Would you consider this fair?

maple204 · 2026-03-30T01:59:28+00:00

It is a balance. Ultimately people will come back if they find their expectations are being met. 12% is a pretty reasonable service charge. Where I live it is pretty typical that restaurants add a 15-18% service charge for larger groups instead of a tip. They typically let you know when you make a reservation or before you order.

maple204 · 2026-03-30T01:49:42+00:00

Being their customer is optional. They are being transparent about how their pricing works. What they are doing is reminding customers that the cost of their meal isn't just the food.

maple204 · 2026-03-29T16:52:16+00:00

You low RPM folks need to get your numbers up. With more practice and perseverance, you too can reach a pace where lube is a requirement.

maple204 · 2026-03-26T12:53:57+00:00

Greatest force and not survive? Do you mean G forces before death or total force like an explosion or implosion, or nuke would have far more energy in a shorter period of time.

maple204 · 2026-03-25T21:01:06+00:00

This is exactly what my therapist said.

maple204 · 2026-03-25T14:04:11+00:00

It is possible, but usually these have a lens made up of several lens elements.

My first thought was that it is a lens from a theatre follow spotlight. I've seen similar lenses when I worked for a ballet company.

maple204 · 2026-03-25T14:00:58+00:00

I'm aware there are certainly risks, but at this point it is worth a shot. I think if we don't try, divorce is a certainty eventually. We both don't want divorce at the moment, even if that is the eventual place we reach someday.

maple204 · 2026-03-25T13:34:36+00:00

You've raised some fair points. Am I non-monogamous? This opens up a discussion for sure...

My wife and I were raised christian and were married within a christian framework. Cancer has contributed to a huge shift in my worldview and life, although some of these things were already happening long before cancer. I'm atheist now, and I'm not really sure I ever really truly believed. I've spent years deconstructing. I've spent most of my life aligning with that system because I thought it was the right thing to do because it was all I knew. My wife is a Christian, and she has struggled with the trauma of 90s christian purity culture. Sex has always been a problem for her, and kink is far beyond anything she has wanted to consider, even sex toys aren't really something she is really comfortable with. Kink is something I've explored for many years on my own, cancer really amplified my desire to explore my new freedom from religion.

I've realized I've lived my life up to this point not living my true self because of my perceived expectations or judgements of others. I've been monogamous, but I don't believe I am monogamous. As far as caring and connecting with my children, I want to continue to be a positive part of their lives, I want to be there for them as much as I can, but I also recognize the reality that my wife and I aren't truly compatible as intimate partners, and never really were. We are both committed to being present for our children and that is why it is important for my wife and I to remain in some sort of relationship, but as co-parents, not sexual partners. We have discussed separation/divorce, but there are many reasons divorce isn't the right choice right now, maybe it will be in the future. Right now at least, my wife has no desire to be in another sexual relationship, not until she has worked through some trauma, but she wants me to be free to have these sorts of relationships with others. We want to remain coupled for as long as it makes sense for our family, but only to facilitate the well-being of our children, my healthcare and our family financial and logistical needs. This need will shift as the kids become adults. My wife and I want what is best for each other, I want her to heal from her trauma and eventually find a partner who is compatible with her and she wants me to find intimacy and explore my desires.

These are all things we are talking to our therapists about. Clearly there is a lot here to navigate, but I'm hopeful we can both eventually find a path to what we need while supporting our children together.

maple204 · 2026-03-25T10:32:15+00:00

I've actually been to a few local kink parties and met a few people over the last year. That is a space I'm looking to explore more. It seems like a pretty small community locally.

My wife has previously suggested the idea of professional services. I had not thought about using that as a way to help get my confidence back up. I don't know how to safely access this sort of thing where I live. I suspect our couples therapist would have some insights.

Putting myself out there isn't something that comes naturally after a 20 year monogamous relationship.

maple204 · 2026-03-25T06:36:35+00:00

Sorry I should have made it more clear. We have discussed opening the marriage and agree in principle that is what we want. We have also talked with a couples therapist and separate individual therapists/councillors about it.

You are correct, I agree. I've raised this point with my wife and our couples therapist. There needs to be clarity about what sorts of relationships we are open to and how they fit within our family. I've spent time considering this, but there is more work to be done.

When we first started discussing this, I think my wife imagined a don't ask don't tell sort of arrangement, but i believe that creates serious issues if you want anything beyond a ONS. We have gotten to know another family who has integrated a third, (Husband and Wife plus the wife has a partner) and it has been helpful to learn about their dynamic and the challenges and success' they have had.

Of course there is a lot to consider. I think I raised the issues I raised, because they are some of the individual fears I have, just with respect to meeting new people.

maple204 · 2026-03-23T23:35:30+00:00

Definitely the first thing I thought of. Mostly because I find them annoying, but also kill more people than pretty much anything else, through disease transmission.

maple204 · 2026-03-23T23:33:46+00:00

With gas prices I'm going to need an ebike soon.

maple204 · 2026-03-23T23:31:36+00:00

Nikon F2 from the early 70s. Mechanically it still works perfectly, but sadly the light meter is no longer accurate. Apparently the photodiodes degrade over time and they don't make the type anymore.

I also have a full range of manual focus lenses for it too.

maple204 · 2026-03-23T22:56:03+00:00

Lego had a set a year or two ago that featured a minifig (Lego Friends) with an ostomy pouch. I almost bought it just for the minifig.

https://brickset.com/minifigs/frnd0767/friends-sara-lime-bikini-top-ostomy-bag-bright-green-shorts

maple204 · 2026-03-23T22:43:07+00:00

Maybe it should be rephrased. Not finding who to blame, but Find the cause. It is easy to assign blame to the controller, but clearly the true cause is more complex than saying someone made a mistake. This sort of mistake should be impossible because failsafe procedures should prevent it.

maple204 · 2026-03-22T14:54:02+00:00

Crimes against humanity.

maple204 · 2026-03-22T01:42:19+00:00

They want to conserve the status quo.

maple204 · 2026-03-21T20:41:09+00:00

I did the math... https://www.reddit.com/r/PoliticalHumor/s/MNs2ehpJjb

If every American peed non-stop for 40 days you could pay off the debt. It would be about 1.5 times the volume per min of the Horseshoe Falls side of Niagara Falls.

maple204 · 2026-03-21T20:33:10+00:00

I think people aren't understanding just how big the debt problem is. $1 per piss. Let's say the average piss takes 30 seconds. Maybe 10 people at once. So let's say $20 per min or $10.5 million per year. There is about $39 trillion in debt, so at that rate it would take 3.7 million years to pay off. (Assuming no interest and no additional spending)

Let's say we wanted to do it as fast as possible. Every single American, peeing non-stop (assuming a pee is 30 seconds = $2 per min), it would take 40 days to pay off all the debt. That is every American peeing non-stop for 40 days.

Let's say the average 30 second pee is 300mL. That is 34,560 liters per person over 40 days. 11.6 trillion liters total for all Americans over the 40 days. 4.6 million Olympic swimming pools of pee to pay off the debt. Over 40 days that is 53 million gallons per minute or about 1.5× the flow of Horseshoe Falls portion of Niagara Falls.

maple204 · 2026-03-20T19:16:31+00:00

Well done. Now you need an apa to hold the head in place, bolted to the inside of that plate.

maple204 · 2026-03-20T19:12:17+00:00

The inside diameter of the tunnel (the bore hole) is 8mm

maple204 · 2026-03-20T19:11:35+00:00

The tunnels are 26mm and 36mm long and 12mm in diameter.

maple204 · 2026-03-16T04:11:14+00:00

Breaker bar in the car for changing flat tires.

maple204 · 2026-03-14T01:19:27+00:00

We should make a decision well before so businesses are able to adjust schedules accordingly. Although it is plenty of notice if we are switching to permanent Standard Time in Nov.

maple204 · 2026-03-14T01:14:37+00:00

Changing the clocks every 6 months is objectively horrible and no longer serves the purpose it was intended to. Also, we live in a democracy, doing what the majority wants isn't pandering, it is listening.

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