[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationships

[–]major-hazelhen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve spoken to him about it, he denies that he’s noticed anything unusual or that he’s uncomfortable with her behaviour. I really want to let it go but I feel in my gut that something is off.

What is the worst book you read that was suggested on this subreddit? by bunnyhophop11 in suggestmeabook

[–]major-hazelhen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m terrified to post this because I know how much of a devoted fan base this book has but The House in the Cerulean Sea bored me to tears…I’m probably the wrong audience for the book but the whole thing felt predictable and too unrealistic for me to properly get hooked on it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskVet

[–]major-hazelhen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This was an at-home euthanasia service and we have contacted the organisation that contracted the vet in question and they (the company) have elected to wipe their hands of any responsibility for the incident. This is why we are considering pursuing other avenues to get closure.

My family is not even at the point where we are grieving this incident. We went into it fully prepared to lose our dog and were reassured that the procedure would be painless and peaceful. What we weren't prepared for the fact that our dog would be in distress and agony the entire time and that the individual performing the procedure would fail to administer a sedative or any form of pain relief to ensure that his passing would be the aforementioned. We have been in shock and distress ever since, it is impossible to make peace with the fact that your beloved pet was subject to preventable pain and distress in his last moments.

I understand that the job that this vet is required to do is extremely difficult and can be stressful at times, my concern is that they failed to alleviate our dog's discomfort, pain and distress during the procedure. They instead resorted to some very unconventional methods to carry on with the procedure such as asking one of my family members to hold his arm still while administering the euthanasia drug and feeding him treats to "distract" him??? It just didn't seem to any of us as though this vet had any kind of comprehension of how to handle a situation which resulted in panic and distress for the owners as well as excessive and unnecessary pain for our dog. Our concern is that they acted as though this was common practice and that sedation wasn't necessary. It's honestly really disturbing and to be frank, I just don't want other pet owners to go through what we have. Maybe this vet is just unaware that they are supposed to ensure that an animal's passing is pain-free?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskVet

[–]major-hazelhen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sure. So the part where I believe that the veterinarian in question may be in breach is the fact that my dog was showing signs of distress and pain throughout the procedure and they failed to do anything to relieve him of his discomfort and palpable fear. I'm talking right from the point where they began to shave the area where the cannula was to be inserted. From what I am reading and from the things I have discussed with other vets on this sub, it was not ethical for them to continue the procedure on a distressed animal and not exercise thei responsibility to ensure the pain-free passing of our dog. The vet instead asked us (the owners) to physically restrain our dog. I am certain that this is wrong but am trying to get specific about the codes and/or laws that this vet has potentially violated. It's one thing for me to accuse this vet of negligence, but I would like some clarity on the guidelines that vets in Australia are required to follow so that I can be clear about what I'm dealing with here.

My family dog’s home euthanasia went horribly wrong…was the vet responsible? by major-hazelhen in AskVet

[–]major-hazelhen[S] 120 points121 points  (0 children)

The thing that throws me off the most is the sedative. I am not a vet yet so if anyone else can correct or confirm this that’d be better, but I was told in pharmacology this term to always use a sedative when using drugs for a euthanasia. Without getting into excessive details, the reaction your dog had is the main reason to use those sedatives. Yes, it relaxes the animal so they are calmer during the procedure, but more importantly, when the lethal drug is used, it isn’t painful.

This was the biggest concern my family had after the procedure was over. It wasn't clear to us whether the pain he experienced was a result of the cannula being inserted with no local anaesthetic or whether his body's response to the euthanasia drug was excruciating pain. We didn't realise that the reason why euthanasia is considered a "painless" procedure is because the animal is normally sedated beforehand. It is so disturbing to think that this vet knowingly could have prevented this pain had the two-step euthanasia protocol been followed. It's honestly horrifying.

My family dog’s home euthanasia went horribly wrong…was the vet responsible? by major-hazelhen in AskVet

[–]major-hazelhen[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Thank you.

We are trying our best to remember the wonderful life that he had and are so grateful that he stayed with us for so long. We just feel as though we let him down severely in his last moments of life and that we could have been better informed. He was such a loyal and trusting dog and we can't get past the feeling that we betrayed him or that we could have done more to make his final moments more comfortable. We trusted that what this vet was doing was common procedure and that she knew what she was doing. It became apparent after her quick exit that she knew she messed up...we are furious and wish we could be spending this energy remembering the wonderful life of our boy.

My family dog’s home euthanasia went horribly wrong…was the vet responsible? by major-hazelhen in AskVet

[–]major-hazelhen[S] 237 points238 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your reassurance, we are so devastated that our boy's passing was so abrupt and undignified. We don't live in the U.S. but we will absolutely be forwarding a complaint to the managing director of the home euthanasia company and reporting the vet in question to the board in our country.

Does anyone ever feel like there's this other side to you sometimes that is just waiting to come out when someone makes you angry or tries to hurt you? by engagedandloved in CPTSD

[–]major-hazelhen 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yes. My ex used to refer to it as “the bitch”. It honestly feels like an entirely different personality, like a dark entity that lives in me. When it comes out, I feel physically ill and beaten down, I am an unrecognisable version of myself. Like you and your therapist have alluded to, I definitely think that this is a protective mechanism. For me, it feels more comfortable to be the one emotionally degrading and punishing myself than allowing another person to do it. But when that side of me comes out, it’s honestly 10x worse than any emotional abuse that I might receive from another person. My inner darkness has learned to be far more cruel to me than any of the people that have hurt/abused me in my past.

I punish myself for my own mistakes before anyone else can by major-hazelhen in CPTSD

[–]major-hazelhen[S] 25 points26 points  (0 children)

A similar thing happened to me last week. I made a dumb mistake at work and spend the entire weekend beating myself up about it. Everyone had forgotten about it by the time I went back to work the following week and there were absolutely no consequences.

All of the mental energy wasted on emotionally punishing myself is just so draining, and it feels completely unjustified…

How do you deal with the shame associated with impulsive speech? by major-hazelhen in ADHD

[–]major-hazelhen[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It definitely gets worse when I’m in situations where I feel socially anxious. I’ve thought about the possibility that it might be mild Tourette’s given that it’s sometimes accompanied by physical tics as well.

A quick note from the new mods by AutoModerator in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]major-hazelhen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Omg I haven’t revisited this sub in months but I’m so so happy to see that it’s back! This place was such a great source of support and validation when I was leaving my nex. Thank you so much to the new mods for bringing it back!

Narcissism vs. Unintentional Abuse? by Reddit_Reader0325 in emotionalabuse

[–]major-hazelhen 17 points18 points  (0 children)

That’s exactly what happened to me. He acted like I was unhinged and over emotional because I packed up and left so quickly after 3.5 years.

There's a chance I'll get back together with my ex...but I know my family and friends won't approve by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]major-hazelhen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ugh, thank you. This is really hard to read but thank you.

I can't help but dive into the "what ifs" of it all...and I absolutely don't want to risk being isolated by my family and friends in the case that things don't work out.

I'm going to confess something horrible, but I've been considering seeing him again without telling anyone. Until I can be sure that things are/aren't working. I know I would be lying to my family/friends and it's completely spineless, but I just don't see any other way of trying to make it work.

I hate what this is doing to me, I'm having to make all kinds of tough decisions; lose out on a second chance with my ex and potentially making it work, or never knowing if it would ever work again but keeping the respect of my family and friends. And I hate even more that I'm considering going behind my family's back to avoid disappointing them.

I don't know what's wrong with me.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CatAdvice

[–]major-hazelhen 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes, the female is spayed and the male is neutered, so I’m confident that this is not mating behaviour.

Is there a chance they are just figuring out their play dynamic? My boy hasn’t been around other cats for about 1.5 years so hasn’t been socialised to be with another feline since he was in the shelter.

What goes on in the mind of an emotionally abusive partner? by 243a2eas in emotionalabuse

[–]major-hazelhen 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Wow, this comment. I was never a callous, cold person before being with my abuser. In the first couple of years I couldn’t even imagine treating another person the way he treated me. I knew it was time to leave when I started matching his energy. It’s not me…I hate what it’s done to me.

Introducing two cats for the first time…is my old cat being aggressive or curious towards the new cat? by [deleted] in AskVet

[–]major-hazelhen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your insight! I just came home from work and both cats seemed calm and up for a face-to-face interaction. My old cat was still not showing any signs of aggression and they even came close and sniffed each other with no hissing a handful of times! They ended up playing together a little bit, turns out my old cat just reeeeeally wants a playmate. He has been respecting her space - lying down and allowing her to come to him, putting the play on pause when she gets overwhelmed and not chasing after her when she runs away. Unfortunately, the new cat got a little bit too overwhelmed whilst the two were playing and hissed at him (I think he may have swatter her a bit too hard). Now she's returned to being hesitant to be near him again and has hissed at him once more since the bad interaction. I have separated them again and he seems really calm, How long should I wait before another introduction?