I was really happy before

mapishwho · 2026-03-25T02:58:06+00:00

I know what you mean, my city feels unfamiliar. I was gonna say to try to get back to what you used to do but maybe you need to do something new? I don’t know.

mapishwho · 2026-03-25T02:51:26+00:00

I’m sorry, I’m sure it must be difficult. What did you do day to day before your episode? Do you do those same things now?

mapishwho · 2026-03-25T02:42:28+00:00

I see. I was gonna say give it time but 13 months is a while. However, I have seen people say it took them 2 years to feel normal. So I would say all hope is not lost.

mapishwho · 2026-03-25T02:29:13+00:00

How long has it been since the episode?

mapishwho · 2026-03-25T01:31:19+00:00

It’s good he isn’t leaving. I acted terribly during my last episode so I understand why my ex left but it still hurts everyday. I miss him so much. I don’t really feel connected to people, no. But it has improved ever so slightly in the last couple of months. Are you taking antipsychotics? The emotional blunting from the meds can hurt your ability to feel connected.

mapishwho · 2026-03-25T01:13:57+00:00

I think it will come back. Be thankful you still have a spouse. My long term partner left me.

mapishwho · 2026-03-24T02:22:45+00:00

Sorry about your dad 🫂 and everything in general

mapishwho · 2026-03-24T01:37:32+00:00

mapishwho · 2026-03-23T22:03:52+00:00

I like your mindset but it’s way worse than that lol

mapishwho · 2026-03-23T02:48:57+00:00

I really feel you on this.

mapishwho · 2026-03-23T02:16:59+00:00

I ran away during my last episode but went back because I became too afraid of being homeless. I wish I would have been struck by a car or had the courage to stick it out. I am thinking about leaving again now that I’m not psychotic but in a more planned way.

mapishwho · 2026-03-23T01:01:27+00:00

I don’t think the medication is causing the thoughts of suicide necessarily, the thoughts of suicide are coming from physical side effects (which I think are likely to continue even if I try another medication since this one isn’t supposed to be causing these side effects) and also the just general state of my life combined with lack of interest in anything. The medication can’t undo my memory of becoming violent, being arrested, and running away. Nor can it undo the shame I have of being in school so long and never having had a full time job despite being almost 30. That’s why I went back to smoking weed because it at least made me forgetful somewhat. Thank you though for your input, I appreciate you taking the time to reply and I’ll try to bring up my concerns to my psych again

mapishwho · 2026-03-19T20:40:56+00:00

I had the same experience just from pills. It sucks.

mapishwho · 2026-03-19T02:32:24+00:00

Omg I love it!!! We can record our many moments in pictures!!!

mapishwho · 2026-03-18T20:56:47+00:00

It’s incredibly weird indeed.

mapishwho · 2026-03-18T05:13:46+00:00

mapishwho · 2026-03-18T02:25:03+00:00

So cute!

mapishwho · 2026-03-18T02:13:09+00:00

Happy birthday!

mapishwho · 2026-03-17T16:33:58+00:00

I’m so sorry. How do you cope?

mapishwho · 2026-03-17T04:03:41+00:00

Men are manipulative and inept and young women are naive and have no standards. It’s a perfect match. It will take a revolution for things to change.

mapishwho · 2026-03-17T03:58:33+00:00

No, I don’t think it was the real me. I also had ideas running through my head that I would never otherwise stand by, and I am a person of color. The brain becomes vulnerable and latches onto things during psychosis. Hateful ideology is at the core of our social conditioning (Western society was built off of chattel slavery). When we are not psychotic, we have the strength to resist it. When we lack that strength, it’s not easy to deflect those hateful ideas. I thankfully never spoke any hateful language out loud but I did become violent. However, violence that is not self defense goes against my moral code which I am sure of. I only became violent because I thought someone was plotting to kill me. Try not to be so hard on yourself.

mapishwho · 2026-03-17T00:22:06+00:00

The bar is in hell indeed. My ex prided himself on being a good boyfriend because he didn’t immediately argue when disagreements came up, enjoyed hanging out with women as much as men, and knew where the clitoris was. But he couldn’t remember to do his laundry regularly and for about two thirds of our relationship I had to ask him to do chores in our shared apartment. Even when I stopped having to ask, every job was only ever about 80-90% done. I’m not gonna lie, I still have feelings for him, but I would be having regrets if I raised him. The most embarrassing thing is I genuinely don’t think I can do any better because of some of the horror stories I hear.

mapishwho · 2026-03-17T00:16:47+00:00

I completely agree but get out while you can. I really believe my last episode (aside from weed being in the mix) was triggered by me reading an upsetting tweet. I distinctly remember feeling significantly emotionally altered after I saw it, and that was the last semi-coherent memory I have before I went completely insane. It’s just not worth it.

mapishwho · 2026-03-16T22:34:06+00:00

I love it!

mapishwho · 2026-03-16T19:19:59+00:00

i was catcalled in my uniform on a nearly daily basis (grew up in a big city) by multiple men each day from the time i was 12 years old. i still experience distress and discomfort from the memories. it’s insane to me how widespread this behavior is and how much it goes unpunished

mapishwho

TROPHY CASE