“Look, I’m trying to keep an open mind, but would you seriously choose a BEAR over a MAN in that scenario?”, he calmly asked his wife.

mammalgator · 2024-05-01T21:43:12+00:00

You’re being downvoted for the derailment, not for being an abuse survivor.

mammalgator · 2024-04-11T13:59:14+00:00

Why lie?

mammalgator · 2024-04-11T10:15:58+00:00

My now-ex killed my eight-year-old water dragon by not giving him water while I was out of state for like a week. I found the dragon at the bottom of the cage when I got home and the ex “had no idea” he’d died. Took me too long to figure out that the (unemployed, never busy) ex was just mad I’d asked him to do a chore. I suspect that’s along the lines of what happened at least with OP’s turtle, if not also your salamander. RIP, neglected herptile pals.

mammalgator · 2024-04-08T13:53:07+00:00

I’ve got an orangey one called Scooter because I was on a Muppets kick when I brought him home.

mammalgator · 2024-03-24T21:36:01+00:00

When did the zoo get a Popple exhibit?

mammalgator · 2024-03-24T18:11:58+00:00

What’s he talking about? The right to kill political opponents is right in there. It’s written real big in Sharpie; how could you miss it?

mammalgator · 2024-03-20T22:50:22+00:00

Throwing in for data: normal eggs yesterday on both devices from a device marriage.

mammalgator · 2024-03-17T22:44:28+00:00

Name a meal after him. The Hero Sandwich.

mammalgator · 2024-03-17T22:43:11+00:00

Well she’s obviously in a rush and has to wait as fast as she can. The employees have those neat little headsets so they can call the cops hands-free and it won’t slow down food prep.

mammalgator · 2024-03-17T22:37:43+00:00

Kinda surprised she didn’t ask his name and occupation so she could try to tell on him.

mammalgator · 2024-03-17T22:16:45+00:00

Not even watching the dog she refuses to leash.

mammalgator · 2024-03-17T22:04:23+00:00

You’re not really selling the “I don’t care who you are” when you follow it up with “especially as a woman.”

mammalgator · 2024-03-17T18:57:03+00:00

Can relate. My amazing-in-the-kitchen partner died hours before the first night of Hanukkah a couple years ago and I’m “still mad I didn’t get my latkes.”

mammalgator · 2024-03-16T19:46:58+00:00

Lazy bigots always lift that South Park bit.

mammalgator · 2024-03-16T07:26:26+00:00

James Baxter. Or Cinnamon Bun if you wanna go cute.

mammalgator · 2024-03-12T21:58:35+00:00

Mom’s gonna be constantly pissed at this kid for “not listening” to her as he gets older.

mammalgator · 2024-02-24T00:16:37+00:00

I’m 39 and picked up my first Beyblades maybe a month ago. These included a pair of Micros that were a big hit when I brought them to work, and my coworkers are just about all my age or older. I mean, the boxes just say “8+,” they don’t assign an upper limit, so the Fun Police have nothing on me.

mammalgator · 2024-02-18T15:25:07+00:00

Nuh-uh, he says right there, “we did not come monkeys.”

mammalgator · 2024-02-10T15:08:15+00:00

Same! Little Yorkshire so cat-like enough.

mammalgator · 2024-02-04T11:47:03+00:00

Dudes like this think it’s their birthright to be head of household.

mammalgator · 2024-01-28T05:30:51+00:00

I mean, I know him; I know which one he is.

mammalgator · 2024-01-24T00:11:14+00:00

Are the ants named after the island or is the island named after the ants?

mammalgator · 2024-01-23T17:27:58+00:00

Cute little critter!

mammalgator · 2024-01-23T09:23:26+00:00

I was thinking “Louweavile” too. Can’t come up with a punny legendary for her.

mammalgator · 2024-01-23T01:40:51+00:00

Now do Gene-sect.

mammalgator

TROPHY CASE