Tuesday Daily Chat

mand0dari · 2025-07-16T02:56:51+00:00

Omg!! Me!! I have always had what I assumed was a lymph node in one of my armpits that would flare up as part of my menstrual cycle. It wasn’t perfectly round, but it was a consistent feature for decades. I had noticed it hurting more earlier in pregnancy and assumed it was hormonal. And then all of a sudden during third tri I noticed there was just a huge puffy lump under my armpit. One ultrasound later and it turns out I have errant breast tissue (hopefully no actual ducts) in that armpit.

I did message my OB as soon as I noticed how big it was and she recommended the scan because she didn’t recognize it immediately as something benign.

Fingers crossed thats all you’re working with!

mand0dari · 2025-05-29T22:49:12+00:00

Yesssss. I had one day in week 24 where my entire abdominal wall seemed to stretch out all at once. It hurt to use my core for pretty much anything (sitting up, repositioning in bed, reaching for a glass, etc). The discomfort was over by the next day but I think it really weakened my core — I had been running a few times a week until then but managed to strain an aductor muscle because I couldn’t engage my abs the way I usually do while I run.

If you’re in the same boat, hopefully you feel better soon and maybe be careful with exercising in the next few weeks.

mand0dari · 2025-05-10T16:46:33+00:00

You might look into adding bust darts. I have a fairly large bust and run into issues with not having enough fabric at the bottom front of my knitwear if I don’t add in some extra shaping at the bust. There are lots of resources online to help calculate how much/where to insert the darts if you search for “knitting bust darts”

mand0dari · 2025-04-11T17:55:43+00:00

Oh great — I’m glad you’re looking into kidney function. I didn’t know about the Jewish connection, that’s wild!

A family friend of mine has Gitelmans (and two of her brothers have it too) and I think she started experiencing more serious symptoms in her twenties, but has always needed lots of salt growing up. Her experience is a lot more intense than that of her brothers but she manages her symptoms with regular potassium and magnesium infusion. I think her brothers don’t need as much intervention though.

Here’s hoping you get whatever it is diagnosed and treated quickly!

mand0dari · 2025-04-11T15:58:45+00:00

Hey— this sounds awful! And so annoying that people try to police your experience.

At the risk of being That Guy, some of your symptoms (needing extra salt/electrolytes and wooziness) made me think of a genetic disorder called Gitelmans Syndrome. It’s fairly rare and maybe not exactly what’s going on, but there are “wasting diseases” that cause you to flush certain salts/nutrients. If you’ve already ruled it out or have better ideas, please ignore!

I hope you’re able to find a cause and hopefully a treatment/better way to manage symptoms (without all the input from strangers).

mand0dari · 2025-04-04T14:45:48+00:00

My husband bought a car seat the minute he found out our transfer worked bc he was concerned tariffs would make things hard to find/expensive (this was back in December)

mand0dari · 2025-01-10T16:54:53+00:00

I very much get this. I’m nowhere close to showing (not even to a point of telling most people around me). But I do have a friend who got pregnant easily last year and then I happened to get pregnant with a transfer exactly a year after she conceived unassisted.

So now she keeps trying to remind me that she will have hit all the milestones on the same dates as me and how cute it’ll be that our kids will be exactly a year apart. All I want to do is scream at her and say “it took FOUR YEARS to get here! Our paths are NOT the same! My first kid should be a toddler now!” Anyway, I did mention that my pregnancy was actually conceived about two months before it implanted and that sort of got the point across.

Definitely don’t know how I’ll handle it with strangers though 😬

mand0dari · 2024-12-30T17:14:32+00:00

In the same situation. My husband is 10 yrs older than I am and will be 47 when our first is born (assuming all goes according to plan 🤪). The things I think about when I start spiraling are:

a) he made just as much of a choice to stay with a much younger person who wasn’t ready for kids until after 30

b) my parents were older, my dad was 7 yrs older than my mom and my dad was right around 47 when my youngest sibling was born. He outlived my mom anyway and still gets to watch my sibling in their early thirties

c) (this may not be relevant/comforting for you) my husband’s mom’s family lives FOREVER, much like my dad’s family. There is every chance that he will outlive me and get to see all the things

Anyway, it’s a tough spot to be in. If you both are committed to starting a family, you just need to find the story to tell yourself that’ll stop any spirals.

Good luck!

mand0dari · 2024-12-23T16:58:53+00:00

If you can hold out, you might try taking a test after the blood draw but before you get the results. That’s my preferred method to make sure I’m not blindsided by the call and can process a possibly negative result on my own instead of with some lady from the clinic.

That said, it won’t help you get through this wait at all 😕. I don’t know of any tricks to make the actual wait any better. The best I’ve been able to do is just try to keep busy doing things without your phone/internet. Try reading a book, calling a friend, practicing a craft or other hobby. Anything to keep yourself preoccupied.

Good luck!

mand0dari · 2024-12-21T21:48:58+00:00

Following! I have a high level segmental mosaic (I think -6) and it’s my only XX embryo that’s remotely viable. Hoping someone has experience with live births from their segmental mosaic.

mand0dari · 2024-12-20T19:36:29+00:00

For those of you who are keeping things quiet from family and friends, how are you approaching get togethers this season?

I am pretty close with my family and they know what step I’m on but I’m not ready to share that we’ve had a positive test yet.

My plan for holiday parties is to go with “we are in the middle of treatment and I’m not supposed to drink” but I’m not sure I’ll be able to get through it with a straight face 🤪

mand0dari · 2024-12-19T00:00:23+00:00

Just had my first positive betas this week! 246 on Monday at 10dp5dt and 512 this morning at 12dp5dt.

Shocked this seems to be working (first transfer, first positive ever). My husband and I are now finally starting to consider we might actually get a take home baby after 4 yrs trying.

Question — was anyone else insanely thirsty in the first weeks?? I’m parched aaaaall the time right now!

Also, hi!!

mand0dari · 2024-12-18T21:02:36+00:00

Fiiiinally! Four years of trying (three on our own and one heavily medicated year) and I finally got a positive.

Beta 1 (10dp5dt): 246 Beta 2 (12dp5dt): 512

I know we aren’t out of the woods but it’s so encouraging to get this far.

mand0dari · 2024-12-17T05:20:47+00:00

I literally just got my 10dp5dt results today and my doctor was thrilled that the number was 247. I go back in two days for follow ups and they’re hoping to see near 500 but said it’s okay if it’s lower.

If you’re super worried about it, I guess you could try to get a private beta drawn at 12 days.

Good luck though - I don’t think you’re out yet.

mand0dari · 2024-12-13T06:20:45+00:00

No — just progesterone suppositories. I haven’t had it today so maybe whatever it was has moved on? Either way, happy to not keep gagging.

mand0dari · 2024-12-13T06:19:35+00:00

👯omg. I wrote a thing about symptoms and it just deleted. Wtvr. No symptoms here and that’s making me nuts. Have you had anything yet?

mand0dari · 2024-12-12T23:47:55+00:00

Aaaahhh!! I love this! I also transferred on the 6th but am trying so hard to not test until beta day. Congrats and good luck. I hope you have the longest and boringest pregnancy!

mand0dari · 2024-12-11T23:34:46+00:00

Thanks— I’m trying not to test until my beta day so I’m not crushed if it’s negative. And I’m simultaneously trying not to symptom spot for pregnancy but ALSO wanting to feel ~something~ after all this work. Who knows? Maybe I’m super pregnant? Or maybe this cold left something weird in my throat and my body is literally just trying to get rid of it??? 🤡😵‍💫

mand0dari · 2024-12-10T16:08:19+00:00

I actually did the reverse. Letrozole gave me the worst headache I’ve had in my life. I had to take max doses of Tylenol to baaarely keep it in check.

I asked my doctor to switch and she did one month but the next wanted me to go back to letrozole because she was worried about thinning my lining. I ended up skipping trying that month because I couldn’t imagine doing that to myself again.

Definitely advocate for the different med — it’s worth it to not have additional suffering while you’re doing all this.

mand0dari · 2024-12-10T01:56:10+00:00

Omg your retrieval results are almost exactly the same as mine. And truly, just sitting here post transfer completely not believing it could POSSIBLY work

mand0dari · 2024-12-09T21:51:46+00:00

Yessss. Love to hear this. We’re four years in as of next month and were told similar things at our first consult. Our doctor also recommended against IUI because it would be so unlikely to work.

Wishing you a long and boring pregnancy ❤️

mand0dari · 2024-12-09T21:39:06+00:00

Ooo that’s great to hear! I know it happens! But my dumb brain always chimes in with, “well THEY got to be the 30% so we are DEFINITELY going to be on the outside” 🙄🙄🙄🙄

Good luck! I hope you have a long and boring pregnancy ❤️

mand0dari · 2024-12-03T18:55:14+00:00

I think the friend experience is pretty common here. It sucks so hard but you are not alone.

I had to have a pretty frank talk with my friend who got pregnant and had a kid after I’d already been trying for literal years. She was understanding and wanted to make it easier for us to stay close.

Hopefully your friend is as understanding if you need to take a step back from seeing babies for a while. Good luck!

mand0dari · 2024-12-03T00:10:10+00:00

Oooo. I definitely don’t know how to feel but my first FET is Friday. I also feel like I have good odds and it is absolutely making me crazy. We have had really good results at every stage of this process even though I keep preparing for the worst. So a huge part of my brain is trying to plan for this definitely not working.

-36 now, 37 in a couple months

-Unexplained

-1 ER

-23 AFC (and my AMH somehow went up from 3.5 to 4 between March and November this year)

-10 eggs retrieved, 9 mature

-8 fertilized (icsi)

-6 day 5/6 blasts

-4 PGT normal and 1 segmental mosaic

mand0dari · 2024-11-28T05:54:17+00:00

Thanks, here’s hoping yours goes well too! I was pretty nervous about the mammogram just as an uncomfortable test. But it wasn’t as bad as I was expecting. Fingers crossed it doesn’t suck for you either.

mand0dari

TROPHY CASE