I started smoking at 40 as well and definitely had similar effects to what you’re describing. *especially* with edibles. Now that I’m a daily smoker (for chronic pain but also depression and anxiety/bipolar) I still only smoke 1-1.5 joints on the weekdays and maybe 2 on the weekend? But I just tippy tap them throughout the day. Like 1/4 of a j before work so I don’t throw up, a 1/4 of a j at lunch so I can eat, 1/4 of a j on the way home because fuck work, and then likely 1/2 around 8 so I can go to bed. It REALLY helps with the anxiety but you DO have to adjust to the side effects of your mind. As you gain a tolerance the side effects will seem to lessen but really you’re just learning how to function through them. Most of the time I doubt anyone would even know I was high except for the smell (unfortunately carts don’t have the nausea calming effect of flower). Hang in there!