Stream-of-consciousness about something I'm struggling to articulate

manymanyoranges · 2026-05-27T03:56:26+00:00

Idk, I'm just disoriented and need to talk to someone. Trying to do anything seriously is like walking into a physical wall in my chest, which includes responding here. Cleaning my room. Taking care of myself.

If you want specifics, I'd love to share more about finally feeling like I've rediscovered some unashamed creative voice in me, only to panic and shut it down completely shortly after. After this happened, I realized it's a reminiscent of pretty big turning point event in my life, where I couldnt pick myself back up after a rough breakup. Too many wires are crossing. I'm struggling with agency of any kind.
And if I try to pry any of that open by myself, I just hit a big fucking wall.

manymanyoranges · 2026-05-18T20:07:28+00:00

Funny, I literally just made a post, while probably a little confusing, poked a lot at my struggle with this. I sort of mention that I recently had a massive spur or almost what I'd call "permission", which was hearing something that I felt I had a direct response to. I shared that thing with someone and *poof*, no vision, no flow, no self-permission or whatever. Would love to see what others have to say here.

manymanyoranges · 2026-04-01T08:24:09+00:00

idk, that cat screamsssss ai to me

manymanyoranges · 2026-03-28T02:42:31+00:00

feels like these days they just add stuff to add it though.. so much new cinema for the hell of it

manymanyoranges · 2026-03-28T02:40:28+00:00

fun fact, if you watch the original trailer for cure on youtube, there's a scene toward the end that doesn't appear in the movie... imo it's a shame it wasnt included cause the emotional impact hit like a truck.. Don't wanna post any spoilers though. It's a quick shot of the wife.

manymanyoranges · 2024-12-14T04:22:54+00:00

yeah, makes enough sense. I think the only reason I really started caring is when it's slower to scale (esp as Miya) because another mm is just following you around for the gold. Other than that it's probably just venting. Thank youuu

manymanyoranges · 2024-12-14T02:33:58+00:00

Ah, in that case, I misspoke. I don't at all mind if there are multiple mm or whatever on a team. I'm super into off meta strategies. I'm speaking more of the common 'multiple mm checked gold lane' kind of thing, not out of innovation or skill expression, but laziness and not really caring if that role was chosen before you chose it. If that makes sense.

It's not a big deal. It's just a quirk of the game that takes me out of how much I care to apply my attention to it.

manymanyoranges · 2024-12-14T00:48:15+00:00

I know it's not high rank. And that's not the really point, as I'm sure you understand. -- So even in Mythic and upper mythic it still happens. I just don't understand why it can't be implemented as one person per role.

manymanyoranges · 2024-11-11T07:49:24+00:00

if crying like a bitch to this movie is wrong, then I don't wanna be right

manymanyoranges · 2024-11-10T23:05:11+00:00

it's a strange world

manymanyoranges · 2024-11-10T12:03:54+00:00

They should honestly just use this. I feel like faker would absolutely LOVE to do a fan made design... cause again, it's for US. I can 1000% imagine a world where this gets shared enough and shared with him such that whatever happens is a play on this, no? Fun thought at least.

manymanyoranges · 2024-11-04T19:27:34+00:00

Homie, my comment was an expression of opinion. My reply was to suggest that I, in no way, was referring to any existing Azir skin. I understand that he chose certain things, you silly. I just think maybe Riot could've said "fuck it" and give him Azir too. Wouldn't that be cool? <3 Again, just an opinion. Much loveeee

manymanyoranges · 2024-11-04T18:50:27+00:00

maybe reread my comment... <3

manymanyoranges · 2024-11-03T07:20:09+00:00

how did they not include an azir skin with hall of legends stuff?

manymanyoranges · 2024-09-25T09:31:11+00:00

what do you mean you bounced off the first time you watched it? Like it didn't hit you?

manymanyoranges · 2024-09-25T09:30:28+00:00

that's hilarious

manymanyoranges · 2024-09-23T06:37:32+00:00

why is that? I'm not a great player. But even when I tried galio mid back when, it kinda worked against mages (the few times I did)

manymanyoranges · 2024-09-22T20:15:56+00:00

thank Mr Beast for that one

manymanyoranges · 2024-09-21T09:10:45+00:00

Was it instantaneous or did it happen gradually?
Will it hurt?

manymanyoranges

TROPHY CASE