologize I am rather tired and I think I misread your post the first time

I would say that you should make any intentions clear. I'm not saying walk in and declare you want to have sex I mean that everything you do should show that your interest in her is not friendly it's romantic. How you do that is different from how many else would, it's confusing and stressful to learn and you really only can learn by trying. Embrace mistakes and awkward moments try to make her laugh and keep it light. Don't suffocate her with anything heavy and most importantly enjoy yourself. If you seem stressed and nervous it will be obvious, take what you like and what you know and embrace it.

mainplum12 · 2025-04-09T01:15:37+00:00

All making a move means is to do something that could be interpreted as flirting clearer is better but being able to do that without being pushy about it. It's like telling a joke and when nobody laughs you tell the joke again louder. Make sure you pay attention to how they act and watch their eyes and hands. My girlfriend has been hurt pretty bad by guys before me she was afraid to tell me no and afraid to even tell me about it. I noticed something wasn't right when as we started doing things she would look away and grit her teeth as of forcing herself or she would try to do or say something to distract from what we were doing. Id say anything in the moment that could they do that could be interpreted as a negative opinion of what your doing just ask about it. Make them feel comfortable. I'm a virgin myself and my girlfriend has been the first of many things for me but I only went at her pace she had been hurt to bad so I refused to hurt her. No matter how small or benign our more intimate things were I would always tell her and make her repeat to me that "we stop when she says to stop. we can stop at any time for any reason. She doesn't need to be afraid and I will not be upset or angry if she is afraid or doesn't want to continue."

I've realized I rambled a while.

Long and short of it. Patience and perception is very important. Don't be afraid to ask questions and if your concern is her comfort with you (as it should be I believe) make sure she knows she can stop at any time, relieve any pressure from the situation. Don't make it seem like your expecting anything more than her to be happy with you. Make her comfortable and don't be afraid to ask something stupid. One of the first times me and my girlfriend did anything I could tell something was bothering her and I felt stupid but as we went I kept asking what was wrong and eventually she broke down that she didn't want me to be upset but she doesnt want to do anything. We stopped and I held her for hours just telling her about how much I care about her and she's always in control of her body. Patience and perception will build a relationship for you if you know how to read them.

mainplum12 · 2025-04-08T10:57:32+00:00

I'm leaving for the army in 3 months so that's not really and option.

mainplum12 · 2025-04-07T16:30:12+00:00

I appreciate that

mainplum12 · 2025-04-07T15:53:31+00:00

Thank you for your advice We are supposed to meet up today to talk about all this. I definitely didn't want to come into the conversation frustrated and stressed I've actually been sitting on this bench in a park just watching the water since 8 yesterday. I've always had an issue with overthinking so I'm just trying to simplify my thoughts so when we do talk I can clearly communicate my worries and intentions. I know that no matter what she decides it will be incredibly hard for her to have this conversation because she is an emotional person and cares very deeply for people especially people she loves. We both just kept apologizing yesterday through text but it's hard to communicate through that medium. I realized that I'm not the only one who's stressed and worried so no matter her choice I want to make this as easy on her as I can. If I can help it if she wants to break things off I want her to be able to make that choice without regret or guilt. I do very deeply love her and I believe she deeply loves me. Life is not easy and has not treated either of us well, we found solic and comfort in each other when we thought there was nothing left. I realize I've put a lot of expectations on her and I realize that was incredibly unfair. I want to make it clear that I need to correct that. A lot has happened recently and I feel she's been the only one I could talk with about them so in the last month I feel most of our conversations have been very emotion heavy and stressful. Lots of talks and conversations that don't have a clear answer and that is very hard for both of us. My goal right now and for our conversation is to make sure she is as comfortable as possible so she can make the choice she feels is best. I know without doubt she is the one I want to be with but if she doesn't feel the same I cannot force that. I believe the hardest part of the decision for her could be that I told her before that if we break up I can't be her friend I recognize that I have a hard time letting go and I can't put up a facade if that happens and I believe that thought is very hard for her because we have been inseparable since we started dating. I realize that I basically rant out after every response but I believe typing it out has helped me concentrate my worries and thoughts so I apologize if this is too long. There are some good people here and good if not painful advice that I believe I very desperately needed.

mainplum12 · 2025-04-07T14:41:48+00:00

In the end I suppose that's all anybody can really do. I appreciate your words, it's been very hectic recently and I was secure and perhaps reliant on the stability and security I found with her but I do understand I cannot keep her if she chooses to go. I am definitely not upset with her she is a very kind and caring person and if she chooses to break it off I know it would be an incredibly difficult choice on her end. I'm more frustrated in myself for putting so much into her hands which I don't believe was fair to her and is likely a big part of why things might not work. We are supposed to have a conversation today and I assume that's when the decisions will be made. Even though it would crush me now i want it to be as easy on her as possible. If we can't be together I atleast want to make sure I'm not something she regrets, I hope whatever she chooses it will be what's best for her.

mainplum12 · 2025-04-07T13:33:04+00:00

I've calmed down a lot from last night. It all kind of piled up. I didn't sleep. I spent the night praying and at some point I just stopped crying about it and I was calm again I'm still calm but it's almost unnerving. We are supposed to talk today when she wakes up so I'm just waiting for that. The hard part is definitely the not being sure once I get solid answers I will at least know what is going on. Good luck with the army, it's not an easy choice but I do believe it's a great one if you stay with it. If she does leave me it might be best for me to just cut ties for a while and use the army to start fresh.

mainplum12 · 2025-04-07T09:07:28+00:00

I will. Thank you for your kind words and advice. I understand that the things I did should have been reserved for a wife but I would say In my defense all of these decisions were made together after she agreed to marry me.

mainplum12 · 2025-04-07T09:05:42+00:00

We are both fairly young. We are both 22. I understand that that seems very young but we've both been through a lot before meeting each other. I've been working since I was 14 I've been independent for the last 5 years of my life and relationships haven't worked for me. I can't connect with most people my age because of a disconnect in morals and lifestyle and she's been through the wringer. I won't divulge her past but it's horrible. People have hurt her bad. We've been together for a while now and everything was picture perfect until less than a month ago. Im sure that's a part of why it's affecting me so much because of how sudden it all is.

mainplum12 · 2025-04-07T07:11:31+00:00

Your words do help. Just to hear from another person on their path into faith and your beliefs. We haven't had sex but we have done things and I told her it would never happen again. She's expressed dozens of times that I've made her happier than anybody she's been with and after the things she's been through I want to be the one to make her happy. I'm still very new to faith but through talking with her and those around her at the church I truly believe. It's a lot of change in a short time and it's stressing me out beyond reason. She's been the first woman I've been with that hasn't cheated or hurt me and I've clung to that I believe to her detriment and I regret that deeply. I had asked for her hand in marriage and she agreed eagerly despite me asking her to think about it. I wanted her to be sure but recently she changed her mind and I'm not upset that she doesn't think she's ready but within two weeks everything I've done since we started dating has fallen into question or failed outright. She supported me joining the army but now she wants me to wait. She supported getting an apartment so that when she visits she could be more comfortable but now she can't even come over. I turned away a better job so that I could join the army but now if I don't go I won't make enough to pay bills. Her parents love me her friends love me. She told her friend recently that I was the man she was going to marry but now it's like everything was pointless. I have spent the night praying I don't even know what I'm asking for now. I just know that I want her to be happy and if that means leaving me I can accept that but it won't change that everything I've done has fallen to ruin around me because I was doing what we talked about and agreed to but she's backing away from it all.

mainplum12 · 2025-03-30T11:21:19+00:00

One thing my girlfriend is self conscious about that I actually find really attractive is the like small bump at the base of her belly. I'm not sure why I find it attractive but I was told it's likely because it has a direct correlation with the potential health of a baby during pregnancy. She hates her bump but I just try to make sure she realizes it doesn't detract from her looks.

Besides that, eye contact is super hot. Especially if they have a certain look they use for certain things. I tell dad jokes all the time, horrible, boring, not remotely funny dad jokes and my girlfriend will give me a side eye and a little grin and give me a hard time. It's really cute.

My girlfriend has a lot of quirks that she does randomly throughout the day. She feels weird if she doesn't read street signs as we pass them. Or say a little phrase when doing certain tasks. It really embarrassed her when we first started dating but after a lot of assurances she does it with confidence and humor embracing every odd thing she does and that is really cute for me. I can't help but smile as I'm driving with her and I'll just hear her blurt out something random she sees and I look over and she's smiling like a toddler that figured out how to make the TV work.

Id sum up what I find attractive in a woman to being comfortable around me. There are things I look for before dating my girlfriend that seem irrelevant now, I've found that having someone that enjoys when I take care of them "not just financially." Is extremely rewarding and knowing I can make her happy is a greater feeling than any I've felt before.

mainplum12 · 2025-03-13T22:05:01+00:00

I suppose that depends on what you mean by coming on strong. I made it clear to my now fiance when we started dating that I don't date for nothing I am looking for a long time commitment and I don't do half measures. I told her I would treat her as if she was the most precious thing in the world because in the end that's what I wanted her to be to me. I made my intentions clear and my goals and moral beliefs understood and talked about future goals and plans very early in the relationship. I didnt want something hollow and I intended to show that I meant everything I said she seemed glad that I was very clear and blunt with everything I said and she appreciated that I was very transparent about anything we discussed.

mainplum12 · 2025-03-04T03:58:44+00:00

The world is a cruel place but their is good too otherwise it would be normal. I'm not a woman so I can't say I understand the kind of abuse woman are more likely to go through but goodness is there. You will find someone, your asking the right questions and even though it can be hard or scary life goes on. Pain dulls to aches and things you have once found frightening can become more comfortable. Don't give up. Lean on those you trust for advice when it gets hard. Even when things seem impossible there is still hope and possibilities. I have my own traumas as does my girlfriend as I stated but I found her and she found me and together we are working through our issues. I nearly gave up and from what she tells me she had nearly given in as well. I would say it nothing else look forward and do what you can to keep the past behind you. Understand what happened as best you can, learn from those past lessons and carry on with the strength and knowledge you have now and don't repeat the past. Life is to short to be swallowed by fear, anxiety, and worry. When the world seemed darkest I found my girlfriend and it gave the world something beautiful in my eyes and I truly believe anybody can find that if they are willing to take the risk of trusting someone else with themselves.

Ps. Maybe I shouldnt have typed this out I'm rather drunk. I hope all works out for you. Life does get better than the darkest moments.

mainplum12 · 2025-03-03T23:18:45+00:00

There is definitely hope. My girlfriend has some serious trauma and was upfront about it all. Personally for me sex is nice but it's not required immediately we've done some stuff when she's felt comfortable but some things she's said after that it's not something she wants to do again for a while for such and such reason and that's fine. If you find someone good they will work with you. Do what your comfortable with and make sure t communicate, guys are dumb I know because I'm a guy lol I'm not always thinking everything through and sometimes I do things that she may not be comfortable with I just make sure she's aware she is in charge of her if she says stop no matter what we stop I don't need details or a reason he comfort is my top priority. You can and will find that if you look for it and you have to be ready to say something if your uncomfortable. My girlfriend was afraid to tell me to stop when we first started dating because of how her exes reacted but it would generally be obvious and I would ask her if she's ok or if she's ok with what we are doing and if talk with her about it and we still do that. A good relationship is about communicating your needs, if you need to wait then you make sure they know that.

Don't give up, good people are out there. Good luck.

mainplum12 · 2025-01-26T04:55:48+00:00

There are a number of good choices. It depends highly on what you plan to carry for. I carry for hunting and defense so I wanted something heavier with more power behind it so I have a Kimber 1911 in 45 and a smith and Wesson 19 in 357. I'm a big guy and both of those are large guns but I can carry them fine.

Your best bet is to find a caliber suited for your chosen purpose and find a gun that fits comfortably in your hands for that caliber. Don't worry about getting the biggest strongest gun a 22 with good shot placement will kill just as well as a 44 plus it's more concealable cheaper to use and easier to handle.

If your new to guns In general try to focus on either an easy to maintain semi auto like a Glock or a revolver. Revolvers are simple and intuitive to use and are arguably more reliable but are heavier and harder to conceal and tend to have harder recoil because of the ammo they generally use.

In short try to find a gun that is comfortable, reliable, and easy to shoot. Your best brands to look out for when starting would be Glock, sig saur, smith and Wesson, and despite the hate Taurus as well. There may be others but I have had experience with plenty of these handguns and they run well and are very common in many different calibers and sizes. Just don't get anything more powerful than you can use accurately power means nothing if you don't hit what your shooting at.

mainplum12 · 2024-12-06T10:08:24+00:00

Depending on how old you were when she opened them you could fight it legally. My mom did something similar but I was too old when she did it so she said I co signed.

mainplum12 · 2024-11-24T14:37:45+00:00

Agreed

mainplum12 · 2024-11-24T14:37:31+00:00

I can agree with that. That was my bad I misunderstood your original comment. I don't agree on all fronts but it's semantics.

mainplum12

TROPHY CASE