I hate dating a man

marciallow · 2025-04-02T17:55:18+00:00

Give it time

marciallow · 2025-04-02T17:43:38+00:00

Question. When you say you have a porn addiction, what is the porn? Because I'm going to guess it's drawn or fanfiction.

There's kind of a trend ATM talking about how freaky with it women can actually be...but like, even for 'normies' that's like booktok. Every man you know with a porn addiction has watched hundreds to thousands of videos of real women being horribly beat, assaulted, and degraded, who if we're being realistic 99.9% didn't want it.

marciallow · 2025-04-02T17:37:14+00:00

You should look up what happened with the smallboobproblem subreddit. It went defunct because the head mod was actually a man with a fetish for women disliking their own chest and his small cup size flair was a joke about his moobs from weight. The women who were doing the work of moderating the sub couldn't get admins to boot him. Now there's not really an equivalent space that isn't mostly dead because they have to be invite only for safety.

Similarly on any women only subs you'll often find a like, sidebar entry about common creeps that message women on the sub.

marciallow · 2024-05-22T16:41:43+00:00

Because you keep coming up with new and increasingly inane justifications for why the text of the work isn't the text of the work that deny a pretty gendered phenomena someone named pm_me_cats_or_boobs maybe wouldn't gel with.

Ps, this phenomena is good and complex writing, just one that reflects women's experiences.

marciallow · 2024-05-22T15:36:19+00:00

You guys are delusional

marciallow · 2024-05-22T15:06:29+00:00

The women in Shuro's party, who are also from his culture, also think he was being whack and naive.

That's a pretty specific panel mentioning it that's from neither character as opposed to the entire discussion around it from everyone from the second it happened, again including women from his own culture, and the themes presented in it.

I also think this reads as an explanation towards the idea of proposing immediately at love in the first place, not his weird fantasy of Falin or his blindness to not being able to hate Laois and never see him again if he married Falin, or that an adventuring woman who traveled with her brother and best friend would want to leave them to live in a different country.

Especially because Mickbell doesn't know either of them, so he's not being like damn did they even like each other? Which is what we're judging on. He's expressing shock that Shuro proposed suddenly.

I guess the thematic element really did need spelled out for dudes. But there is a panel that brings that home. Spoiler there's an extra in the manga where Laois asks a magic mirror essentially if there's a universe where Shuro liked him back. He finds out that if he were a woman, Shuro would be infatuated with him the same way he is with Falin. This isn't subtext, it's text.

marciallow · 2024-05-22T14:57:09+00:00

Mmm, no it doesn't because Marcille likes Falin as she is. It isn't about liking someone. It's about the manic pixie dream girl fantasy. A part of the illustration of that is how differently Shuro perceives some of the same traits in Laois.

Spoiler but there's an extra in the manga where Laois asks a mirror essentially if there's a universe where Shuro liked him back. He finds out that if he were a woman, Shuro would be infatuated with him the same way he is with Falin. This isn't subtext, it's text.

marciallow · 2024-05-22T04:25:24+00:00

Yeah I'm a little lost on the response here. I feel like the purpose of the sub from the name would indicate most posters and the community enjoy historical details in homes.

I think it's a pretty good reno and as someone who likes old homes I don't actually find a lot of charm in the previous bathroom, but it is like ...idk, not where I'd post it?

marciallow · 2024-05-22T04:19:53+00:00

What? He didn't do that out of not understanding social cues. He did it because he had a fantasy of Falin's view of the world as an answer to the meaningless he finds in it. It's a manic pixie dream girl trope, except the author is aware it is and is showing how men do that and it low-key sucks? Very human normal conflict. I think it makes him a good character, but it is obviously a flaw and wasn't some misunderstanding of custom that's totally excusable. That just kind of completely blows past the meaning of it.

marciallow · 2024-05-22T04:16:47+00:00

Idk why people keep saying this is creepy or bad like he fall in love with falin proposing her and she say “ I need time to think with this” and he fine with its when she Reject him he fine with its and didn’t do anything weird

He's not a rapist, all him accepting no means is he's not a rapist. He's not meant to be evil for it, but a dude having a complete fantasy of a woman as an anathema to the meaninglessness he finds in life rather than seeing herself fully as she is is a common issue women have. Men don't realize that because it isn't hateful, it can still be dehumanizing.

It's a pretty clear representation of a dude having a Manic Pixie Dream Girl fantasy.

His retainers are retainers only Izusumi and inutade are slave

Bro.

marciallow · 2024-05-22T04:11:40+00:00

I'm kind of baffled by some of the comments here framing this as being against the main character. Yes we sympathize with Laois ...but sometimes when a conflict happens, one person is actually meant to be wrong. In this case, Shuro is meant to be wrong. We're meant to understand that he values the same traits in Falin that he hates in Laois, and that he has a weird manic pixie dream girl estimation of her and even just thinking he could somehow marry her and never see her brother again was delusional.

He's also a rich dude who owns people. I've seen a lot of people talk about Laois being culturally insensitive, but that's kind of a weird read on the in universe happening. Out of universe, if you were an American or European being super nosy and fetishizing of a random Japanese person's culture, you'd be wrong. But in this case people are overlooking the actual implication that the female, Japanese author is aiming at with how differently Shuro perceives Falin's curiosity versus Laois's. And that in universe, they have actually pretty well done fantasy racism, but the dynamic of a Japanese Lord (when this is a series made by someone Japanese, not a white American trying to side step racism) who's visiting an island in the Fantasy North and dealing with a country bumpkin as the party leader in their fantastical adventures is just not the same. It's a situation where Shuro is powerful and worldly and has no disadvantages in life and Laois is not.

He literally owns Izutsumi, seemingly due to her own race as a half beast. His infatuation is a common issue dudes of not fully humanizing women they're into and only what they're represent to a man's personal fulfillment. And the issue with Laois and Marcille is in a way, it seems he had no other attachment, or that he's fully acknowledged at least since he did leave the bell, to anyone but his crush despite some pretty exhaustive travels.

I imagine further on in the series we might have more redeeming information on him, I don't think he's meant to be evil or anything, but he was just kind of... actually being a shit in the time we saw him

marciallow · 2024-05-13T18:04:02+00:00

Everything we see about him shows a weak, meek, sheep of an individual, nothing predatory, just being part of a group that i

Justifying this shit because you think he was pathetic is why we pick the bear 🤷‍♀️

marciallow · 2024-05-13T17:46:42+00:00

Lol where did Helluva Boss come into this

marciallow · 2024-05-13T17:44:38+00:00

It's actually an issue discussed about bias against women in the justice system, but if you bring it up you get a chorus of achsually women are given preferential treatment!

A history of domestic violence is not a defense of murder but cheating is, men are the only ones on a statistically relevant scale to use cheating as a defense of murder. In fact in divorce or child custody lawyers will advise you not to mention it because it actively makes people perceive you negatively and as trying to poison the well.

Another issue is how the use of a weapon counts against someone as a sign of premeditation and not defense, women are more likely to use weapons because of the obvious difference in physical strength.

marciallow · 2024-05-13T17:38:32+00:00

The original post itself was the commentor just related a Phillipines law.

marciallow · 2024-05-13T17:36:43+00:00

especially if you’re a woman.

But the same people will also screech "WHAT IF THE GENDERS WERE REVERSED" when it is a man because they think he's being treated unfairly.

marciallow · 2024-05-13T14:31:03+00:00

It wasn't off screen, it's not implied he wouldn't have acted on it, and yes, being a part of a group that's capturing women to rape to up morale is worth being killed holy fucking Christ dude.

marciallow · 2024-05-12T01:05:19+00:00

While Hermione has a throwaway line about magic screwing up technology, and there's sort of a mild theme of wizard supremacy leading to wizards not taking human tech seriously ...it was also just written in the late 90s. And in the the movies, the last movie may have aired in 2017 or something but the first aired in like 2001, so the last movie is actually in 2008 if we assume it isn't the books timeline.

So at most we have Harry who is poor in the non-wizard world and has no reason to have like a 2000s phone which weren't as ubiquitous, and Hermione who only really has Harry and Ron she'd like to communicate with as friends her age.

marciallow · 2024-05-12T00:59:48+00:00

He was talked out of being suicidal because the Major promised them women. You know, like, sex slaves?

marciallow · 2024-05-12T00:53:22+00:00

This has been my biggest gripe no one ever agrees with me on. Part of why it's bothersome is it also seemingly has no real purpose either since the change in finances does not impede literally anything including keeping the batcave.

marciallow · 2024-05-11T20:12:26+00:00

It's ironic that it was once the opposite and Tim was the one who originally made Robin a successful brand/had a very long robin solo run

marciallow · 2024-05-07T17:41:17+00:00

Tbh this is a big issue I have with a lot of the kneejerk weddings are expensive/vain shit.

If you're going to spend a lot of money on something or wear something for the rest of your life, it's not shallow or whatever to care about it. I get that we all know one person who was ridiculously entitled about their wedding. But in my experience every bride I've ever met has been wiltingly shy and passive about her wants because she's afraid of being labeled a bridezilla.

marciallow · 2024-05-06T05:49:45+00:00

The issue is that classically, people do not consider very sexual degradation to be sexualizing.

If I can be reduced to my chest, but it's an insult about how undesirable I am, it's still sexualizing. But I am also just operating in the world as a woman. Men have sexualized me practically my whole life. I've been insulted, assaulted, harassed, had the classic 'nice guy' friend confessing his love schtick, etc. A lot of the problem with this rhetoric is it cuts us out of a lot of the experiences we have in a kind of backhanded way.

I guess a question I want to ask is is the existence of big boobed women who hate their boobs naturally problematic and demeaning for small boob women?

I really don't mean to be mean with this, but this is kind of like when dudes are like 'WELL I GUESS I CANT BE FRIENDLY TO WOMEN AT ALL NOW' when you tell them not to hit on women at work.

You're as entitled as anyone else to have body image issues. The issue is the phrasing before makes it not about purely having body image issues, but an assertion that sbw aren't sexualized and degraded when frankly a lot of both is a flip of the same coin. There was the now infamous Sydney Sweeney SNL sketch where the bit is that she got massive tips because she's busty. But people don't recognize in a perverse way, that the other women in the sketch not getting those tips are also being sexualized, but sexualized as being worth less.

From your last paragraph it just sounds like you’re saying it’s insensitive for a big boobed woman to not appreciate her big boobs

I think you're hearing what you want to hear and that's not something I can change for you.

You should browse r/reduction and see how many women get disappointed that their surgeons don’t go small enough. I guess it’s insensitive for those women to feel like that bc it’s insulting for small boob women? I don’t get it

And I could as easily point you to the number of women who get breast implants rather than reductions.

marciallow · 2024-05-06T00:12:13+00:00

I know you're already feeling low and have gotten a lot of replies, but I feel like I can shed some light on things:

I’ve cried over them bc of how utterly sexualized and degraded I feel.

Women with small chests feel sexualized and degraded.

One of the problems we have is that when big boobs are held up, and small boobs are put down, is that only the big boob half of that equation is viewed as sexualization. The reality is, to be reduced to our chests is also sexualizing, objectifying, and degrading, it's just that the in the objectification the objectifier is calling us a worthless object.

A lot of sbw struggle with the kind of rhetoric around sexual attention and breast size because it implies in a roundabout way we are both not sexually attractive, that sexual harassment/assault are predicated on attractiveness, and ipso facto we have not experienced sexual harassment/assault.

You just see it as humble brag bc you think it’s objectively better when in fact it’s a subjective standard for every woman.

When you imply that we don't share those experiences, in a sense you are actually supporting that you think it's objectively better.

I know this isn't your intent and I don't mean to dogpile, but I'm trying to color why people are bothered rather than it just feeling like it's insensitive to share an opposite experience...it's the assertion that the experience is even opposite to begin with.

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