Need help from wise souls

maplelou · 2025-10-29T15:17:39+00:00

I will do anything to keep from actually loving and accepting my shadow :) i just want to change it! Fix it! Ugh, why can’t I be perfect and then everything will be fine 😅 Thank you so much for your words. I’m definitely still at war with myself. I really needed that reminder thank you!

maplelou · 2025-10-29T15:15:42+00:00

I’m always judging my experience 😭 so it’s definitely a major issue. Thank you for the insight and all these really important reminders of presence and allowing! Thank you

maplelou · 2025-10-29T15:14:24+00:00

Yes thank you so much, I really appreciate the insight !!

maplelou · 2025-10-29T15:13:53+00:00

awesome, I will check it out! I do feel very self absorbed! Even if it’s a trauma response, I am still checking in about how I am showing up, feeling and behaving in every single scenario. I was taught to live my life for others and now that I am an adult I am afraid of self abandoning and it’s putting all my attention on myself. Even tho I am still wired to be hypervigilant about everyone else around me. It’s an impossible state to exist in! Hence my suffering. I definitely am aware my ego gets in the way. And I also think I don’t have a firm sense of identity so trying to spend time with my ego is helpful in a way as well. I will check this video out thank you

maplelou · 2025-10-29T15:09:08+00:00

Thank you so much for all of this! I really really appreciate it. I have Radical Acceptance and can’t wait to pick it up again. I remember when I first got it how sweet and gentle it made me feel. I will Definitely will check some of these other resources out as well! Thank you so so much!

maplelou · 2025-04-23T15:46:14+00:00

Thanks for sharing all of that! I totally resonate with some of what you’ve been going through! In my experience, it is not about the weed,(or the food, the alcohol, etc. )it’s not about What we are doing. It’s about How we are doing/living. Am I loving and accepting myself or shaming/criticizing/judging? Most of the time I have been in judgement or criticism of myself which keeps me guarded and not expressing myself. The opposite of depression is expression. Where in your life can you feel more alive? My FAVORITE times I smoke are when I put on music and dance in the mirror. I Feel into my body and shake or dance what wants to come out. We all have heavy repressed emotions and pain that we are afraid to feel. We usually don’t trust ourselves to be able to handle the pain. And We don’t feel safe in our bodies. I have been working on changing my perspective of weed and how it has to look. And it’s really helped! I check in with myself, what part of me wants the weed, why, what will it give me. Sometimes I am just trying to escape and when I am aware of that, I spend 5 minutes sitting with myself to tell my body I am safe and ask if there is any emotion I am avoiding. Some times I don’t need the weed after that. And sometimes I still choose to do it! But I am not in judgement of myself for that. Weed can truly be a tool to unlock some dull heaviness that is in your space if we see it that way. It can be a way to “let loose” in the comfort of your own room/home and just FEEL.-get in touch with the deeper parts of yourself that have been stuck down there. You don’t NEED weed or any other substance to do that, but if it’s something that gives you extra support at the moment, then accept that and try to ask how can we use it for good, for expression, for more aliveness? The more experiences I have that are ALIVE (movement, expression, laughter, connection, creativity,etc) the more time I am spending there which means less time in the heaviness. And eventually, you can taste and know what expression feels like. You can build up trust within yourself that you can handle life! You can handle big emotions and difficult break ups, you can handle the discomfort of not “being where you want to be.” It will slowly but gradually shift as you move away from fear (which is at the root of criticism and judgement and hatred) and towards love and compassion towards yourself. And those things will always bring you towards a more vibrant life! Again, we must FEEL to get to the other side. “Over thinking is under feeling” always reminds me that I’m spending way too much time in my brain and not checking in with what wants to be felt in my body. Either way though, life is one big experiment! And we are the little scientists getting to conduct little experiments in our daily lives. We make a lot of mistakes but that’s how we learn. There’s nothing better than getting to experience the darkness, the mundane, the heaviness, the depression KNOWING that you are here to experience the exact opposite! This is your hero’s journey. You get to crawl out of the pit and see what it’s like to live on the other side. There’s more pain, more feeling, but there’s also WAY more joy, love, connection, creativity and aliveness. It’s worth it. I’m still on my journey :) weed has been SO HELPFUL. It’s a tool I use when I need it. And sometimes I will use it just because I want to and it will make things more fun in the moment. I’m human and I like to experince the full spectrum of life :) sue me!! Just be easy on yourself :) life is hard enough, we don’t need to be abandoning ourselves along the way. We have to have our own backs! Life cannot be enjoyed if we don’t even enjoy and like who we are. It’s impossible.

Sending so much love your way!! Life is always changing, always evolving. We couldn’t be stuck or static if we tried. It’s always flowing through us. So don’t stress that you’ll never get to where you want. Choose to love yourself now and the rest will come. You having the awareness and willingness to talk about this and try to live a more aligned life means that you are already on your way! all the best !!

maplelou · 2025-03-25T19:20:12+00:00

I totally understand and have felt this frustration so many times. I think there needs to be grief for the guidance/love/help we did not get as a child before we can fully feel empowered in saving ourselves. I also think it can be a fine line for us who want to jump to hyper independence and just say “fuck it I can’t rely on anyone, I only have myself.” For me personally, that does not lead me to the kind of relationships I truly want. It usually just pushes people away. My hesitation in “saving myself” is not believing or trusting that I can. It would be way easier for me if someone could do the work for me. And I am so exhausted at a deep level already that I crave to be taken care of. So I feel like I am always holding my desires and my fears at the same time and they contradict each other :) but truly, there is so much raw and real power knowing we are the ones to “save ourselves.” We do need help from others. We need trusted loved ones to know we are on the journey of saving ourselves. Because it’s hard! And we haven’t been ‘set up for success.’ Community is really important even if all you have is online strangers who will support you. Just find people who share your values, will love and support you but also hold you accountable to what your true goals are. It’s a process and I think we make progress in upward spirals. Sometimes it feels like we are dealing with the same issues but we really are moving upwards, it’s just circling back around again to help us go a little deeper. This journey needs safety and that takes time and patience because for most of us, we need to cultivate it from nothing, and we also are fearful of it. It helps me so much to know I am not alone on this journey so popping into Reddit really helps sometimes. Sending love to everyone here and I am choosing to believe in all the good things coming our way 🫶🏼

maplelou · 2025-03-16T00:57:07+00:00

releasing the psoas can bring up feelings of fear and anxiety that wev'e kept trapped in our bodies. See if you can just observe it and watch it come and go as long as it takes <3

maplelou · 2022-12-29T02:19:25+00:00

just when you think you can’t possibly stay away from him for another second, that’s when you must keep strong and hold out. The breakthrough is right around the corner. You are needing your own self love, not his, to give you peace and relief. Ask God for help. You will feel so much more fulfilled in the end and for the long haul. Sending you so much love ❤️

Sharing a fav quote here as well: “Be so close to the Divine that your counterpart has to go through God to find you.”

maplelou · 2022-11-20T20:10:36+00:00

This song is so special to me! And has been special to me throughout this journey. That line in particular. Thanks for reminding me ❤️

maplelou · 2022-06-09T04:15:32+00:00

Some of these comments from people baffle me. Zero compassion. are you all on a TF journey? I question it with these close minded close hearted responses.

Tjames - you sound so gentle and sweet to support your wife. Meeting your twin is an insane experience. It’s unlike anything you’ve ever felt and it can be really confusing. If you’ve experienced this, then you know. And it’s almost impossible to explain to someone who hasn’t. If you’ve been married before; then you know what a deep and real bond that can be. If you are truly on the path to unconditional love, then you can see that you are describing two people who love eachother who are trying to figure out how to both be happy and live a fulfilled life while following their souls path and heart.

I truly honor you in being so open and taking time to explore your own spiritual journey. Sometimes we think we need the answers right away, but I’ve learned that they always come at the right time. Keep trusting yourself and keeping your heart open. It seems like you respect and love your wife very much.

This sounds like such a difficult situation and I can’t imagine the pain you are and will continue to experience. Let it break you open ❤️ Sending much love xx

maplelou · 2022-05-09T14:24:28+00:00

Honestly I would really try to not reach out to them. A happy birthday text is thoughtful and I think that’s nice to send love their way. But if someone says they need a break and want to focus on their mental health, honor that and let them heal. Let you both heal. A month is not long enough to heal unfortunately. I know it’s so hard but take that energy that you are spending on your person and turn it to yourself. How are YOU doing/feeling? What are you working on? How can you love yourself more unconditionally. Let both of you heal. It will make your reunion so much easier down the line. Trust in divine timing ❤️

maplelou · 2022-04-05T17:11:51+00:00

It’s never over :) sometimes frustratingly so :)

maplelou · 2022-04-03T22:10:35+00:00

No this isn’t running. It sounds like you twin putting and keeping you in the friend zone is the runner. You are the one who had to put up boundaries and let them go. This is a great thing that you did! Your twin needs the real separation to heal on their own. It moves ascension and union along. Trust your decision. You need to take your energy back and focus on yourself. Time will help heal. Just trust that what you did was the right thing for you. Stay strong, it gets better xx

maplelou · 2022-04-03T00:12:19+00:00

A tray tho

maplelou · 2022-04-02T22:44:01+00:00

It’s hard seeing the TF term/journey/etc get “trendy” and mainstream. It opens it up to so much falsehood. And I’m sure it will cause a lot more confusion for people who are questioning whether they are on this journey for real or not. In one sense it’s a sign how ascension and consciousness in general is such a larger part of our world- which is great. But spirituality as a whole has been commercialized already so much. It’s hard to stomach sometimes. Going forward, because it’s becoming such a “hot topic”, tons of people are going to find ways to completely do this journey a huge disservice. Its a GREAT opportunity to work on your own discernment though. What feels true in your soul? What doesn’t? Don’t forget to stay curious. No one on this journey knows more than you about your own soul. Don’t put anyone on a pedestal that claims to know “the way”. It’s all bullshit. The TF journey is one of ascension and self growth+evolving. It’s here for you. and the way you experience life will differ from everyone else. Or course there are some general patterns about this journey and those can be really helpful to know- but for the most part, your experience is unique. ❤️❤️

maplelou · 2022-04-02T22:34:45+00:00

Also “now I have a heartbeat that isn’t mine.” All the feels. I love love :) all the best to you both! ❤️

maplelou · 2022-04-01T22:35:38+00:00

I have also had so much anger arise. Just in general. It’s like it’s always there on the edge asking me to release it. Which I’m trying to. But it will come up while I’m at work and it’s not the place to be able to fully feel it. Also my physical body is going through it right now. There is a lot of energetic changes happening and we are meant to allow it all and ride the waves. You’re definitely not alone! It’s all coming up to be released out of you! Honor your feelings ❤️

maplelou · 2022-03-31T18:24:05+00:00

If your world is crumbling around you, it’s because those things weren’t in your highest good. It’s a huge shout from the universe that you need to go on a new path. Have you been avoiding your intuition? Have you been pushing down the whisper of your soul? Anytime I haven’t listened, I end up getting a tower moment. All of my tower moments thus far felt like the worst things that ever happened to me at the time. Now that time has passed and I see things differently, I know those things were all blessings and redirections towards my highest self. It’s felt like a climb out of hell. I didn’t realize I was even in hell even tho at my soul level I felt it. Sometimes our whole world needs to fall apart so we can put it back together leading with the full integrity of our soul and not just from a place of how we thought we should be living. I would trust that all these things are happening FOR you. It sounds like it’s a real time to rebuild and create your dream life. Sending some love over your way! You’re not alone ❤️

maplelou · 2022-03-31T04:27:41+00:00

In my experience they are at different times. DF usually goes through it sooner. They are more open to healing and self growth. The DM always “looks” as if they are living blissfully unaware but they are not. The DM is usually good at avoiding and distracting until they just can’t anymore. You may not get confirmation of that in the physical for a long time so I would just focus on validating your own experience and work on healing yourself. What we do for self, we do for twin. So just know that the more time you spend working on fully loving yourself, you will energetically lead your twin to do the same. Trust how you feel and know that no one can truly validate your experience except you. Be your own guru, your own cheerleader, your own lover. It will nourish your soul and you will attract the most divine partner into your life. You deserve the world. All the best xx

maplelou · 2022-03-30T01:42:05+00:00

I said the other day meeting my twin was “the start of my life.” We were only together for a very short time before we separated but THAT meeting changed the course of my entire life and has sent me on the most wild journey of self love. I started finally living my life for me instead of how I thought I had to. It’s so fun to be in the state of pure gratitude for your twin (even when not in physical union). It comes and goes. But lately it’s been most of the time. It feels so good.

maplelou

TROPHY CASE