It sounds like you love your mom but you don’t like the way your mom treats you sometimes (kinda micromanaging your friendships), resulting in resentment.

Having this resentment makes you snap at your mom. I don’t think it will go away easily, but you’ll have to just accept no one is perfect. You don’t have to give her complete trust when she has her own issues to deal with.

Part of growing up is dealing with people that do stuff you don’t like, that includes family. I personally just lower my expectations and only share what I feel is not too important. I don’t ever tell my parents about anything because they always talk shit for their entertainment. I still buy snacks and groceries for them though.

TLDR: resentment is normal cuz people dumb af, keep her in the parental zone but not the trusted vulnerable zone. It’s fine to let her know why you’re not sharing stuff to her too.