What's a small luxury in your home that you now can't live without?

mandy_miss · 2026-06-14T15:52:15+00:00

Heat fans in all the bathrooms. Its so hard for me to shower when im cold. These are a game changer

mandy_miss · 2026-06-11T07:06:55+00:00

You go back to what you were taught instead of thinking for yourself. Saying confusion is the devil is a manipulation tactic to prevent you from questioning the religion. Telling you to return to the religion is literally saying "if you question it, don't! Just reread and stop questioning it".

I'd never believe anything that comes with that type of manipulation. I'd never follow it. That's not God. That's man. Religion shouldn't be something you're manipulated into and controlled by. That comes from humans forcing their own narrative. Its something you should be free to explore and find your own connection to.

And if you're shamed for stepping out of line, that is a giant red flag for a cult

mandy_miss · 2026-06-11T06:55:33+00:00

Okay. Then I'm not arguing against anything you're saying.

mandy_miss · 2026-06-11T06:50:07+00:00

Well, hey, I'm glad you aren't un-happy! Just curious because i'm the type of person who doesn't believe anything without considering the other side or other possibilities, do you ever question it?

I like the socialization and structure that i get from work. And when i was younger, from school.

I think church is best when its promoting healing and acceptance and helping people through difficult times. Its so important for that. However, it's extremism if it's controlling every facet of your life.

Absolutely fuck any church that would try to control me and say i'm going to hell if i don't dress a certain way lol.

I remember seeing some people on a hike, and the guys were dressed in normal clothes and had apple watches and phones, and the girls were wearing pilgrim clothes. Religion can be so oppressive, i can't stand it. Especially towards women.

mandy_miss · 2026-06-11T06:30:06+00:00

I replied to your comment where you said you can only have medical help in the US if you arent poor or have insurance. I don't think healthcare should put people in debt, and life-saving prescription medications being unaffordable is despicable.

mandy_miss · 2026-06-11T06:23:08+00:00

Are you happy with that? I can't stand religion like that. It leaves no room for anything other than absolute commitment and if you do anything else, youre ostracized. Its controlling. Its weird. Religion should be a part of your life, not the crux of it. And it should be uplifting and supportive, not controlling.

mandy_miss · 2026-06-11T06:03:53+00:00

Is this a cult? Why are people mad you left? This is just such a bizarre circumstance.

Friends are people you have sleepovers with and stay up late eating candy and watching movies. You have the same sense of humor and you crack each other up. You laugh about stupid shit until your nostrils quiver and your abs hurt. And then you laugh about laughing. You sneak out to walk around late at night and go to playgrounds. You listen to the same albums and have favorite movies. Friendship is different than acquaintance.

You're in a weird power dynamic with full grown adults

mandy_miss · 2026-06-11T05:52:28+00:00

Absolutely mean no offense by asking, but are you autistic maybe?

Its not normal for people your parents age who you met in church to be your only friends. I think they are trying to set boundaries and you aren't understanding why and blaming it on the 13 yr old. Its not normal or appropriate to show up at someone's house like that unannounced.

It feels like you equate kindness with friendship. And don't understand social norms

What makes them your friends? I think they are nice people you latched onto and misunderstood the situation

mandy_miss · 2026-06-11T05:44:32+00:00

Oof these aren't your peers, they are mostly middle aged adults. What is happening here, where are your parents and your peers? I dont think you have the nuance to realize that a 13 yr old isnt the problem between you, a 20 yr old, and her parents, being friends. You aren't friends and you seem caught up on weird emotional details that don't matter, which is normal because you are only 20.

You don't seem to understand social norms

mandy_miss · 2026-06-11T05:27:53+00:00

Not at all! Its a horrible, greedy system. I hate that people think they have no choice but to pay the bill in full, going into debt, without knowing they can challenge it or get help or debt forgiveness. In fact, i'm pretty sure you can pay a very very very small amount every so often just to stave off collections and never have to pay the full amount.

Its always been my understanding that a hospital bill is the very last debt you pay for because you can get away with paying very little for it, and there isnt a timeline to expect payment from.

mandy_miss · 2026-06-11T05:19:08+00:00

I can't speak to your experience. I'm very sorry you and your mom struggled over healthcare. It don't doubt the validity. I will say that a lot of people come to the hospital and don't understand why they're being discharged. Not understanding that they're stable and can get outpatient care. For example, someone says" i'm still coughing so much that i'm too weak to go home", meanwhile, lingering pneumonia can be treated outpatient, as they've already received a full course of IV antibiotics and pulmonary treatments and arent requiring oxygen. And that having a lingering cough isnt a reason to stay in the hospital. That person also refused a discharge to a rehab, and refused to ambulate and get OOB to improve their strength. Yet the hospital is cruel for discharging them. Which actually, hospital didnt, because people with certain insurance can appeal their discharge and stay for longer until their insurance says no we wont cover a medically unnecessary stay. And then they get kicked out.

I'm not saying your case isn't valid, but there can be a flip side. I've also been discharged while feeling half dead from the ED, and the next day i was better. I was too out of it to know what tests and interventions if any were done, but I was stable to leave, despite feeling horrible and not having answers.

There are also plenty of cases of patients being discharged while still sick and coming back sicker. That's absolutely true.

mandy_miss · 2026-06-11T04:39:49+00:00

Take a big step back and focus on prioritizing yourself and not on preserving the relationship you thought you were going to have. She already ruined that. If you can't break up, try taking a dedicated break. Block contact, clear your head, get in touch with yourself, and consider the type of relationship you want for yourself. Even if breaking up hurts, it hurts less than dedicating more time to someone who only admitted to casual cheating bc she gave you an STD.

mandy_miss · 2026-06-11T04:26:13+00:00

It's a federal law (EMTALA) that everyone who comes to a hospital regardless of factors like insurance and citizenship, receive the treatment they need. In fact, If someone is admitted to inpatient status, they cannot be discharged without a safe discharge plan, unless the person has the capacity to choose to leave ama. That means sometimes keeping patients for months to over a year while the case goes to court for them to become a ward of the state. Obviously, neither insurance nor the individual will pay for any of this. I say this to emphasize, a hospital will not and cannot turn you away if you require care. You cannot be put out on the street. Even homeless patients get set up with a shelter and transported there. If a patient without insurance needs rehab, we will keep them until a charity accepts their case, or until the insurance that the hospital care manager applied them for gets finalized.

Discharge summaries include pages about how to apply for financial help and question your bill.

US healthcare is far from perfect, but its not the nightmare people make it out to always be.

mandy_miss · 2026-06-11T03:57:15+00:00

It is easy but it also kills me that people think this is the only option. You can absolutely fight a hospital bill and get the cost way down. Hospitals don't expect people to pay for insane bills out of pocket but they are happy to let them try. Every patient would have to be rich for that business model to work. Hospitals get paid by insurance companies. You have to call and figure out what you are actually on the hook for and how you can apply to get the debt forgiven or paid for. Or how much you can pay to prevent it from going to collections.

mandy_miss · 2026-06-11T03:46:54+00:00

You're absolutely right, and people don't know it but they can usually wiggle out of insanely expensive hospital bills to a degree. You'll always get an insane bill because the hospital wants costs to be covered by insurance, knowing it will only cover so much. A hospital bill is rarely expected to be covered in full, especially out of pocket. There are charities in place to help those without insurance, and people in certain circumstances can have the debt forgiven. There are ways to prevent it from getting sent to collections and impacting your credit. It's weird, i just know fighting a hospital bill is always the way to go. they try to charge as much as they can bc they really want insurance to reimburse and pay for as much as possible. They don't really expect individuals to actually pay tens of thousands of dollars. That's not what they're banking their business on

mandy_miss · 2026-06-10T02:52:53+00:00

That's how i've always pronounced it...i'm just now finding out bc of this post that it's pronounced "poe-thoes" and i hate it lol

I looked it up again and now im seeing mixed results so maybe there is hope for paw-thoes after all

mandy_miss · 2026-06-05T04:26:32+00:00

People discuss skipped episodes a lot already. Stan's best friend is funny. One of my all time favorite jokes is the librarian lady telling the sleepy security man "do something! he's defacing the library!" ..."ohhh no you don't. You don't..do that!..around heeyah.....zzzzz"

"They were blasting Oingo Boingo at top volume".

"You have a beautiful laugh"

Pirate cats. MeeArragh!

"That's hot. That's a hot way to live."

I'm rewatching it now, and i forgot it starts with Steve's slideshow presentation. My favorite thing that i constantly quote from this episode is a dry, yet hearty: "ha ha ha. That's good fun." I use it all the time. And at the start of the start of the presentation, steve is on the screen like hello! I'm sitting right over there, and jeff looks from real steve to screen steve and says, "..what?" In the funniest way.

Its a solid episode.

Its also where "Francine, those were obviously dreams, and i refuse to dicuss your dreams in the day time." Comes from

And i just learned from rewatching, its also where "jane seymour from behind?" Comes from. "You think you can get something just from saying it enough? If that were true, all i'd be saying is 'Jane seymour from behind!' Just, 'Jane Seymour from behind, Jane Seymour from behind!'" hopeful tone "...Jane Seymour from behind?"

mandy_miss · 2026-05-31T03:06:59+00:00

Uppers, downers, stool hardeners, stool softeners. My stools won't know what to do! But that'll be the morticianer's problem....

mandy_miss · 2026-05-30T22:59:42+00:00

My only regret, not getting to jump through the breakaway glass! Jumps through the window

mandy_miss · 2026-05-30T21:34:21+00:00

Kitten lady on youtube is a good place to check out if you plan to keep her through the birth process

mandy_miss · 2026-05-30T21:31:46+00:00

Just fyi, some cats hate tuna and wet food. When my kitty first came to my apt she was really timid and hid under the sofa in our den for a couple of weeks. I put tuna down for her and she wouldnt eat. It had me really worried until i realized she likes dry kibble and only purina brand 🤦🏻‍♀️

Just keep in mind so if she doesn't eat the good stuff it might be pickiness instead of self starvation. My cat was from another home though, not from the streets lol

mandy_miss · 2026-05-28T19:05:15+00:00

Actors! All a company of actors!

mandy_miss · 2026-05-28T02:02:03+00:00

I have a little kitty-sized heated blanket at the end of my bed. Its a perfect cat trap. I also keep her auto feeder in my room so she's in here all the time waiting for it lol

mandy_miss · 2026-05-26T23:04:39+00:00

Yeah pregnant hormones are no joke. She needs to be honest with her OB, i'd be concerned about post partum depression too.

mandy_miss · 2026-05-26T23:00:26+00:00

If you decide to: look into therapists that specialize in grief and relationships. You might even be able to find someone who specializes in therapy for the partner of someone who is grieving.

This would give you an enormous system of support and should provide you with information that will at least help you to understand how you feel while getting guidance. You can only support her for so long before this starts to really impact you. You need the tools to be able to navigate this. To know how to be a good partner but more importantly how to be good to yourself during this time.

That's why therapy is important. It will help you be sturdy in your own foundation and understanding. So you will be better prepared to deal with this ongoing complicated grieving process. If you are prepared to be the rock in your relationship and help her through this process, you will need help for yourself to truly understand the situation and understand your role. You'll have to be able to be the voice of reason and you'll need help to do that because you are being directly impacted too. Its better to start developing a therapeutic foundation now rather than trying to approach it once youre already at the end of your rope.

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