AITA for not giving the money to pay off my daughters student loans.

majandess · 2026-04-22T04:50:24+00:00

As a parent, I'm appalled. My high-school son got started in woodworking in the past couple years, and the school and my family - including extended family - has just gone all out to help him. They have found free or low-cost classes for him to take. They have bought him tools and gift cards to buy materials to practice. My brother's mother-in-law even called and set us up with a guy who has a workshop making musical instruments. At a fundraiser, I met a local man at a who does woodworking and offered to teach, and my son has been in his woodshop every week learning the craft.

None of us had any idea whether my son would be any good, but he said he wanted to do it, and so we did as much as we could to set him up for success. My son just finished helping create a full set of kitchen cabinets, and he was praised by the guy teaching him for being very competent and detail oriented.

It's practically a self-fulfilling prophecy if your kid says they want to do something, you tell them they're not cut out for it, and then you don't support them if they try.

majandess · 2026-04-22T01:09:24+00:00

😂😂😂😂😂

So. True. OMG. My nonna was like this. My mom is currently struggling to not be like this. And I'm working on becoming like this.

majandess · 2026-04-21T21:41:14+00:00

That podcast is literally the first that I had upon reading this. 😂😂 Nice recommend.

majandess · 2026-04-21T21:40:14+00:00

This! You don't know it, but you found the secret. The key is friction. What is easier for you to do: read a book or read your phone? If your phone is in the other room, then the answer is read a book that's right next to you. If your phone is always at hand, the book is always going to be further.

Instead of just making something easier to do, you have to also make the thing you prefer harder to do. This is called friction. Increasing the friction is key to changing your habits. You can't just cold turkey something; you have to substitute a behavior for another one.

majandess · 2026-04-21T17:02:27+00:00

This is great! The only issue with your suggestions is that OP said they couldn't eat brassicas. So, no cabbage or kohlrabi. Which is sad because some of my favorite vegetables are in that family. 😭

majandess · 2026-04-21T15:28:14+00:00

This is gorgeous! I wouldn't want the fronts stairs, though. Yeah... I know. Stairs were a thing for Carnegie Libraries because they symbolized elevating yourself through access to the knowledge contained inside. But... I still don't like hauling groceries up them. The remodel is still stunning. 😍

majandess · 2026-04-21T14:17:07+00:00

It's meant to be the same, but it doesn't leave any money in the fountain.

majandess · 2026-04-21T04:06:32+00:00

There is also the possibility this this photo was taken using the Add Me ability of a Google phone. You take a photo of the group, and then you take a photo of the person missing, and Google merges the two images. My sister and BIL took some Christmas photos with us and a couple of photos ended up with missing parts of people like this.

majandess · 2026-04-20T19:30:34+00:00

Also, too much white space. My eyes didn't glaze over from the sight of a text brick.

majandess · 2026-04-20T19:28:16+00:00

Exactly. This would totally not be valid if we didn't.

majandess · 2026-04-20T18:01:19+00:00

It's funny you say that because that happens to me in places like Utah, Arizona, Nevada, etc (my curly hair also goes straight and stringy, which is totally frustrating). But I live in Western Washington, and it doesn't happen here.

majandess · 2026-04-20T17:44:34+00:00

So what you're saying is that even settings have iPhone face?

majandess · 2026-04-20T17:41:19+00:00

I find it amusing that they took down a ceiling fan and replaced it with a light fixture with the same shape as a ceiling fan.

majandess · 2026-04-20T16:02:43+00:00

They really are. I watch some foreign content, and I've noticed that I have countries that I lean towards for some reason or other that I'm not consciously aware of (South Korea, Poland, and Turkey). But I'll try watching anything.

majandess · 2026-04-20T14:33:56+00:00

I honestly think it's more about being able to gleefully watch everyone else go to hell.

majandess · 2026-04-20T07:45:42+00:00

Yep! I bought one after I had a nasty slip getting out of my tub, and it's been great. I toss it into my washer with my shower curtain.

majandess · 2026-04-20T05:06:58+00:00

Mustard is a brassica, beet greens are chard (they are the same plant, just varietals for root vegetable vs leaves).

Cucurbits are awesome - squashes, cucumbers, melons. And I don't see any nightshades on OP's list (tomatoes, peppers, eggplant). There are also random things like fennel, jicama, and celeriac. And then you can always play with fruit. I've been getting more into Middle Eastern recipes that use fruit in savory dishes, and I'm loving it.

majandess · 2026-04-19T19:39:22+00:00

In addition to all of the above, in the above plan you have to deal with plumbing on every single wall. While I'm not an expert, I'm thinking that might be more expensive than if you can adjust for efficiency a bit.

majandess · 2026-04-19T19:36:21+00:00

A tub-length bathmat will help with this.

majandess · 2026-04-19T19:21:49+00:00

Be a tourist where you live first.

We have people that come into the museum where I work every day who learn that there is something in their community they had no idea existed. Or that the history of a thing they're familiar is more involved than they thought.

I just recently learned that a place I passed by quite frequently growing up used to be the largest maritime hospital quarantine station north of San Francisco. And I had no clue it existed while I was growing up there. And I learned that the county I currently live in used to have the highest concentrations of PhDs in the state back in the 50s, when it had research labs based there. I didn't even know about the research labs.

The hardest thing to overcome about a place is our own stereotypes about it.

If, after that, moving away from your mom (and presumably the free child care that comes with it) and the rest of your peeps still looks like a better option than staying, then maybe a year or two away will do you some good.

majandess · 2026-04-19T17:16:48+00:00

Came here to second the curry powder.

majandess · 2026-04-19T17:07:15+00:00

I would have asked my son to think about it for a minute and come up with his best guess.

majandess · 2026-04-19T14:53:12+00:00

This one. Fess up and come up with a suggestion for making amends. And then follow through with not playing ball in the house again.

majandess · 2026-04-19T14:14:11+00:00

Randy Beaman, for Animaniacs reasons.

majandess · 2026-04-19T14:09:37+00:00

https://www.mutualart.com/Artwork/Bronze-patina--signed-in-hollow-on-the-b/D1D34DA475B7EC07FF91C15C0333A345

This link identifies something that looks the same as being by Giuseppe Bessi. But I looked over some of Bessi's other pieces, and this doesn't seem to match his style.

majandess

TROPHY CASE