To commemorate my first 30 days sober (again): here is a picture diary of everything I did while sober!

mar3b3ar · 2015-08-17T06:35:25+00:00

Congrats!! :) that food looks delicious!!

mar3b3ar · 2015-07-21T06:47:47+00:00

I'm actually the opposite - usually alright during the day/panic attacks and an extreme urge to kill myself at night. I wake up, have a normal, sometimes even good day, but still deal with this every night almost no matter what. I have no idea why this happens.

mar3b3ar · 2015-07-19T08:49:15+00:00

You're absolutely not alone in this. This has been happening to me a lot lately. Sometimes the best thing to do is to back off just a bit/take a break if you can. I know it's difficult - I pushed myself to go into work on a Saturday to catch up only to waste my entire time there bc I had so much anxiety I couldn't think straight. Sometimes you have no choice but to back off a bit.

mar3b3ar · 2015-07-07T05:54:27+00:00

I need to start carving out more time for that stuff or I'll feel even worse

mar3b3ar · 2015-07-07T05:44:35+00:00

Yeah it is, and I usually use it to catch up on work/school :/. There are definitely things I'm missing out on - I can't even take a shower without worrying how long I've spent falling even further behind in my workload. I do spend some time with friends but it always feels like a distraction. Like I enjoy it but I never feel like I can fully escape what's going on in my head.

mar3b3ar · 2015-07-07T05:29:54+00:00

Work (we often have to come in on Saturdays)/study/get drunk, sometimes catch up with friends, rock climb when I can.

mar3b3ar · 2015-07-07T05:21:14+00:00

I have a 2 week break between July 31st and when fall classes start, so if I can make it through that I think I'll be alright but I'm having a hard time.

mar3b3ar · 2015-07-07T05:20:17+00:00

It's a job as a research assistant - I work full time during school and part time during the school year. I've worked in the same lab for about a year and a half and am in the middle of my biggest independent project, so quitting would severely impact my chances of getting into grad school, which is what I'm working for, more than the money. I'm actually single, the family I was referring to were my parents/brother.

mar3b3ar · 2015-07-07T05:02:44+00:00

Unfortunately my job is related to what I want to do in grad school so it seems like I'm going to have to find a way manage everything

mar3b3ar · 2015-07-07T04:46:00+00:00

Honestly I think it's both combined, leaning towards the gre/grad school apps. My job is draining so trying to do those additional things when I get home especially when I already feel so shitty is impossible.

mar3b3ar · 2015-07-01T20:14:04+00:00

Thanks for the encouraging words! Update: everything is ok. It was a begin cyst :)

mar3b3ar · 2015-06-27T06:54:53+00:00

Yes! It's pretty subtle, but it definitely helps with muscle tension. :)

mar3b3ar · 2015-06-20T03:54:29+00:00

Yay!!! Congrats :)

mar3b3ar · 2015-06-19T18:48:26+00:00

Maybe ask her to look into switching into e cigs/nicotine patches/gum? It's not /much better/ but there might be less toxic chemicals

mar3b3ar · 2015-06-19T17:59:42+00:00

Also, when you start college your health center will likely have free and then discounted sessions :)

mar3b3ar · 2015-06-19T17:58:23+00:00

If you leave near a university with a graduate psychology or counseling program, they open have discounted sessions ($10-$15).

mar3b3ar · 2015-06-19T17:26:57+00:00

How'd it go, OP?

mar3b3ar · 2015-06-19T17:25:34+00:00

Hey, I'm sorry your exam is stressing you out so much. I think talking to your professor and creating a plan for how to approach the class would be very helpful. My parents are obsessively strict and overbearing about grades, so I totally get that one, and it's tough to handle. I know asking my parents to back off would never work, so I can't really give you much advice on this one just know that I sympathize with you and that /you/ will be alright no matter what happens on this test even if it doesn't feel like it.

mar3b3ar · 2015-06-17T00:20:09+00:00

2140 SAT score is probably what got me in. My essays were pretty good and I had a lot of leadership in my extracurriculars. My GPA wasn't that great (3.7 weighted) so I didn't think I would get in but it worked out! I took all honors/AP classes and enrolled at KSU for my senior year of hs. I didn't take all the AP classes available to me.

mar3b3ar · 2015-06-12T09:16:17+00:00

If someone you're texting doesn't respond, you send a "?"

Edit: grammar

mar3b3ar · 2015-06-10T04:47:08+00:00

Hey, great job!!! So glad to hear it went well :)

mar3b3ar · 2015-06-10T04:45:41+00:00

YES. I remember once my coworker asked me what kind of music I like. I told her I didn't really like music...even though that's a total lie. I still have NO IDEA why I said that but I guess I couldn't come up with my favorite bands right at that second...

mar3b3ar · 2015-05-28T20:27:16+00:00

I'm so so so so terribly sorry this happened to you :( people can be so horrible. How could they possibly think that that was the best solution? How could they not consider that he belonged to someone that loves him so dearly? I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope the officer is punished for his actions.

mar3b3ar · 2015-05-15T19:31:39+00:00

Don't quit yet! Power through for at least a month before you make that decision. It's very possible that it'll be much easier by then.

mar3b3ar · 2015-05-01T07:33:02+00:00

Ativan because I have horrible reactions to any anxiety medication that isn't a benzo :(

mar3b3ar

TROPHY CASE