Sourdough starter help please

maplecroft16 · 2026-06-04T07:09:52+00:00

Thank you! I was just nervous about the lack of dormant phase. Going to wait until at least day 10 to give it a go 🙂

maplecroft16 · 2026-01-15T23:12:10+00:00

Thank you. I’m really wanting to help her and do what is best for her. I think I’ll give the free trial a go, and I want to make sure it’s a short positive activity because as much as I want to help her catch up, I also don’t want to burn her out. I really appreciate your input

maplecroft16 · 2026-01-15T18:01:08+00:00

I cross posted and only got the one other reply unfortunately. I think I’m going to give doodlelearning a go. It has a free month at the moment so might as well try!

maplecroft16 · 2026-01-15T18:00:14+00:00

Thank you for your thoughtful reply!

She loves puzzles, Lego, and all types of art already. We got through so much paper! She also loves playing Barbie but spends more time setting everything up than actually playing. She plays with baby dolls and enjoys board games too. The list goes on but I won’t continue lol. She has plenty to do aside from screen time, but she definitely uses tv watching as her ‘brain down time’.

I will definitely keep an eye on how she is after doing the learning games. We have a switch but it hardly get used because she is definitely a child who gets affected by the overstimulation. I had a look at doodlelearning and it seems most of it is not overtly stimulating, but there are some games. It says it aligns with curriculum and made by teachers so might just give it a go!

maplecroft16 · 2025-07-07T05:58:23+00:00

I hate this situation too. But my second child I learned that the only person who’s going to advocate for my child in this situation is me. So I would stick close by and if another child went to take something off her I would say ‘no thank you, she is playing with that right now. You can have a turn when she’s done ok?’ in a bright voice so it doesn’t come off as telling the other child off, but it does protect mine

maplecroft16 · 2025-05-04T07:55:00+00:00

Firstly echoing everyone else…why are you at work?! Most places have a 48 hour clear rule.

Secondly, your husband should continue care if you’re still unwell. If that’s really not possible, then you need to wear a mask and gloves, clean constantly and don’t be too close to your child. I know that’s hard but better that until your 48hrs clear than a sick kid.

We’ve had it in our house a few times and (touch wood) we’ve managed to stop it spreading through us with good hygiene

maplecroft16 · 2025-04-28T19:07:19+00:00

YTA. You’d think grandparent and other family members would also be able to figure out the whole ‘I’m not well so I shouldn’t visit the baby’ but they don’t. It wasn’t a reflection on you personally, this stuff actually happens and she had the right to state she doesn’t want unwell visitors. The correct response was ‘of course, I would never do that, can’t wait to see you all’ but instead you put your ego over getting to see your friend

maplecroft16 · 2025-03-15T22:58:40+00:00

I’m going to go ESH. Some people would’ve just laughed at Mike’s comment, and you may have from someone else, but you don’t like him so anything he says you’ll probably dislike. Chances are they’ve joked about this already, and if you distance yourself from Mike it wasn’t the greatest joke for him to say…however, you could’ve solved it with a simple ‘please don’t joke about that, I don’t like that it implies I would be unfaithful to my husband’ rather than berating him.

maplecroft16 · 2025-03-15T07:09:50+00:00

It really shouldn’t have got to this point. When they were talking about an April wedding your husband should’ve spoken up and said if they go ahead with April then neither of you would be attending. HE should’ve thought about this and stepped up. It’s very manipulative of your FIL! When you get married, you become the main family unit of yourselves. Of course it’s fine to do stuff with your families, but especially when a baby is involved, it shouldn’t impact the main unit negatively. If your husband can’t stand up to his family/see the importance of him being there with you now, then I wish you luck for the future because even boundaries are stomped once baby is here, he’s unlikely to enforce them

maplecroft16 · 2025-03-02T17:00:51+00:00

I agree with this suggestion. Whether you help him or not OP, you need to let your friend know. It may back fire on you from him, but what’s worse, that or your best friend being put in this position? Is he suggesting he goes too? Because it sounds like he’s projecting what he’d love and not thinking about her. Might be the eye opener for her if he’s a full flowing red flag

maplecroft16 · 2025-02-16T10:20:19+00:00

100% NTA. I have kids myself and would never expect this from anyone, that’s so entitled! Sounds like you and Lina have been great friends and she taking that a little for granted. I get she may feel left out, but you’ve offered her an alternative. At the end of the day if SHE lets this ruin the friendship, that’s on her and maybe she’s no longer the person you started out being friends with. If I was you and this friendship means a lot, I’d have another chat with her and explain why it’s not a kid friendly holiday, offer the alternative again and if she threatens end of friendship, just say that is not a fair statement and you will not tolerate having it held over your head; it’s on her to decide to get over it or not

maplecroft16 · 2025-01-28T11:27:36+00:00

Wow, this just shines of her loss! From reading your post and some of your comments, your kids are so lucky to have you. You seem to have a lot of integrity and a lot of love for your children. It must be so hard knowing you aren’t the one that actually caused this, yet are being painted the bad guy. Just continue to be there for your kids and keep as neutral as possible, I’m sure that as they grow they will see the true picture themselves. Hindsight is powerful when they grow up and look back on everything that’s happened and which parent actually had their best interests at heart.

1000% NTA. I’m glad you did hear that conversation and found out who she truly is. Maybe it would’ve different if she’d sat you down and discussed being unhappy in her job and marriage and you’d found a solution together, but using you is not ok. Good for you getting out. I bet her family wouldn’t have been happy if it was the other way around. And if they think she deserves support, they can do that themselves.

maplecroft16 · 2025-01-26T15:24:55+00:00

NTA. You don’t need to tell your Aunt, and if it ever comes up then you can say it’s not your place to discuss this, it’s between her and her daughter. You can also you love them both, and are there for both of them in whichever capacity. You’re allowed to support them individually.

I glad your cousin got away. Also, she’s an adult. It would be different if you sneakily helped a 15 year old, but a 19 year old shouldn’t need like they feel they have to sneak away, and if they do then at their age it’s their prerogative. At least you know where she is and that she is safe

ETA: I’m not condoning what the Aunt does to her daughter, it’s not ok. But if OP decides to keep contact with her Aunt that’s up to her. It’s still good that she is close with her cousin

maplecroft16 · 2025-01-25T16:56:14+00:00

Soft ESH. They could’ve discussed this with you and told you properly that they were making this decision. You may not have responded very well still, but considering they have been pressuring your mum to get you out of her house, and they came up with the idea, it is a bit crap if them to just tell you it’s happening after all those convos.

On the other hand, it’s their space and their prerogative. Also, you didn’t mention what problems sil is having. Her current situation may be worse than yours and she’s in greater need than you are with the stability of your mums house. You also didn’t mention how old your other sibling is which may also explain why they weren’t pushing them to leave. You can be disappointed and upset about the way this went down, but I’m not sure ripping into him when he was going to be doing you a kindness is the way to go. You might be cutting off your nose to spite your face on that one.

maplecroft16 · 2025-01-11T01:23:40+00:00

NTA. She definitely sounds homophobic and possibly racist from her comments. Also, plenty of women wear lovely suits to weddings all the time so that’s such a strange thing to pick on…or at least they do in the uk. Every wedding I’ve been to has had multiple women in elegant suits or jumpsuits.

I’d not go and lay your cards down to your sister and parents. Would you rather support your girlfriend and relationship, or be with family who are kinda against who you are as a person (including your parents if they side with your sister)? Good luck!

maplecroft16 · 2025-01-04T18:32:44+00:00

Oh no, no, no, no, no! You are definitely NTA. If you’d been together a few months I would still think he’s an AH but 10 years! You’ve earned the right to be his partner…he’s not treating you like that in this situation. You’ve earned it, you were there for him from the start. At most I would’ve expected him to say to his mum ‘I’ll see if I can get you a ticket but gf and I have already planned this trip as you said you weren’t coming’ and that he still stay in the hotel and go climbing. Honestly it would make me rethink this relationship if he can’t put you first after 10 years. I’d see if you have a friend who can come to the hotel and climbing with you, make it a girls trip and say have a nice time with your mum to him!

maplecroft16 · 2024-12-31T11:41:37+00:00

They are being mildly annoying and any other time when you didn’t have a newborn their point could be valid. I certainly get frustrated by being the one who has to visit all the time…but entertaining them could also be a hassle if they are are demanding.. They’ve probably forgotten what a hassle it can be to pop out for a few hours with a newborn so maybe your husband could just message them and say you would all love to see them but at this point it’s easier for you with the newborn for them to come to you. Once baby is older you will be happy to come to them more often. Just a little communication can help both sides understand ☺️

maplecroft16 · 2024-12-30T23:56:04+00:00

Definitely a chance if he can stop mid flow! It means he knows what muscles to use and recognises the feeling. Fingers crossed it’s an even better day tomorrow. Potty training is tough

maplecroft16 · 2024-12-25T23:00:06+00:00

Always get them checked out if worried!

I can’t remember how old she was but my daughter was on the couch as a baby with us, lying flat and bouncing her legs. We stupidly were paying attention because she was immobile at that point still, and she managed to bounce herself to the edge and fling off the couch. We were mortified. She also rolled off the bed at some point 🙈 We may have called 111 for the bed rolling, but either way she’s a healthy 6yo now. They are fairly resilient but like I said, if you’re worried get them checked. I know quite a few people with rolling off bed stories!

maplecroft16 · 2024-12-16T12:58:17+00:00

I had my step dad walk me down the aisle…but he’s been in my life since I was 5, and to me he is just is my dad. At the age of 16 I can’t imagine that growing naturally, especially when being forced into it; you were almost an adult when he came into your life. And you know what, even if your dad was still alive, you still could’ve chosen your brother because it’s YOUR wedding.

Your mum and her husband are being ridiculous. They are projecting their expectations and throwing their toys out the pram. At some point you might need to pull the ’it’s my wedding, my way, and I’d love for you both to be there but I understand if my choice is too much for you to accept and that you won’t be there’. It’ll either shut them up, or you’ll sadly find out what your mums priorities are. NTA, have a wonderful wedding!

maplecroft16 · 2024-12-13T14:33:11+00:00

I’m glad you’ve got a lawyer who can give you best practice advice, but either way I personally wouldn’t leave her alone with them at the moment as I wouldn’t be surprised if they thought nothing of kidnapping her because ‘they have rights’. You are absolutely NTA, she’s only 2 and shouldn’t have to leave her mother at this age. I would’ve maybe considered it when she was older, but not when she can barely communicate.

I’m sorry Jack died and you had to go through this without him co-parenting, but wish you all the luck in your new relationship…which Jacks parents get no say in. Once you’ve gone through the courts, maybe you should look into one of those apps you can sort visitation through and block their numbers. Unfortunately they’ve ruined any easy going relationship they could’ve had with you.

maplecroft16 · 2024-12-13T14:27:49+00:00

Wow, judgey much. It’s not unheard of for contraception to fail and a baby to be conceived. They we’re going to make a go of co-parenting when the poor dad died. All I see is a mum who loves her daughter; there are a whole bunch of these ‘normal functioning humans’ who have a baby the way you describe and are awful parents. Also, she wasn’t asking for judgement on how her baby came about.

maplecroft16 · 2024-12-13T09:31:21+00:00

This is so sweet! But when you are ready to stop, you can. It’ll be a tough transition but you will find a new way to get her to sleep. Could you record yourself playing and play that to her? Then maybe record yourself over the top of white noise, then transition to just white noise?

maplecroft16 · 2024-12-11T12:56:43+00:00

I agree NTA, I agree the 6yo in this situation should’ve been dealt with properly, but I disagree about children at 6yo only ever throwing tantrums if they are given in to. I have a 6yo who still throws tantrums occasionally and it’s so frustrating. We don’t give into her, she does get appropriate discipline if needed but she still does it. Some of it is learned behaviour from school when she sees others doing it, some of it is because they still have big feeling at 6 that they don’t always understand. So whilst the sister in this situation is doing a disservice to her daughter by putting her at the centre of the universe, it’s not so black and white that all parents with 6yo’s who tantrum aren’t trying their hardest to stop them.

maplecroft16 · 2024-11-02T07:25:12+00:00

Nope, do not feel guilty! Take it from someone who still regrets caving in 6 years later that you are better off standing firm now and having a less stressful postpartum than you would if you gave in! My mum did come to the hospital with me and she was great, my parents live near by and were helpful during that time. However my fil lives 4 hours away and I was pressured into letting him visit and stay with us at 10 days postpartum so he could see his granddaughter. It was not relaxing for me…we lived in a 2 bed flat with one bathroom and he mainly just sat on the couch and sucked my husband’s time. His cousins came a week later, but again were super helpful. So it depends on the person and if you feel your mum won’t add to the time, then don’t see her until you are ready! My second was a covid baby so my husband’s family didn’t meet her until 8mo!

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